AIBU to set a summer schedule for my kids this summer holidays?

[livingthroughchaossince2010]

I have 5 children, the oldest is 16, the youngest is 5. With the summer holidays coming up I realised that I don't have to have summer be as stressful as possible! We are going abroad for 2 weeks but we are home for the other 4 weeks. And every year I lose my mind during the summer holidays. All 5 kids being home for 6 weeks is a recipe for absolute disaster! So I am trying to set a schedule this year, hoping for the best. The schedule is:

Everyday: Everyone is awake by 9am, chores whilst breakfast is being made, clean up after breakfast, 30 minutes of school work to avoid the school slide over the summer, lunch, every evening one of the kids helps cook dinner, dinner, give the house a quick tidy, then for the younger kids it's bath then reading then bed at 9:30pm
Monday: Creative Monday - Build something, do some arts and crafts, be creative
Tuesday: Trip Tuesday - Go on a trip to the zoo, aquarium, a day trip, beach day
Wednesday: Water Wednesday - Go to the swimming pool, a splash park, see if there is any water parks, maybe turn the garden into a mini water park - if its raining then we change the plans of course
Thursday: Thinking Thursday - Library every week then we go to a museum, historical location or we go to an event that is encouraging learning
Friday: Friday fun day - Bowling, Mini golf, cinema, theatre and then we have a family movie night at home that evening
Saturday: Relax - We have no plans!
Sunday: Sunday Reset day - clean the house to have a nice clean house for the week ahead, my DH and I will plan for the week ahead and meal plan, family takeaway night

The teenagers obviously don't have to follow the day to day schedule. They have to be up by 9am, do chores and do their school work but they don't have to come with us to every location we go to during the week. This schedule is more for the younger kids benefit!

I told another mum my plans earlier this morning, she thought I was bloody mental for trying to schedule the summer holidays! Apparently the summer holidays are for relaxing and no plans but every year I go insane and this feels like an efficient way to solve the yearly summer holidays stress! My kids thrive when they have a routine.

Am I unreasonable for setting a summer schedule this summer?

Oh, stop. You absolutely don't need to get everyone up, dressed and doing schoolwork and chores by 9am to have a functional household 😂

Agree with this. My kids have always crawled to the end of the school year, can’t imagine making them get up and do chores and school work first thing every day. We always make sure we have a nice mix of rest and relaxation, activities and a bit of learning without being so hardcore.

Sorry I am commenting agin but hey ho. My friend grew in a house like this - 4 out of the 6 kids are NC with their parents. The controlling didn’t stop when they left home turned 18, or moved out…

I think this is too much - I get up early in the week for work but love a lie in at the weekend. I don’t get
up at 6:30 still, do my chores and then log on and do half an hour of work. That would be odd.

Sorry, it sounds awful! But the only routine we have in this house is there is no routine. If it works for your kids fine, but mine would think I’d lost my mind if I suggested anything like what you’ve planned. Holidays are for sleeping, relaxing and zero pressure to be anywhere or do anything. We have enough of that in term time.

School work in the summer holiday? Why?

I would let your teens sleep in – it's developmentally important.

I think it's fine for your littler ones – 5 kids is a lot. The 9am with immediate chores is a bit harsh though.

my kids would have rebelled from age 8 onwards at that timetable, particularly at the school work. Plus why not have downtime several times a week? And when are they going to see friends, my DCs spent a lot of the summer holidays playing with friends, at our house or at their friends houses. My DC were in childcare 3 days a week in primary while I worked. Of the other 4 days we probably went out 1 day maximum, the beach was a popular destination, also a hike with a picnic they enjoyed, perhaps an expensive visit to a city / zoo (they both loved zoos) / somewhere else once or twice per summer holidays. One thing they loved when smaller was a walk around the village we lived in going to all 4 playgrounds, and getting a drink at the village shop.

I do think that chores do need doing but your shedule is too rigid. It doesn't matter if the dish washer is emptied at lunchtime on some days. It is also good to be spontaneous. Yes it is important to keep reading but school work doesn't need to be done every day. The school year is long enough.

Enforced half an hour of school work is probably going to be counter productive in the long run. Its a chore by any other name.and their friends at school won't be doing it. My friend who is a primary school teacher cringes when kids tell her that they have been made to do schoolwork all through the holidays because they are not refreshed for a new year. I do agree with keeping reading but honestly, kids deserve break from their school routine. You sound very controlling.

We’re doing something sort of similar but not as fixed. They have a list of things they have to do each day, at home activities they can choose, then a bigger trip out (museum etc) once a week, grandparents once a week, and some more local activities to choose from on the other days like dog walks, pond dipping, learning to ride bikes. We’re doing the reading challenge at the library. Mine are 10 and 8.

Op did say the teens don't have to go with them but they do have to be up, do chores and schoolwork. I would probably let the schoolwork slide but everything else seems like a good idea if the kids prefer to know what they are doing and when. Two of mine liked a schedule and one just went with the flow.

