India – loved it, but I came back feeling so violated.

[LondonLass40]

Just back from the Golden Triangle with my husband (43) and 12yr daughter. Stunning forts, incredible food ( lucky no Delhi belly 😀) amazing history is genuinely breathtaking.

But I’m struggling to process the darker side.

One afternoon in Delhi, my husband stayed at the hotel. I took my daughter to a busy market near cannaught place in broad daylight, crowded. A man walked past and grabbed my breast. Right in front of my daughter. He just kept walking. I froze. My poor girl kept asking why he touched Mummy.

Then there was the constant selfie nonsense when my husband was there and men lining up, putting their arms around me, getting too close while my husband stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

And the worst part was at the Red Fort queue. This guy kept pushing into me from behind – clearly not an accident. I turned around and shouted at him. He didn't run, didn't even look embarrassed , he just walked away ignoring me like I was invisible. I spoke to a security guard who just pretend to do something and did absolutely nothing.

I know these issues aren't isolated to India and this could happen in London too. But this was so blatant, so frequent, so relentless that I simply cannot ignore it. I've been to so many tourist destinations around the world and have never experienced harassment on this scale. It felt inescapable.

I don't know – does this only happen to Western women? I'm sure men like this do the same to Indian women too. How on earth do they deal with this every single day? I honestly don't think I'd go back.

India is consistently ranked the worst place in the world to be a woman

India was an extremely wealthy country before the British came.

India - officially the worst place in the world to be a woman(and there is stiff competition for that honour) now overtaken by Afghanistan. And that refers to women who live in India. What must it be like to be treated like this as a way of life?😡

Not been to India but visited China, Hong Kong, Thailand with no issues

Japan was worst for selfies and people touching my hair - but all young and female

Some unwanted attention in Tunisia but not awful - more creepy than scary

Flashed at and wanked on from a bridge in Paris

Bare boobs grabbed (went under my bikini) in Spain

Sexually assaulted twice in UK

There are shit men everywhere - it’s not about what you wear, it’s about power

Always told dd - stick together in
a group

Always told ds - watch out for men doing this and step in

Fewer rights than men? Fewer rights than livestock more like...

Its not just men hassling women though.

My blonde male friend had lots of requests for photos and had people throwing their baby at him for a photo.

I had a man ask for photo on behalf of his wife (the wife was stood behind him with a face that suggested that it was her wanting it but was too shy to ask)

Yes, agree, what surprises me is that anyone is surprised at this behaviour in places like India, the Middle East etc. We have been persuaded to see all cultures as equal and to let down our guard.

I wouldn't want to go to those countries but if I did go I would expect to be harassed.

Not all non-Christian countries, but always a non-Christian country.

Some of you need to speak to some Indian women when you visit. Some doctors, engineers, lawyers, journalists, female pilots...

I can assure you they go out without male chaperones, especially in the metro cities. Without abayas.

Egypt was bad, Gambia, Dubai, Tunisia and Turkey were ropey. I’ll give India a bloody miss then. Work colleague went and loved it (imagine she paid premium prices and organised tours). You were lucky your child didn’t get more attention OP, do not go out alone- not worth the risk.

This sounds more like what a toddler would say.
But I can see it was horrible anxiety and his behaviour was appalling and not minimising what happened.

That doesn't happen in London at all as far as I know so I don't know why you think that.
I'm glad nothing really bad happened and overall it was good though.

18 years ago when I was 19 I woke up on an Indian sleeper train to a man standing next to me filming me asleep. My boyfriend was in the other bunk fast asleep and oblivious.

I felt very unsafe in India and had a a friend who was violently assaulted during Holi celebrations.

I still loved the country , the scenery, nature, food, history, sites, majority of the people etc. I would go back, but I would be more careful.

Also had my boob grabbed at age 15 on a school trip to Barcelona. Absolutely horrendous but at the time didn't realise it was an assault.

Its wealthy now, whats that got to do a rape culture.

Not that I am comparing London to India, but it's happened to my DD in London on the Tube and happens quite often. Several incidents recently in Canary Wharf and Greenwich if you Google.

Quite.

I lived 12 years in London and I never, ever experienced anything like this and that’s with walking home - alone - after dark literally hundreds of times. So it’s a very odd comparison.

I walk home alone too. But it happens. My local Tube station.
www.mylondon.news/news/south-london-news/police-hunt-london-underground-creep-33379682

We have a female Japanese friend.
On the train, at work... Japanese women suffer it too.

I was in Watford uk in a pub and a man of Indian decent was filming us. Bloody disgusting

Yes, this type of thing has happened to children too. It's shocking.

In Vietnam I was frequently touched up by women! They were obsessed with my boobs.
Very intimidating and weird.
These women would shout for their friends to come have a look at me too.

My DD had her arse groped by a group of white British teens on the Tube who got off when she turned around.

Bloody disgusting. She reported it but nothing came of it.

India have told schools they have to have single sex toilets. Girls would not use unisex ones because of sexual assault risks and would rather leave school and defecate in the open (which also carries risk). Academics over there found that there were indeed rape risks related to unisex school toilets.

This rule actually came in before English schools changed their stance too and only it seems because of the Supreme Court ruling by For Women Scotland. As recent as last year, the DfE documents suggested schools could have toilets in a mixed sex environment. At least Indian authorities were actively looking at the safety of girls and school toilets.

Pretty old news

The organised tour and male guides definitely acted a buffer, I wouldn’t have travelled alone. At Red Fort the male guide got the tickets, we didn’t queue just went straight to front.
There were separate tickets and separate queues for foreign and Indian. It was 5 times price for foreigners.

Very, very rarely. That’s why it makes the news. Millions of women use public transport every day in London, not many are wanked on etc. That’s why there haven’t been cries for single sex carriages.