AIBU to set a summer schedule for my kids this summer holidays?

[livingthroughchaossince2010]

I have 5 children, the oldest is 16, the youngest is 5. With the summer holidays coming up I realised that I don't have to have summer be as stressful as possible! We are going abroad for 2 weeks but we are home for the other 4 weeks. And every year I lose my mind during the summer holidays. All 5 kids being home for 6 weeks is a recipe for absolute disaster! So I am trying to set a schedule this year, hoping for the best. The schedule is:

Everyday: Everyone is awake by 9am, chores whilst breakfast is being made, clean up after breakfast, 30 minutes of school work to avoid the school slide over the summer, lunch, every evening one of the kids helps cook dinner, dinner, give the house a quick tidy, then for the younger kids it's bath then reading then bed at 9:30pm
Monday: Creative Monday - Build something, do some arts and crafts, be creative
Tuesday: Trip Tuesday - Go on a trip to the zoo, aquarium, a day trip, beach day
Wednesday: Water Wednesday - Go to the swimming pool, a splash park, see if there is any water parks, maybe turn the garden into a mini water park - if its raining then we change the plans of course
Thursday: Thinking Thursday - Library every week then we go to a museum, historical location or we go to an event that is encouraging learning
Friday: Friday fun day - Bowling, Mini golf, cinema, theatre and then we have a family movie night at home that evening
Saturday: Relax - We have no plans!
Sunday: Sunday Reset day - clean the house to have a nice clean house for the week ahead, my DH and I will plan for the week ahead and meal plan, family takeaway night

The teenagers obviously don't have to follow the day to day schedule. They have to be up by 9am, do chores and do their school work but they don't have to come with us to every location we go to during the week. This schedule is more for the younger kids benefit!

I told another mum my plans earlier this morning, she thought I was bloody mental for trying to schedule the summer holidays! Apparently the summer holidays are for relaxing and no plans but every year I go insane and this feels like an efficient way to solve the yearly summer holidays stress! My kids thrive when they have a routine.

Am I unreasonable for setting a summer schedule this summer?

Good luck getting your teens up at 9am every day! Seriously, as a teenager I would have hated that! Teenagers are still growing and need their sleep. They've worked hard all year; I think they deserve to have a lie-in during the summer holidays.

I get the sentiment of having some kind of timetable, but this sounds very full-on and, frankly, exhausting. Rest and unstructured play is just as important for children. Over-scheduling can lead to fatigue, anxiety and irritability. I think I would schedule in more 'free' days, rather than just Saturday.

Also, you haven't factored in that your younger ones might want play dates with their friends. Where would that fit in with your busy schedule?

Sounds a bit intense, but I admire your spirit. Try to relax too OP... you deserve a lie in too.

I think you're missing opportunities for the kids to choose / plan. They could take a Monday each and plan the creative activities for the day.

Why can't they take it in turns to do meal planning with as much help as they need?

Maybe worth a housework swap day - everybody does somebody else's job (you've got to know how to do them all to run a house) and maybe time to teach the younger ones some more advanced skills.

Non housework life skills are worth incorporating - telling the time, using money, crossing the road, riding a bike, swimming, using buses, using trains etc.

Also if they're into hobbies there doesn't seem to be time for eg. working on DoE, practicing dance / sports / musical instruments or even things like knitting / sewing / painting.

Time with friends is important - when can they come over / go to visit friends?

How did you spend your summer holidays, OP?
Up at 9am every day?
If so, I feel sorry for you.

Let them enjoy their holidays ffs 🤦‍♀️
I’d never inflict this on myself or my DC. We ENJOY the freedom of the holidays.

The thing is OP most people don’t have that number of children or people living in their house. I can see that you need help with keeping house with that number and some organisation.

In families with the increasingly common number of one or two children, it’s far easier to be flexible and less need for chores.

From 3 until 13 we had a charity that ran a holiday club. Usually before the DC were 13 they were off out with their mates every day. Waking teenagers up at 9 won't help them because their body clocks naturally run later.

