AIBU to feel overwhelmed trying to get my son into sport?

[Worklifebal]

I’m feeling really overwhelmed trying to get my son into sports. He’s 7 years old and I don’t know where I’m going wrong. Everywhere I’m trying is telling me either they full or I need to email so and so but then I never get a response! I chase up but no one replies.

I’ve even asked the mums in his class about contacts for sporting classes but people are so vague and don’t really give much info, for my daughter it was so different when people would ask for example ballet I would give them the contact number of the person.

I embarrassed myself last week by taking my son along to a football class his friend mentioned. I couldn’t get hold of them by phone on the website or email so decided to go and the guy turned us away and said I was supposed to put long socks and shin pads on him, I really feel lost, I feel if he had a suitable male figure in his life things would be different but I’m trying my best and getting nowhere. Feel really tearful. I am not sporty at all and how did I not realise for football you have to wear long socks and shin pads.

I can imagine being shouted at was really upsetting, it was nice of some of the mums to come over and reassure you though. Try to go back there with the right equipment?

You sound overwhelmed, and that’s understandable. You’ve received some good advice. I hope you get sorted.

I’m sorry if this is a repeat, theres a lot of responses here so I’m sure you’ve had some good advise.
I just wanted to say, my son is 7 he’s tried a lot of sports, he’s loves football, obviously, but I’ve found Rugby is the best. Rugby clubs are much more friendly and welcoming than football for the junior section. Might be one to try out.

Football is difficult to get in to unless you start young. My DS has been playing since he was 5 (now 9) and spaces don’t come up very often. There’s more football academies popping up though where you can train, but not be in a team for matches etc. pro football academy is one such company that has places across the company.

social media is also the easiest way to find clubs with spaces. Can you crate a Facebook account just for this reason? There’s a page for example in my area where players and clubs post what spaces they have.

Football bloke sounds like an utter twat. I'm sure there would be spare kit so your lad could have had a go.

I'm a Dad & I wouldn't have thought about the shin pads or long socks either. Don't beat yourself up about it. Tho if he have shouted at me I'd have lamped him so probably best I wasn't in your shoes!

I have same age kid but girl, so I'm equally in a world I don't know much about, Ballet & gymnastics etc.

Mine has been a bit of a struggle doing sports I think are essential kid skills of swimming & cycling, bit of perseverance on both sides and she's competent with both.

She's not too keen on the boxing & unfortunately is a clash with Judo.

I consider a self defence utterly essential for girls so maybe swimming will have to get relegated now she's at an ok level.

Mines has Rainbows/Brownies. Maybe Beavers/Cubs for yours? Mine loves it & I loved cubs & scouts as a nipper

Chin up tho, it's tough being a single parent.

I have 2 really sporty teen / tweens now but at 7 they pretty much just did school sports clubs after school, and went to a Saturday morning fun athletics group. At 8 they started at a surf life saving club (big thing down here in Cornwall), and also started doing other sports they liked the look of - some they have carried on and excelled in, and others they drifted away from (even though they were competing at a regional level and on a pathway to national). The key thing is to find out what things he thinks he will enjoy and be prepared for a few false starts, as he finds his thing. Social media (Facebook) is really helpful for finding fun and friendly clubs. If he fancies rugby or athletics you can usually find rugby club contact details on their websites (for example your local town will have a rugby club and highly likely to have a junior section). With athletics, pop into the nearest leisure centres and ask there for contact details of athletics clubs. If hems dead set on football, ask on local Facebook pages for your area to get recommendations of teams with spaces .

You are not failing him, he has years ahead of him to find an activity / sport / hobby he loves!

For football, most clubs will run an introduction session for younger players / players not in teams. from there he can move into a team if he wants to. You can contact your local FA for a list of clubs. I do see a lot of advertisements of teams looking for players / sessions on facebook - so might be worth setting up a throw away account.

He will need football socks, shin pads and ideally some boots. We often pick up boots from Vinted for very cheap.

My son loved rugby, they were really inclusive and there's space on the team for all shapes and sizes. They usually do intro sessions at the beginning of September.

