My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

[nostyleandnoclothes]

I have a small pouch that I carry around with me everyday. It’s got a lot of medication in it (antihistamines, painkillers, stomach medicine), as well as 5 lip sticks and 4 lip liners. In total it comes to over £150 worth of stuff in a space NK small pounce (which is expensive in itself!).

I was at my mum’s on Thursday night when she complained about her having bad hay fever. I pulled out the pouch and handed it to her, and although I thought I’d put it back in my bag I must’ve left it on the side. I realised tonight it’s missing as I’ve gone through my bag ahead of work tomorrow and she’s admitted that she has thrown it away.

AIBU to say she should replace it? Both the makeup and medication she’s thrown away?

It's not exactly that you 'should' dig through the bin, but if the parent in question refused to do, that's your only option. I don't think your dad should have to.

@nostyleandnoclothes you have a stronger stomach than I do. I work in the waste industry and I couldn’t have done what you did.

Yes she should replace it.
Yes, if she’s not going to replace it, then she should be the one looking in the bin.
But she won’t do either so you either suck it up or you look yourself.

However distasteful, I’d be looking myself. If it’s no good, it’s no good, but at least you’ve tried to salvage it and save money. You never know it might guilt her into coughing up the money to replace it all.

I agree with the pp who said the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Itsthewoluff She has looked and found it. Ruined and her mum thinks it's funny.

Read the updates.

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Not necessary.

I'd be telling your mum this is NOT funny and up to her to replace. If she refuses I'd probably keep a bit of a distance until I cooled down (unless she repented in the meantime!)

If it’s really only the size of your hand, then it’s very different to the handbags that your mother leaves at your house.
You left the pouch, she cleared it one way or another. Drama over nothing.

How do you know its been in the bin for three days, could have been in there for less than 24 hours.

So the reality is, your mom is a passive-aggressive b*h. That makes more sense than anything else I've read here.

It serves you right OP for spending silly money on something as trivial as lipsticks…

bit of an undertone of that on this thread…

I don’t understand why this is such a massive pile on. (From OP’s replies)
I’m sorry you’re had your things thrown away IMHO - she should replace them and stop being bratty about it.
And if ever she leaves something at your house I’m sure your revenge will be full and creative.

Your mum and dad are freaks! OCD, obsession with appearances, enormous entitlement.

If they've got such wealth you shouldn't feel uncomfortable demanding she replace your stuff. You hardly left it there on purpose and whether it was an accident or not, she binned it and you dug through the bins! I would not have bothered.

"Mum, I feel really disappointed you won't replace my bag. I feel like you're treating it like a joke, I know you did it on accident but I saved up for ages for each piece and I cant afford to replace it all in one go right now. Do you want to make a day of shopping at Space NK to replace my bits and then I'll buy us both a nice coffee. How about Saturday?"

Or if you think flattery/minimisation would work

"Mum, here's my bank details for you to ping me over £200 so I can nip out to replace my little pouch with all my beauty bits in. You can't expect me to go on with no lipstick!!! Lol! I'm not angry, it was an accident. Let's meet soon for lunch on Sunday?"

Only you know how to respond. But I certainly wouldn't be living hand to mouth whilst they blow everything and be irresponsible. Let them buy you things if they're so impulsive! Or are they likr other ell off people and typically stingy to everyone else?

There it is !
I knew there would be context like this .
You have my sympathies OP I grew up in a similar household.
It’s cold and calculated.

I’m a bit anal about clean, especially re. things applied to my face, but honestly I’d consider binning the pouch and the cheap meds, but soaking all the makeup sticks in some weak bleach, lids on first then again lids off….
Or asking your clearly spenny parents for the money to buy them again.

That's really nasty. Op can spend her money on whatever she wants!

I'm beginning to think most of the unhinged answers saying that it serves Op right are either people paid to be rude & nasty or bots.

How dare I want moisturised lips 🫪

Just ask her or your father for the cash. To give you the money is easier than sourcing everything.

I’m so sorry OP. Of course it’s not normal or ok that she did this and then had you sorting it out! If she didn’t want to go through the bin herself then she should have offered to bloody replace it! They clearly can afford to. And now she should because it’s not salvageable.

This thread truly has gone batshit 😳

ofc it’s not normal to throw something someone left at your home in the bin and then refuse to either rescue it or replace it!

Genuinely, in what world is it abnormal to have lip products? I take pride in my appearance and that includes wearing lipstick etc

Well done for giving the bin a go at least. If it were me, it would keep me awake at night wondering if it was all still in there, absolutely fine, going to waste. Sorry it was completely unsalvageable 😢 There’s probably not much chance of your mum replacing any of it, to hazard a guess. I suppose you have unfortunately had to re-learn the lesson not to leave anything you value within her reach in future. Particularly galling since you were just being kind. 💐

I have some Charlotte Tilbury lipgloss, a couple of Plouise balms and a Dior lip stain I’d be pretty peed off about losing! What is wrong with people? It’s not immoral to have a few nice things that make you feel a bit pampered! I also shop in bargain shops so I’m no snob, but do love my bits n bobs. I have a couple of Jo Malone candles I adore but I earn the money so I’m allowed treats. As is OP x

I’m genuinely really confused why the biggest crime seems to be that I’ve dared to spend £30 on a lipstick here and there!

I'm still hanging around waiting to hear if you're going to bin something of hers in revenge...

Ha! As much as I would like to, that’d just be petty