AIBU to set a summer schedule for my kids this summer holidays?

[livingthroughchaossince2010]

I have 5 children, the oldest is 16, the youngest is 5. With the summer holidays coming up I realised that I don't have to have summer be as stressful as possible! We are going abroad for 2 weeks but we are home for the other 4 weeks. And every year I lose my mind during the summer holidays. All 5 kids being home for 6 weeks is a recipe for absolute disaster! So I am trying to set a schedule this year, hoping for the best. The schedule is:

Everyday: Everyone is awake by 9am, chores whilst breakfast is being made, clean up after breakfast, 30 minutes of school work to avoid the school slide over the summer, lunch, every evening one of the kids helps cook dinner, dinner, give the house a quick tidy, then for the younger kids it's bath then reading then bed at 9:30pm
Monday: Creative Monday - Build something, do some arts and crafts, be creative
Tuesday: Trip Tuesday - Go on a trip to the zoo, aquarium, a day trip, beach day
Wednesday: Water Wednesday - Go to the swimming pool, a splash park, see if there is any water parks, maybe turn the garden into a mini water park - if its raining then we change the plans of course
Thursday: Thinking Thursday - Library every week then we go to a museum, historical location or we go to an event that is encouraging learning
Friday: Friday fun day - Bowling, Mini golf, cinema, theatre and then we have a family movie night at home that evening
Saturday: Relax - We have no plans!
Sunday: Sunday Reset day - clean the house to have a nice clean house for the week ahead, my DH and I will plan for the week ahead and meal plan, family takeaway night

The teenagers obviously don't have to follow the day to day schedule. They have to be up by 9am, do chores and do their school work but they don't have to come with us to every location we go to during the week. This schedule is more for the younger kids benefit!

I told another mum my plans earlier this morning, she thought I was bloody mental for trying to schedule the summer holidays! Apparently the summer holidays are for relaxing and no plans but every year I go insane and this feels like an efficient way to solve the yearly summer holidays stress! My kids thrive when they have a routine.

Am I unreasonable for setting a summer schedule this summer?

I think it’s a great idea. Kids thrive on routine and knowing what’s coming up. Five kids is a lot so I think it’s even more important to have routine and set expectations.

Strict routines might suit you but what about the other 5 people involved here? Plus your non negotiable early morning chores would take me about 10 minutes in total. Why insist all are up in time to do them to your schedule? TBH, if I had 5 children, I'd be happy if most didn't rise early and I had a bit of time to myself in the mornings.

16 year old has to be up by 9 doing chores before breakfast and school work after breakfast in school holidays?

Love the idea , @livingthroughchaossince2010

Generally children/young people do better with a schedule and with boundaries. They feel safer knowing what's what.

In fact, I do too!

I think some more flex would be possible without the household turning to chaos.

E.g assuming the 16 year old isn't obliged to follow the 9:30pm bedtime, why does it matter if they choose to empty the bin/dishwasher/make sure the breakfast table is clear before they go to bed. You could have an arrangement whereby if their chores are done before they go to bed then you won't wake them up til 10am or 10:30 and otherwise it's 9am.

And for the movie nights I would really not compel them to go, or at least offer them opt outs, or run the family movie night on a Sunday if you want everyone to go. We used to have a lot of parties on Friday nights and my friends who had families who made them stay in a) missed out on a lot socially and b) were pretty resentful of their family. You don't need to put movie night on a Friday but do check with your teen on this - parties used to be on a Friday mainly for us because parents didn't have to work the next day and it gave them the whole of Saturday to tidy the house up, and if necessary Sunday as well. Sometimes they were on a Saturday or other days of the week but Friday was definitely really common.

I actually just comped this idea.
told my kids to think of some things they want to do and I will put them in the calendar. I won’t do the get up times thing because they wake at 6 every day but I will def be making them take some more responsibility round the house with tidying because the house gets messy enough when they’re out of it for 8 hours a day… let alone when they’re in it most of the day! Lots of people on here have no clue what it’s like with more than 1/2 kids clearly

#copied (no glasses on)

Well at least they’ll be looking forward to going back to school for a relaxing break!!

Perfect plan, Op.
The get up by xxx time is great.

You can always try it and have the odd break from the routine if it's too structured.

Also suggest that the teens think up ways to make money.
Watch out for local shows, volunteer environmental clean ups etc too.
Would one older child enjoy taking one younger child to library etc sometimes?

I think it’s a fantastic idea! Will your teens go for it? I wish I’d been stricter with mine and not let them lie in too much at that age because it’s not good for their mental health to be in bed all day. You sound a fab mum, 👏

I think your plan involves too much. It is their holiday time. Why not let them enjoy times with local friends .For younger ones the reading challenge could be useful.

