To make awful demands of DH

[jonesonscam]

DH likes to stuff all my clothes in my drawer in a mildly aggressive manner as he doesn’t like that I sometimes leave small piles of folded clothes on top of my chest of drawers. This evening I brought my laundry up, had a shower, got my pjs on and DH came up in a huff, saw my unhung/sorted pile of laundry and started stuffing it into drawers - think drawers with clothes spilling out of the top, rolled into balls etc. I said, calmly and not unkindly ‘I haven’t got around to hanging them yet, please can you not stuff them in like that as you crease them and sometimes rip them?’

This was, apparently, V V U. ‘God I can’t do anything right today CAN I?!’ husband huffs, alluding I assume to a conversation this morning where I asked him if he could turn off his reading light after midnight in future because he had it on until 2am last night and I couldn’t get off to sleep properly (I did ask at the time and was told ‘yes I am just finishing this book’).

That too, was apparently V V U.

I 100% believe in rejection sensitivity dysphoria as a thing but this is just effing ridiculous. I feel like I can’t say ‘What the hell DH?!’ because that will make him even WORSE.

Wear an eye mask if you can’t sleep. You can’t dictate someone can’t read in bed.

Yanbu about the clothes.

YABU about the clothes. It takes minutes to hang them up and I hate a messy bedroom.

YANBU about the reading light.

Hu? She can’t dictate how long someone can read in bed? Of course there is a cut off time for lights in a shared bedroom, the one who wants to read until 2am, can read somewhere else.

About the clothes, were you genuinely about to put them away? My husband is always just about to do something… but then one week later his stuff is still all over the place.

You are not being unreasonable at all. What's the problem with a few clothes sitting on the side for a while! They aren't in his way.
And if he wants to read that late he could stay downstairs so you can sleep (which is the main function of a bedroom)

He sounds hard super unreasonable.

Get your own room
Utter bliss

He can read in bed, but he turns his lamp face out and it’s like being questioned by the gestapo. I bought him a lower lot reading light but he ‘didn’t like it’

Separate rooms if at all possible. It sounds stressful.

He sounds like an inconsiderate dick

I feel like, today at least, he is being

Exactly what I was gonna say.

100% utter bliss 😊

Reading with a light on til 2am is selfish. Go downstairs/in the lounge if you don’t want to sleep.

He should just leave your clothes alone. Is he always a neat freak?

No space 😞

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is crock of shit! It's pathologising perfectly ordinary appalling self centered behaviour. It's essentially a label of forgiveness to explain awful parenting followed by a lack of self awareness and personal responsibility

DH went through a phase of doing the same thing, in fact his nickname is Rambo because he loves ramming things into drawers/cupboards to the extent you can't fucking open them again.

So I took all of his clothes from the washing one weekend and did the same. Unironed shirts, work trousers.... all crushed into a draw with his underwear. And I went into his garage (he's obsessive about keeping it tidy) and I moved lots of stuff around and crushed into the cupboard. He couldn't find anything for weeks, literally sent him batshit crazy.

He's never done it again.

No, he has a pile of dirty stuff on the bathroom floor right now, he has just decided he doesn’t like MY clean folded clothes to be on top of our chest of drawers.

You'd have been sleeping on the sofa if you gave be jip about reading.

Yanbu about the clothes though.

The only solution to night reading, of which I do a lot, is a kindle on dark mode.

This is exactly what I do

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria….what the heck is that?

If you want to read while someone else is trying to sleep then you should go somewhere else.

Seriously ...you can expect to sleep in bed. That's a basic

Does he have ADHD?. Do you genuinely believe he has rejection sensitivity disorder?
Or is he just a selfish self centred bully?

See, I think you are both a bit unreasonable. (You less so).

Get a really good eyemask and you'll never worry about light again. I always disliked them, but have a fantastic one that is moulded to the shape of your eyes/nose.

He needs to calm down and not shove stuff away willy-nilly. Although if he didn't like the mess and wanted to put things away properly that should be fine.

He sounds like a real prince. FFS

@Fluffybuns88 Are you saying leaving the light on until 2am in a shared bedroom is something your bed mate has no say in?

I read a couple of novels per week as well as a lot of work related texts and journals but I think it smacks of main character syndrome for someone who shares a bed to read in bed until 2am using the bedside light .

There's no justification for that! If you share a bed and want to read until 2am you read in a different room or use a Kindle or similar on dark mode. Anything else is inexcusably and unnecessarily selfish.