India – loved it, but I came back feeling so violated.

[LondonLass40]

Just back from the Golden Triangle with my husband (43) and 12yr daughter. Stunning forts, incredible food ( lucky no Delhi belly 😀) amazing history is genuinely breathtaking.

But I’m struggling to process the darker side.

One afternoon in Delhi, my husband stayed at the hotel. I took my daughter to a busy market near cannaught place in broad daylight, crowded. A man walked past and grabbed my breast. Right in front of my daughter. He just kept walking. I froze. My poor girl kept asking why he touched Mummy.

Then there was the constant selfie nonsense when my husband was there and men lining up, putting their arms around me, getting too close while my husband stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

And the worst part was at the Red Fort queue. This guy kept pushing into me from behind – clearly not an accident. I turned around and shouted at him. He didn't run, didn't even look embarrassed , he just walked away ignoring me like I was invisible. I spoke to a security guard who just pretend to do something and did absolutely nothing.

I know these issues aren't isolated to India and this could happen in London too. But this was so blatant, so frequent, so relentless that I simply cannot ignore it. I've been to so many tourist destinations around the world and have never experienced harassment on this scale. It felt inescapable.

I don't know – does this only happen to Western women? I'm sure men like this do the same to Indian women too. How on earth do they deal with this every single day? I honestly don't think I'd go back.

I’ve been. My post was from direct experience in New Delhi and many others are speaking from experience.

You post is just rude. Have you been there?

As I said previously, I've been to India numerous times, but only ever had an issue in Delhi.

And I'm blonde.

I love India, but I'm very aware, and careful - the same as I would be in any unknown place. It's a vast country, and there are great places, and shit places, great people and shit people - and often visitors don't do any research.

I'll be going to Mumbai twice in the next six months, and I'm really looking forward to it.

I have felt, and been safe, everywhere I've been in India - except Delhi. I'll never go there again.

I literally saw a man squat and shit at the side of a road in India when I went there .

Yes, it's very common.

The River Ganges is polluted and toxic for a reason.

Not from India no

From the ME and north Africa, yes.

The highest number of migrants to the UK is from India - it has significantly increased since Brexit.

On boats across the channel? This was what I was replying to.

I have a high cohort of asylum seekers who make boat crossings in my client group, none are from India or ever have been.

@GCAcademic ”I had more hassle from men during one week in Paris than I’ve had in the months I’ve spent in India.”

French men? I’d be surprised.

They don’t - I’ve been shoved out of the way by Indian men here and ogled on the tube.

Offs Do you honestly think women in saris don't get raped?

Not on boats - to work here. Because Brexit means we no longer get workers from the EU. And Indian workers often bring over their whole extended family, and they all settle here permanently, whereas before Brexit young workers from the EU often came over by themselves, and went back to their home country after a couple of years.

Look up Eve teasing. I’ve had that done to me in a public swimming pool here in UK by Indian men. Some Indian men I’ve worked with are fine, polite and respectful as you’d hope they’d be in interacting with women. The others are despicable. A friend of mine from South India said it doesn’t happen much there (I agree I’ve been to Kerala and Goa and nothing happened) but said she’d been to north and central India and had experienced this. She was very light skinned (her mum was darker skinned, dad very light skinned) and she said they didn’t care that she looked Indian and was with friends/her brother. Her brother almost got into a fight with the men who groped her and said things to her (sexual).

The post I was answering was about people coming across on boats. I said not from India

You then contradicted that. Why?

Yes, French men.

My parents came over years ago as skilled and highly educated.

Maybe it is not what a woman wears, or doesn’t wear, that is the problem.

Yes, men all over the world attack women in various ways. I suspect it is on another level with the men from cultures, and countries, that really treat women as subhuman.

About dressing ‘modestly’, it doesn’t seem to help the women of Afghanistan much to be wearing what amounts to a tent when faced with the vile treatment of their menfolk towards them. If we’re talking about cultures where female ‘modesty’ is put on a pedestal as some sort of defining virtue. So, again, I don’t think the problem lies with the victim rather than the assailant. It is very much a choice the assailant makes.

My parents experience of their first Paris trip was an attempted mugging by some "french" youths. There's a reason I use " "

Is the sari imbued with a repellent to deter these disgusting men?

😂

@BagthorpeSaga We saw a woman do that. It’s not the uk!

By channel crossing? (Also I am sure Indians have been the biggest immigrant grouo in the UK for ages. Long before Brexit.)

Did you know they were Indian? Or just South Asian looking?

There are highly skilled well educated Indians here and also the low skilled, sham visa people who just are here illegally.

Could be Pakistani or Bengali?

Racism?

What is a “French” youth and how is that different to French youths.

I got harassed by men, women and children because I was blonde and pale. I didn’t mind with the kids or women, the men were the problem. It’s disgusting.