To make awful demands of DH

[jonesonscam]

DH likes to stuff all my clothes in my drawer in a mildly aggressive manner as he doesn’t like that I sometimes leave small piles of folded clothes on top of my chest of drawers. This evening I brought my laundry up, had a shower, got my pjs on and DH came up in a huff, saw my unhung/sorted pile of laundry and started stuffing it into drawers - think drawers with clothes spilling out of the top, rolled into balls etc. I said, calmly and not unkindly ‘I haven’t got around to hanging them yet, please can you not stuff them in like that as you crease them and sometimes rip them?’

This was, apparently, V V U. ‘God I can’t do anything right today CAN I?!’ husband huffs, alluding I assume to a conversation this morning where I asked him if he could turn off his reading light after midnight in future because he had it on until 2am last night and I couldn’t get off to sleep properly (I did ask at the time and was told ‘yes I am just finishing this book’).

That too, was apparently V V U.

I 100% believe in rejection sensitivity dysphoria as a thing but this is just effing ridiculous. I feel like I can’t say ‘What the hell DH?!’ because that will make him even WORSE.

change the light bulb @jonesonscam 😉

p.s. don't tell him 🙈

In fact get your own house. Too annoying.

So he can stuff your ironed clothes into drawer, but leaves his firty clothes on the floor.
Fuck him & the horse he rode in on.
Get mad. Does he ever iron anything ? Tell him he can ask if it bothers him, but if he ever crunches up your ironed laundry again he can iron his own clothes & you will show him the same courtesy.
As for the lamp, tell him to sodding shine it his book, Tosser.

Sorry lots of typos, this made me cross.
actually I am certain this is the tip of the iceberg, sounds like a v unpleasant man

Isn’t it funny how exactly similar to your bog standard abusive man his rsd is, where everything is your fault and even when it’s their fault it becomes your fault because you mentioned it. I’m not supporting a spouse through anything where the symptoms are curiously exactly the same as plain old abuse, he needs to get himself help or leave. If it turned out to be a brain tumour I’d give him another chance but I’m pretty willing to bet my house this man doesn’t have a brain tumour (or he may well, but it’s not what’s making him behave like this. That’s the asshole syndrome, incurable.)

So other people should do what you want them to because it drives you mad? You are responsible for your own feelings you can't go around controlling others in order to manage them.

Just another aspect of human personality that has been pathologised, becoming a disorder and then a disability. Absolutely sodding ridiculous. Oh, and now used as an excuse for people who don’t like to be told no.

PDA is a disorder. But it’s normally associated with autism (sometimes ADHD too).
Ive never seen it used on its own.

YANBU. If your h is really concerned about things being tidy, he wouldn’t stuff your clothes away and leave bits hanging out, drawers open, etc.

And the reading light? he needs to get a Kindle. He’s being unfair.

and RSD??? Seems to be a stick to beat you with when you bring up a perfectly reasonable point, to make you shut up.

I’ve read all your posts now. He sounds abusive.

I’d make plans to leave.

It's not PDA (I'm pretty sure PDA cannot be diagnosed as a stand alone - maybe I'm out of date but I don't think it's an official diagnosis at all, and the diagnosis as you say would be Autism, with PDA as trait descriptors?).

The OP is talking about something else entirely - Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSA) definitely is not a diagnosis, it's a term that can be used descriptively by mental health professionals but it is not a condition. It just means someone who is extremely emotionally sensitive to criticism and perceived rejection.

I couldn't live with a man like that. You have to tell him he's bonkers..Good luck OP.

He’s tight and can do what he likes

You’re wrong and must do as he says

FFS!