AIBU to set a summer schedule for my kids this summer holidays?

[livingthroughchaossince2010]

I have 5 children, the oldest is 16, the youngest is 5. With the summer holidays coming up I realised that I don't have to have summer be as stressful as possible! We are going abroad for 2 weeks but we are home for the other 4 weeks. And every year I lose my mind during the summer holidays. All 5 kids being home for 6 weeks is a recipe for absolute disaster! So I am trying to set a schedule this year, hoping for the best. The schedule is:

Everyday: Everyone is awake by 9am, chores whilst breakfast is being made, clean up after breakfast, 30 minutes of school work to avoid the school slide over the summer, lunch, every evening one of the kids helps cook dinner, dinner, give the house a quick tidy, then for the younger kids it's bath then reading then bed at 9:30pm
Monday: Creative Monday - Build something, do some arts and crafts, be creative
Tuesday: Trip Tuesday - Go on a trip to the zoo, aquarium, a day trip, beach day
Wednesday: Water Wednesday - Go to the swimming pool, a splash park, see if there is any water parks, maybe turn the garden into a mini water park - if its raining then we change the plans of course
Thursday: Thinking Thursday - Library every week then we go to a museum, historical location or we go to an event that is encouraging learning
Friday: Friday fun day - Bowling, Mini golf, cinema, theatre and then we have a family movie night at home that evening
Saturday: Relax - We have no plans!
Sunday: Sunday Reset day - clean the house to have a nice clean house for the week ahead, my DH and I will plan for the week ahead and meal plan, family takeaway night

The teenagers obviously don't have to follow the day to day schedule. They have to be up by 9am, do chores and do their school work but they don't have to come with us to every location we go to during the week. This schedule is more for the younger kids benefit!

I told another mum my plans earlier this morning, she thought I was bloody mental for trying to schedule the summer holidays! Apparently the summer holidays are for relaxing and no plans but every year I go insane and this feels like an efficient way to solve the yearly summer holidays stress! My kids thrive when they have a routine.

Am I unreasonable for setting a summer schedule this summer?

I got as far as schoolwork. Please don’t do that to your kids. A break should be a break

I think you're getting a hard time here @livingthroughchaossince2010 .

It's good for mental and physical health to have good sleep hygiene i.e. going to bed and getting up at broadly the same time everyday. 9am is fine! It's not like you're asking them to be up at the crack of dawn. They can go to bed at 1am and still get a solid 8 hours. It's absolutely fine.

Chores are good. There have been studies showing the positive benefits of chores on mental wellbeing. It's also good practise to get them done early and then have the rest of the day to yourself.

School work is good for the younger ones. For the teens I would encourage, but not insist. They're under more pressure during term times and might just want a break. I'd respect their wishes.

Having a general shape to the week is the only way through the school holidays imo so I think the activities are also a good idea. The alliterative, themed days are a bit much for me, but the basic idea of having a plan is just common sense imo.

Crack on and have a good summer. Ignore the naysayers.

I have an autistic teen who needs some structure and to know what's happening but also needs sufficient down time. I have a younger child who needs to be active ALL the time 😂

We make a list of what we all want to do well in advance and ideas of cheaper days out, more relaxed activities etc as well as the more expensive bigger days out. Then I have a week to view calendar sheet completed for each week. It has mine & DHs work plans, childcare plans, free days that we can pick from the list, days/times that they're free to make plans with friends etc. The younger child has a list of "things to do when I'm bored" and they both have chores that must be done at some point during the week, which includes some "school" work to make September a little easier. But there's enough flexibility for down time too.

If I insisted they be up at 9am every day I think I'd be the one pulling my hair out! 😂

You don't mention seeing friends. I'd have guessed play dates would feature highly with the younger ones and time with mates for the older ones.

Have any of them got club related activities? Several regular clubs DS went to had holiday clubs. He used to do a week at summer marshal arts club and holiday orchestra.

Living in your house sounds utterly exhausting. Can't they just be? And can't you loosen the reins a bit? 30 minutes of schoolwork daily during the holidays is fucking mental.

@livingthroughchaossince2010 having some structure in place for the holidays works well, well it did for me. If previous years haven’t worked out so well, then it’s at least worth giving a try.

With so many plans in place per week, you can then easily drop some as you go (so don’t buy tickets in advance) if you feel the kids are getting tired and could do with a TV day.