I thought it was school holidays…….a time for children to have fun and enjoy the summer. This schedule reads as school in a different location.

I would just do what you need to do for your family and who cares what other parents say. With 5 kids there will be more focus on what works for a group then if you only have one or two kids and no one else to consider.

I got a lot of judgement from other parents the way I have planned my son's GCSE summer suggesting I was overscheduling and micromanaging him. So far my son has had a very balanced summer with plenty of downtime alone and with friends but also some experiences out of his comfort zone which he didn't really want to do but absolutely loved in the end. Meanwhile some of the other parents are now trying to organise trips to the local swimming pool for the 16 year olds in a desperate attempt to get them to leave the house. So big lesson for me: just do you and let the others roll their eyes if they wish.

You can only try .......

I'd let them all chill until after lunch, then give them something to do..
Holidays are for relaxing, kids have a routine for school

Yours were obviously close in age then.

The OP is trying to make a 16 year old do things she is planning for a 5 yr old.
Surely you can see that is just barmy ?

I have no idea how this will go but you can try it? If it doesn’t work out, then you can always give it up, it doesn’t hurt to try!

I am jealous that you can afford all those days out though, what a lovely thing to do for your kids x

But surely you can see what works for a 7 year old isn't the same as what works for a 16 year old (or, in truth, the other teens) ?

She isn't though. She said her teenagers xan do their own thing.

Sounds like my idea of hell , the best thing about summer for me is not having to get everyone up and dressed and out of the house on a schedule!!

But do whatever works for you.
9am awake dressed and doing chores and homework in the summer sounds miserable to me and I'm in my forties! So probably does to your teens too! There is a long way between up 9am and letting them bedrot til 3pm though! It could just as easily be 10:30 or 11 and still have plenty of day left!

On a separate note...why do people post an "am I unreasonable" just to disagree with everyone who says yes and just insist they are not and it needs to be this way. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Eh, your kids have their entire adult lives to be miserable doing the daily grind. Why not let them have their childhood at least?

Sounds lovely, but sod the school work off.

The school work seems a lot! My daughter has to do her A level course work over summer. I feel sorry for her but she has deadlines. Let your kids be kids and just relax 😌 but I think if you feel more relaxed with a schedule just go for it!

I think your rough plan sounds amazing- 4 kids aged toddler to teen here and I’ve actually taken a screenshot of your schedule to share with hubby & adapt for our family, as things do go crazy over summer hols! We do the homework time in the afternoon as ours all wake early and want to get straight into playing after breakfast, so that way they’re ready to sit down and do some study before lunch.

We keep trying to sit down and make a similar plan but just exhausted by evening and want to sleep!- we did brainstorm a list of ideas and prices for different activities so we do one ‘big’ paid activity a week, that keeps costs manageable. We’re also getting them involved with cooking meals in a sort of Junior Masterchef style which they really enjoy

The best thing about school holiday when I was a kid was getting up when you wanted, lazing about in pj's in front of the tv with a bowl of cereal. My mum worked mornings & she left me & my brother in bed, we got up when we felt like it, crashed out watching kids television eating cereal & any crap we wanted then shot up to get dressed when she was practically walking up the road. Holidays were time to decompress from school, no homework & the only reading done was comics & teenage magazines. Your timetable wouldn't have worked in our house.

I had a similar plan in corona times when kids were sent home. It helped keep all of us sane, it helped the kids know what to expect, and made that time seem so much nicer. Good reminder that I could look at similar for the holidays! Some kids (and families) thrive more on routine than others.

Excellent plan, but make sure it can be flexible if something unexpected crops up. Ie don’t go buying admission tickets to something way ahead of time, so that if Daisy is suddenly invited out with friends, there is no drama about her going. After all a plan is not set in stone. I hope you have a lovely summer

30 minutes of daily schoolwork in the holidays? Just no.