Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

[housinghun]

I have a 2 year old and and when we go out sometimes we will see an older lady (about 60s early 70s) and she will always approach my son.

It started off as "Can I say hello?".
I agreed.

Next time she attempted to remove his cap "to see his face".
This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, touching my son.

OH took our son out last week and he told me that an old lady had smiled through the window at them as they walked past.
She had come running out the house and shouted "hello" but by that time they were gone down the road.
It was her.
I had never really mentioned this to him and this was the first time he has seen her.

I know it's innocent but it makes me feel really uncomfortable now going past as I don't want a stranger touching my son.

I did tell her "please don't touch him" as I don't want him getting used to strangers touching him.

I am over protective of my son but just wanted others views.
AIBU to feel this way?

AIBU

Ignore the people on this thread, OP. Mumsnet is OBSESSED with saying that older women are 'oppressed' and invisible and can do no wrong. It's very boring.

Actually I think possessiveness plays a big part in posts like this, along with posts about people 'handing round the baby'.
It's dressed up as concern for the child but the reality is it's the parent being possessive and viewing the child as their personal property, not a independent person.

It’s definitely tradition in the North of England to ‘cross a baby’s palm’ with silver the first time you meet them to bring them good luck. A couple of older people did it to my little ones when out and about in the pram, often with a 50p (silver coin), I think it’s a lovely sentiment

The old people germs! The choking risk! The allergy risk! The danger of making contact with the sacred child by putting the coin in the pram! The invasion of personal space! Not asking permission (it's HER baby, not theirs!)
Welcome to Britain 2026.

I think she is probably old and lonely..This could be any of us in the future..I think we need to be kind to the elderly, assuming she isn't going to attack anyone

An older lady touched my child also and i agree, it made me feel really uncomfortable. No one needs to touch your child.

My response would have been very different if your original post had included the important details that your son didn't like being touched, that you asked her not to touch him and that she did it again. You are being totally reasonable to make sure she doesn't touch him again.

I'm in the Midlands and when mine was tiny and out in the pram a few people did that, it was a 50p piece "for luck" and I thought it was a sweet thing to do.

Agree with this completely

That's quite different from the situation in the OP. I do wish people would stop piling on the OP with these irrelevant anecdotes.

My son does like being touched but not by people he dosent know and who are strangers to him, I think it reminds him of going to the dentist/doctors.

With people he knows/other kids he is fine.

@NeverKnowinglyUnderstated
Get a grip on a stranger touching my child? I don't think so.

So a 70 yr old woman interacting with a small child who is with a parent is actually a scout for a paedophile gang? Behave yourself!

I do think small children have a right to have their personal space respected, and I'm normally a great one for not making a fuss about anything. But physical boundaries are important to teach.

The lady behaves quite strange, like running out the house to see my son when he was walking with OH.

She does the same to other neighbours kids too and they don't like it.

Maybe about 50 years ago it was harmless but times have changed now.

We go out every day and see loads of people who always wave back at my son when he says hello/ waves, nobody stops to touch him.

Older ladies and men are always smiling and engaging with my little girl. I don’t really see the issue to be honest.

Maybe about 50 years ago it was harmless but times have changed now
What does this even mean?!

There's surely a difference between 'smiling and engaging' and pulling a child's hat off and getting up in their face.

Some of the care homes around us have a partnership with the local nurseries and pre schools. The kids go in once a month and they play games, read stories and just generally enjoy each bothers company. They even hold hands!!!
The residents that are able are invited to a tea party or a story day at the nursery usually once a term and the children make them little cakes and sandwiches. It is delightful to see.

Yeah maybe. I don’t know, I would just feel a bit sad for her more than anything. She could be lonely or have additional needs. It wouldn’t make me irate.

I'm not sure that's right. My toddler would probably let anyone do anything to her unless it waa violent. I am the person that decides whether to allow it. For example, my toddler doesnt flinch when someone close to us is smoking a cigarette, however I make a decision to move us both.

Her loneliness and additional needs are not the OP's concern.

Go with your gut. By the looks of this thread, there are plenty of people out there who will be quite happy for this woman to touch their children, so she certainly won't be deprived.

She’s not a stranger now though is she? So you needn’t be worried.
she sounds lovely- whilst you sound like right fright

Ah you would like me, OP. I don’t even say hello or wave to small children!