Old lady keeps approaching my toddler, making me feel uncomfortable

[housinghun]

I have a 2 year old and and when we go out sometimes we will see an older lady (about 60s early 70s) and she will always approach my son.

It started off as "Can I say hello?".
I agreed.

Next time she attempted to remove his cap "to see his face".
This made me feel extremely uncomfortable, touching my son.

OH took our son out last week and he told me that an old lady had smiled through the window at them as they walked past.
She had come running out the house and shouted "hello" but by that time they were gone down the road.
It was her.
I had never really mentioned this to him and this was the first time he has seen her.

I know it's innocent but it makes me feel really uncomfortable now going past as I don't want a stranger touching my son.

I did tell her "please don't touch him" as I don't want him getting used to strangers touching him.

I am over protective of my son but just wanted others views.
AIBU to feel this way?

AIBU

Nappy changing isn't a great comparison as you wouldn't let a stranger (male or female) change a child's nappy.

In my street there is a similar lady who acts like this, always talked to my child when they were little, even gave them some chocolate once Christmas. Now my child is teen and the lady still talks to me anytime I see her- her house is at the very beginning of the road so I have to pass her house daily ..She is a lovely lady and I recently found out she was retired primary teacher - who just happened to miss her job…

I agree what is the world coming to when humans want to interact with each other. We should all blank each other when out in public, no smiling at children or babies. The world would be a much nicer place. In fact we could all carry a mobile phone and scroll endlessly on it as we walk in case we're even slightly tempted to make eye contact with someone.

The lady isnt just smiling though, is she.

Chat and smile to a stranger - fine. Try to hug and hold hands - not fine.

I wouldn't like it, no matter how harmless the little old lady (or vibrant young lady depending on how we're seeing 60's or 70's) was, so I'd advocate for a small child, who wouldn't be able to speak up for themselves. As far as I'm concerned everybody has the right not to be touched by strangers.

This 100%.

I wonder if the people the berating OP would be quite so forthcoming if it was a stranger asking to touch and hug them.

it doesn't have to be about peadophiles or any reason at all. It is absolutely reasonable with no justification needed, to ask strangers no to touch your child.

adults and even adult women do not have a right to override a parents request not to touch their child. its bloody weird that so many of you can't see this.

just because you are not hurting anyone or don't mean harm or are a woman doesn't mean you can go around touching random children if asked not to. Why do you as a stranger think your desire overrides a parent request.

Can you not see how problematic that is? Children are vulnerable people not toys, the least a parent can do is decide not offer them up to the personal whims of a stranger actually. a womb doesn't give you a right to disregard bodily autonomy.

and a chat with a child is a perfectly fine interaction without touching them. let it be enough or even better question why you think it isn't

I've said it before but MN is stuffed full of fucking lunatics who've boundarified themselves out of normal human interactions.

I genuinely hope that if OP ever finds the much-vaunted "village" that everyone apparently needs the village tells her to go and do one.

'' An old lady" 😂
I was chatting to my DH & was reminiscing about a woman I used to babysit for when I was 17. She looked beautiful. I said to my mum I hope I look as good as her when I'm that old. The woman was 32 😂😂
I suppose it's a matter of perception depending on your age

"boundarified themselves out of normal human interactions"

Hahahaha

This ! My neighbour is in his 80s and every single time we meet him outside, he asks if my 3 year old son is boy or girl 😁 100% Dementia and ge lives alone. my husband finds it extremely annoying, however, we all will be old ....I wouldn't have issues with body contact too

I'm 68 so I'm also.in the mad old bird frame. I'd better keep myself in check 🤣

You're right. I reckon she's a witch and her house is made out of gingerbread and sweets.

Or it could be a scout for child kidnapping. This happens in the south of France a lot.

It wouldnt bother me in the slightest. I do still touch children - not in a weird way obs, but if i am chatting to someone i would take there hand or touch there cheek and people did that to my son. I honestly think this is very silly post and so sad - just avoid her, if she is old you will be faster than her. 😅

Ah yes, that normal human interaction of touching strangers and trying to remove their hats. I don't just think its the lunatics on MN. But feel free to approach hat wearers in public and see what reaction you get.

Same, it's hilarious & I actually think it's a wind up. 😂
Having said that I've just posted a reply saying when I was 17 I described someone at 32 as old 😂

Where do you think it starts? parents telling their children to be rude to the elderly.

Does it?

Feel sorry for her. I’m sure she’s just lonely and who knows, maybe your son brightens her day up a little- he might make her think of her own children.

OFFS that has to be the stupidest post I have ever seen on here, which is really saying something.

My mum was a hairdresser when I was a baby/toddler and also had separated from my dad. This was just before min wage was introduced (thanks Labour) so she didn’t earn enough to pay for childcare and I had to go with her to work.

She worked in a little salon old ladies frequented for their perms. I have fond memories of a couple of them who would take me to their house for tea sometimes after getting their hair cut, or take me to the corner shop for chocolate.

Imagine if she’d been precious enough to deny these sweet old ladies the pleasure of my company incase they wanted to hurt me in some way. They were literally 80+ on mobility scooters and lonely, I kept them company.

Ah yes, a normal human interaction with a baby redefined by Mumsnet as "touching strangers".

The toddler and lady don't know each other. So yes a stranger.

Everyone in your life- except your parents and siblings- were strangers to begin with. Children are learning how to interact with people they meet in the world and make friendships and connections.