Chores and homework every day? Poor kids! When are they supposed to be on vacation? My two teens have worked hard in school and now they merit to be OFF: hang out with friends and go to the beach and RELAX. That way they can disconnect from school work in order to start in September with plenty of energy. I only ask them to read minimum one book (my choice). As for chores they help out when I ask them but no schedule. Your setup made me depressed and as a teenager I would have fled.

I’ve pre warned my two children that they are very much having a schedule this holidays. It’s for their benefit but also mine so I know what is happening each day and reduce the risk of boredom bickering! Great idea 👍❤️

9am is pointlessly early for teens on holiday for the whole four weeks.

I would have hated this growing up. Can’t stand being forced to have ‘fun’

My teens all became nocturnal in the summer holidays. I just left them to it. They also made their own breakfast and plans for the day

Same. They were pretty good at making their own plans and entertaining themselves. I doubt they'd have appreciated me setting them a timetable. Good practice for their burgeoning independence.

Bin the daily schoolwork. There is no need (And you will annoy your kids. Theres no need or point in turning the summer hols into a battle). The rest sounds kinda fun - but only if they are keen.

Too regimented for the teens

My rule is if you want food after I have prepared or cooked it, you sort it out yourself and clean up after yourself.

Works well...the house doesn't get left to be a tip, the teens don't always have to work to our schedule and take some responsibility.

I wouldn't want to have to be up by 9 every day I was on holiday and appreciate my teens wouldn't want to either

I did used to do a weekly schedule when mine were very little and they loved that but it was week by week, usually one bigger day trip and then a smaller outing each day/activity at home

What ages are they all? I can only see the ‘span’ of ages
What happened to letting them entertain themselves? Are the younger ones old enough to play out together and the teens can sort themselves?? Failing that, holiday club for the younger ones at least some of the time and the teens sort themselves.
It all sounds very ‘forced fun’ to me

You are controlling.

It is up to you and your DH to keep the household running.

I’m all for kids tidying up after themselves or pitching in with chores but you and DH chose to have so many kids and they shouldn’t be punished for it.

I’m assuming you and DH will both be at work all day.
So who is going to look after the youngest ones?
And why does it mean them having to be up by 9?

If you don’t come home until after 5 then you wouldn’t even know what time they wake up.

I think this is nuts tbh. Just let them relax. Term time is a lot for kids, they need to be able to do nothing as well. Sounds more stressful your way honestly.

FWIW my day shift means me waking at 4:30am and leaving the house by 6am, so in theory me waking up at 7am would be a lie in.

But I would never set my alarm for that time unless I needed to.

If I wake up at 6am or 10am on my days off - so be it.

I don’t have young kids to take care of, the chores will be done and the whole point of having time off is to relax.

Your kids should not need to be up by 9am.

If they want to stay up late and have a few days sleeping in until late then let them.

You cannot be this controlling, else your teens are going to spiral once they get a tiny bit of freedom.

We’re a neurodivergent house (both me and the kids) and this is an absolutely necessity for us!

we try and stick to the school schedule

up, dressed and breakfasted by 9am
activity 1
snack
activity 2
lunch
activity 3

etc

otherwise dd2 especially absolutely goes to shit by week 3! It’s tiring and not for everyone but we have found it a game changer in the holidays!

we’ve also found that ‘aims rather than plans’ work too- aim to have a day out, a play date, a picnic, a walk, a swim or whatever suits you per week and slot them in as work/weather/finances/mood dictate. Structure with flexibility is key for us- good luck!

Jeez op, I don't even want to get up by 9am in the holidays, (unfortunately I have to)! My 15 you can be up by 8.30 or not til 12. They get their own breakfast and get ready. When we have something to do, they get up but otherwise, its up to them

Relax a little

Well, you're the one with six kids, relatively close in age. You've tried a more casual approach to the holidays & haven't enjoyed it, your teen gets up early anyway. What have you got to lose by trying it??

Do what you want with the little ones, but YABVVVU to try and impose this on your teens.

"Cause if they wake up late none of their chores are done, they start asking for breakfast like 3 hours after breakfast was already made, the house is messier, they aren't as happy when they oversleep either"

Why would they need to "ask for breakfast". surely even the 5 yr old can pour some cereal and milk into a dish.

Sort out the jobs that can be done at anytime / later in the day and allocate those jobs to the older ones - things like cooking the evening meal (on a rota).

Leave space for some spontaneity - what if one of their friends asks them to go somewhere with them? What if we have a rainy week or a week that is suffocatingly hot ?

"Creative Monday" ?!?! You can't be serious

You can't expect to treat your 16 yr old (and other teens) like they are 5. That is an utter nonsense.
I'd be encouraging your 16 yr old to be out looking for a job (well, I would have been a month ago), and if (s)he can't find one then getting them to volunteer somewhere, and have some experience to write on their CV.