I would relax on the teenagers though. They could do with catching up on sleep. Secondary school is quite intense.

Good luck

All i would say is as an irish mam, 4 weeks is easy to fill. My son has 14 weeks of holidays and to top it off broke his arm 2 weeks before the hols so will be at home with me a total of 16 weeks!! I have already done 8 and 8 to go!! I would be inclined to go with the flow for the 4 weeks..some nice ideas though, water Wednesday, fun Friday etc

I think it sounds great! I’d maybe relax the wake up time for the teens on the weekends, let them sleep till 11am or at least have the option to. Gives them a bit more autonomy & is quite a blissful time as a teen getting to lie in bed a bit longer. But still keeps the week structure & reflects real life a bit more , weekends should be more relaxed

But kids need to learn to cope with boredom and find for themselves something to do. Planning every moment of their day means they will never learn how to fill an idle moment or period of time. Completely wrong thing to do.

Oh yeah and I would also lighten up on the school work thing on the weekends

Bloody hell, chill man. Poor kids 😂

Lmao gutted I read this far before I realized it was clearly a piss take.

On the off chance it wasn't (i cba with lazy parenting) why can't you take the literal 2 minutes to feed the dog, 10mins to unload the dishwasher (who loads it?) clear the table from what? 'fun' you decided on? dinner the kids cooked? dishes that wasn't loaded by a teenager? how long does it take to take a bin out and why are you to busy to do that?

That's literally 15 minutes of YOUR day to make your kids have an extra hour of theirs free. Small ones keeping you too busy? Don't have 5 kids then, your teenagers aren't your slaves because you had more kids tf.

Your teenagers should - clean up after themselves absolutely, but why they waking up early to clean the dining table and feed the dog ?!

Gosh, this sounds extremely regimented. I understand that if you have many children a routine is helpful for you, but unfair to impose it on your older DC. Also, they have a series of chores that have to be done but don't make their own breakfast?

I think flexibility is key. Give the older DC chores that can be done at any time of day. Have certain days where you have plans you expect them to join but don't schedule every day for them. Older teens especially are learning to gain independence from their families. Enforced "fun" days sounds like a recipe for resentment.

I personally love this OP. I take it you don’t work in the holidays.
Structure is good for children and you can be flexible with it - have a discussion to decide where you go or what you do. School work could be a learning based game rather than worksheets. Chorea are essential and can be made fun or done in teams. This sounds fine to me.

This all sounds so odd to me. Are they allowed a lie in if they’ve been out late? How will you feel in a year or two if your 18 year old goes out out til 4am?

I don’t understand why you said you don’t want them sleeping in until 3pm, and then switched immediately to saying they wake up at 6am and they would never dream of sleeping past 9am at the very latest. Why make it a rule then?
Im all for children of every age helping with household chores that are appropriate for whatever age/stage they are at, but it sounds like you’re running a military boot camp not a loving large family home.
As the adult i don’t see why you can’t take 10 mjnutes to load/empty the dishwasher now and then, or feed the dog. You chose to have a large family, your children should not be picking up the slack for you to the extent where they can’t behave like children.
why is your thinking so regimented and rigid unnecessarily?

I’d never have got my teenagers out of bed by 9am - probably still asleep depending on what time they were home the night before. They made their own schedule at that age.

So what?

Why on earth would you make teenagers get up at 9? They need their sleep! The time they are up for school is not natural for them and they need to rest and recover for the next school year.

Maybe not 3 pm but why not 10 or 11?

If they’re asleep they’re not causing any trouble anyway?

I have 3 kids
age 14, 10 and 7

I have “a plan” for days out and stuff because it’s more structured and my kids personally like that and we build in friends and family too

my teen sees his friends maybe while I do stuff with the younger too but ultimately I have a plan

Most of these tasks happen in the evening in my house.

The only one that seems to need to be done in the morning specifically is feeding the dog.

OP, I get 6 weeks off every summer as I am a teacher and the thought of someone setting me a schedule to prevent 'summer slide' makes me want to cry. I also think if I was one of your teenagers I would be finding a job to avoid 'Creative Monday' alone. The whole point of a holiday is to escape the get ups, following a schedule and general control imposed by another entity.

100%

My 15 year old got up at 8pm on Saturday!

towards the end of the holiday it may save your sanity.