We must learn, then teach our children too that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning.
Like rapport-building, charm and the deceptive smile, unsolicited niceness often has a discoverable motive.
~ Gavin de Becker, 'The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence'
@housinghun here's the thing no one has touched on because they're all focused on how preposterous you are for thinking a kind, lonely lady is a paedophile - which of course you never said.
I wonder has anyone on this entire site ever had reiki done? Probably not. I'm sure it's far too woowoo for the level headed ladies of Mumsnet!
I've had it done. The first time by my lovely sister who'd only just passed her certification, and sadly I couldn't ascertain any effect.
The second time was a fiver deal at a local community centre where I went along just for larks. The woman allocated to me had her hands above my head, she was not touching me yet my head got so hot and my neck felt like it was going to snap from the extreme downward pressure radiating from her hands. I was more than a little freaked out.
Years later one of my (very level headed) clients told me that he'd once randomly, socially ended up in the company of an energy healer who'd gone on to heal him from the opposite end of a long hallway. Kind of as a party trick for the scoffers just to demonstrate how effective and powerful his energy healing was. Thing is, my client had had a very bad back ongoing for years which had occured due to a motorbike injury. And that random bloke healed it. Completely! The problem never returned. My client said he felt extreme heat at the time, like someone had placed a fire on full blast right behind him.
There's also some old footage of a qi gong master in China raising fire by the sheer focus of qi energy via his hands. It's not AI - I first saw it many years ago. The master was secretly filmed by a travelling American who'd heard about his skills and gone to seek him out and the master was livid to discover he'd been filmed.
I never went to have reiki again but I do have another experience of energy transference to relate vis an old lady who lived on my friend's street and used to sit on the steps outside her house. I can't remember how I first got chatting to her but after that I'd always pause. If my friend was with me, he wouldn't stop, just walk on. He told me he didn't trust her. His choice so I didn't press it but I did continue stopping alone for a quick chat whenever I passed.
So I thought my friend was just being moody as she seemed lovely, tho the conversation was often about some problem she was having. One of her complaints was about a friend who'd been so helpful doing things for her, then 'suddenly' they fell out and the woman abandoned her. It was clear to me from what was said about the situation that the friend had decided she was being used, but steps sitting woman's POV was that she herself was the victim of some huge misunderstanding.
Despite getting the ick from that, operating from the pov that 'no one is perfect' I still felt sorry for her so continued to pause in passing for a chat.
Then one time she was struggling to get some shopping up her steps so I actually went into her front garden to help instead of just chatting with her from the pavement. After I carried her stuff up, she touched my arm and I immediately felt cold running right through me and got a sharp headache. I'm not kidding or exaggerating, it was immediate and I was greatly disturbed by it.
When I reached my friend's home and told him, his response was "and that's why I stay away from her. I always got a bad vibe and you just confirmed it: energy vampire." Just as reiki lady et al had put energy out which generates heat and healing, others can take energy which generates cold and harm. And I'd always thought energy vampirism was purely emotional. Silly me! Though of course it can be that too.
Sure, the vast majority of people who touch us to express caring are completely benign and genuine. Unfortunately some (perhaps especially likely those who hang around waiting to catch passers by) are predators, rather than 'the lonely' or 'the damsels in distress' they present as. Unfortunately my gut does often fail me in telling the difference, but not everyone's does. I should have listened to my friend the first time.