So?

I’d be praying to get back to school….

Yeah you know what I have no idea of what it’s like to have more than two…and that’s probably why a lot of people are confused and appalled at the same time. I can’t understand what would compel OP to do this…I also can’t understand what would compel someone to have 5 dc in the first place!! So yeah we are ultimately just very different people!

That wouldn't work for us. 4 dc here. Eldest 19 works so he is not involved much with our day trips and sees friends when it suits him as he has his own car. 15yo often prefers to stay at home so we just do the odd trip away during the week with the 10 and 8yo. We keep things flexible as someone usually has GP appointment or something so often that ends up being an admin day for me and I do housework.

You definitely need to be flexible. Teens have to be awake by 12 noon. That's our house rule. We don't want them turning night into day!

Why did you start this thread? You are 100% convinced that you are not unreasonable in any way and it will work well for your family. Great! Have a lovely summer. Not sure why you’re posting in AIBU though.

We are up 6 sharp most days whether a school day or holiday. So for us we need to keep busy with stuff. I have to keep a routine as I have so much going on like yourself OP. I get what you're meaning though, sets a good tone for the older ones.

I can’t believe someone asked this question. Equally shocked you bothered answering. So obvious

Yeh, don't do this. All great ideas but they won't last for various reasons. Summer should be for spontaneity. Absolutely plan soem days but children need to learn to be bored and amuse themselves.

I remember trying to create schedules for my DC during covid. It created peace in my mind until it came to actually following the schedule.
I understand why you want to do it, and the number of kids you have, age range, time to fill would definitwly have me tearing my hair out. DH and I both work so, other than covid, don't have such long stretches of time with no plans for the kids to fill without structure of school, activities or childcare. Scheduling the childcare and activities around work was a different kind of tough.
Do none of them have an activity camp they'd like to do? Or arrange to have friends over?
I'd say crack on with it, see how it goes for the first week or so. Be prepared to switch things around or have a day off. Maybe relax the 9am up and chores slot to 10am for the teens. And relax the schoolwork every day to 2-3 days a week. Would you go and visit friends or family for a day/two day trip at all to see another place?

Op I get the sentiment behind this and suspect the day categories are loose enough to move stuff about and switch things.
i tended to ask the dc for ideas they’d like to do over the holidays and just alternate them with things I wanted to do 😂
although I think 9am is early for everyone to be up dressed and ready for the holidays unless it’s a specific all day trip where we needed to be out of the house early.
I also do understand the need if you have 5dc to keep to some kind of routine, I have 3 and when they were younger I didn’t love the endless steam of them waking up half an hour after each other and drifting into the kitchen to make 3 different breakfasts at different times. It’s 3 sets of them clearing up not quite to my standards 😂
Anyway you know your dc best, I think the 30 minutes of school work is a bit arbitrary but it’s 30 minutes out of the day and if they’ll do it without grumbling then crack on.
Now I have 2 adult dc and 1 teen who is very chilled and I will be working other than time booked off for holidays so he’ll be doing what he wants most of the rest of the time which will be getting up around 10, making breakfast and then finding some friends to play football with in the park!

Ever thought of allowing your kids to rest or heaven forbid enjoy themselves and see their mates?? Up by 9 to do your housework is rediculous

I’m doing something quite similar with DDs 12 and 10. Basically wake up time with morning structure and some planned activities during the week. My children would otherwise melt into the sofa and watch tv all day. They are often the type that are hard to get out of the house but then we all have fun when we actually do it.

It’s my first time doing this so I’ll see how it goes but they are on board at the moment at least!

It sounds lovely. My children would enjoy this structure for the most part. We’re at home for 5 weeks of these holidays and I’m instigating a bit of a holiday rhythm too.

Not sure on enforced wake up time yet, but no screens first thing.
1 or 2 board games played together.
1 or 2 chapters of a book read together, with some follow up comprehension/text analysis questions, done verbally.
Cooking or craft projects to be discussed and agreed with me.
That will take us to lunch and in the afternoon they’re free to meet up with friends, have screen time, we might go out. They will be expected to keep a tidyish room too.

I used to home educate them and this is quite a similar structure to what we did then, only there was a lot more written/jotter work then. The holidays can evaporate into thin air if you are at home a lot and don’t have a plan on how you’ll spend your days.

The OP sounds very sensible - and lucky to have the resources.

I'm dreading the six weeks of bickering and bad temper with screen addicts refusing to eat properly, shower or leave their beds/the sofa, while I'm trying to work. And a trail.of crumbs and ice lolly wrappers & sticks everywhere.