Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

[housinghun]

I have a 2 year old and and when we go out sometimes we will see an older lady (about 60s early 70s) and she will always approach my son.

It started off as "Can I say hello?".
I agreed.

Next time she attempted to remove his cap "to see his face".
This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, touching my son.

OH took our son out last week and he told me that an old lady had smiled through the window at them as they walked past.
She had come running out the house and shouted "hello" but by that time they were gone down the road.
It was her.
I had never really mentioned this to him and this was the first time he has seen her.

I know it's innocent but it makes me feel really uncomfortable now going past as I don't want a stranger touching my son.

I did tell her "please don't touch him" as I don't want him getting used to strangers touching him.

I am over protective of my son but just wanted others views.
AIBU to feel this way?

AIBU

A perfect example of what I've just added 😂

My DH grabbed a child who was about to run into the road the other day as her parents weren't watching her. I said, jokingly, you shouldn't have intervened as the police will accuse you of molesting her. Not too far from the truth. After reading this thread I will never intervene in any situation or interact with any children.

Cool story.

Oh good lord you can't be serious. As if that has ANYTHING to do with the situation in the OP.

Its no wonder society is fucked when the OP thinks being polite to a probably lonely and isolated old lady is a big ask and makes her uncomfortable.

How true. Just an old lady who is now being painted as a dangerous pedo.

You are being ridiculous 🙄

Actually I would agree that getting involved is often not worth it.

Why is her age relevant?

YANBU. It’s the extent of it that sounds wrong. I’m sure we’ve all had older women come up and admire our babies and toddlers or make a comment about their lovely curls or cute outfit or whatever, but there’s a difference between that and someone looking out the window, rushing out of her house and touching your child even though you’ve asked her not to and your DS doesn’t like it.

Trust your instincts. Something about this woman makes you feel uneasy. She made your OH uneasy too. Next time cross the road, walk on quickly and blank her. Your son is a person not a doll. His boundaries matter - and so do yours as his mother.

Complete bollocks.

Assault Toddlers in buggies with their mother there? Not heard of any cases of that

And none of them were killed with their mother's present

You run the risk of raising a child with irrational fears and self doubt. You sound very controlling.

You don't have to feel guilty about this
Just don't give the lady mixed signals
I would simply hate this over friendliness- it's my personality. If I saw her I would run the other way, or if she approached I would say Sorry we are in a hurry.

Women approaching 40 & over start to feel old compared to the youth of today. They like to believe women in their 6Os are past it in order to make them feel younger so they refer to them as old ladies 😂

I am genuinely aghast at some of the nasty replies on here.

I am happy for my son to say hello to people we see throughout our travels, he is very friendly.

BUT this lady's behaviour is very strange, she ran out of her house to see my son, that's very odd behaviour.

I don't owe her access to my son or any other stranger for that matter and I don't have to explain/ justify that to anyone either.

The fact other parents have commented that she also makes them feel uncomfortable with her behaviour is very telling.

Even if she is lonely or has dementia how am I responsible for that sorry?

I will get old one day but I can assure you I won't go round randomly touching/ frightening other peoples young children.

@WembleyArenaParking I am so sorry to read about your brother. That is awful. Thank you for sharing your story and for your support x

If you say so lol I'm nowhere near 40 either 🤣

And the lady dosent stop to just say "hello" either.
Asks for his name.
If he is my first child.
Asks my name.
Asks where we live.
Where his dad is.

This is just a woman whose house I went past on the way to my local corner shop and she stopped us "to say hello" to my son.

Mega drip feed! You didn't think to include this in your numerous previous posts?

That's unfair, James Bulger was taken from his mother while her back was turned.

I think OPs point is valid in some ways, yes she's an innocent old lady, but how is a child supposed to know the difference between an innocent old lady wanting to touch him and hug him to someone with more nefarious purposes, no stranger should be trying to hug a child that isn't theirs, and it's fine for OP to say no to her to advocate for her son.

It's the exact same reason I come down super hard on my MIL giving my daughter sweets and telling her it's 'their little secret' .. it makes my skin crawl. Or offering her something and getting her to give her a kiss in return for it, I've let it go a couple of times but that is on the hit list next if it carries on.

This old woman is probably just craving human interaction and finds children receptive to that, but I don't think it is right that she has completely ignored OP asking her politely not to touch him, and continues to try, she is ignoring the boundaries and pushing her own needs on to the child.. there is something not quite right there, and I would not be forcing my child to tolerate it so it didn't offend her.

Do you think the fact that over 90% of sexual offenders against children are men might have something to do with that?

Amazing all these new details. Almost like you are trying to paint a slightly different picture of the event of a older lady touching a hat. She should obviously be tarred and feathered for her outrageous audacity.

@friedaklein
Well to be honest and just like majority of people on this thread I just assumed she was a lonely lady being friendly.

I didn't really think much of it (apart from the repeated touching) until OH mentioned it when they went for a walk.

I had never mentioned her or this to my OH until he mentioned it to me, as it's not something that I thought was significant to mention if that makes sense?

But when we spoke about the whole situation it makes us both feel super uncomfortable and would prefer not to have any more interactions with her.

Just look at all the new details raining down from the OP. Chinny reckon.