You might also find summer sport sessions at the local leisure centre, that might give him an idea about what he'd like.

I know that's not quite what you're asking, but one way to also help a shier child to improve his friendships is to arrange lots of playdates with different classmates so he can build connections 121 then it's easier to engage with those kids on a busier school setting. Since it's summer, you can find holiday clubs through school and that will also help him. Some are sport focused. I know many recommended martial arts, tennis etc but if shyness and friendship is why you are looking for sports, I'd recommend sticking to team sports like football, rugby, basketball. Try to book them through school from September as they must do lots of afterschool clubs like that.

Try martial arts? There’s usually plenty of clubs with spaces, also trampolining?

Cricket and rugby have much better family friendly communities in my experience.

He could try hockey ? Our club (Surrey/Hampshire border) would be so welcoming as I’m sure any hockey club would. Sometimes football can be a bit intimidating if it’s a ‘new’ sport for an older child as most will have played it since they were tiny. We get lots of kids who are new to hockey at any age and they pick it up quickly !

There's constant adverts all over our local FB page for sports clubs and activities for kids. Too many darned adverts actually!

For a child who's very shy, team sports might not be his thing anyway. Maybe try something else instead like a musical instrument, horse riding, cubs, or an after-school art club, something like that.

This time of year is when they are finishing for the summer holidays anyway, and won't begin again until the Autumn term starts.

The football coach sounds like a bit of a bully so may not be the best bet for a shy child. Might be worth looking for other football clubs.

FWIW, I had an extremely shy child. I tried to encourage clubs and outside interests, with limited success. She's now an adult and still quite shy but actually quietly contented with her life. I look back and wish I'd realised sooner that her shyness wasn't a lack of confidence but, rather, her natural introversion - and that being an introvert is ok.

Be kind to yourself, OP. It's bloody hard going it alone as a parent. Sounds like you're doing a great job.

Well I can tell you one thing OP, if someone shouted at me like that in front of my child for making a innocent mistake, I would be telling him to shove his football up his arse! If he is like that to another adult, I wouldn’t be wanting my child around him. He sounds like a complete dickhead. Probably someone whose parents kept telling him he was going to be the next David Beckham as a child when he was absolutely rubbish and now he likes to walk around thinking he is very important because he coaches a child’s football team. You see them everywhere where football is concerned! There will be other football teams with better coaches.

Theres also junior park runs, swimming, martial arts, gymnastics, beavers, tennis, rugby. It doesn’t automatically have to be football.

If you have a dance/ballet contact why not just sign him up to start dance?

My son detested football. He loved his books, puzzles and science experiments.

Now sixteen, he's developing codes and apps.

Is he keen on sports or are you pushing it because you think it’s what boys should do? My DS is the same age and has never been remotely interested in sports so he goes to Beavers.

She is looking for a male role model for her son. A man who speaks to someone like a piece of shit the first time they meet them, embarrasses them in front of other people and in general is rude and nasty, is not someone I would want my son taking notes from.

what about drama club
scouts
gymnastics

rugby was also great for my ds, much more inclusive

Exactly. There's ways of saying things. I manage a rugby team and we sometimes get girls turn up on spec wearing inappropriate kit so we cant include them in that session. I would just explain to the parents that they need boots (because ground is like the Somme) and a mouthguard, get their number to follow up with them, and invite them to stay to watch. It's not hard to be nice when someone has put themselves out of their comfort zone.

Is this the only available football club? I wouldn't be going back unless there is no other option. The coach could have suggested you both stay and watch, yelling at you is not acceptable in my book and I wouldn't want my child being around someone so lacking in empathy as to how you, and your son, might feel.

I do agree that sport is a good thing for kids to get into, as long as they want to of course. It teaches them good life lessons.

I'm really sorry the football guy shouted at you in front of other people. I'd personally consider that to be a huge warning sign that he doesn't have the right mentality to coach young people in a supportive fashion, and if that's within a club environment, that the club isn't on top on this side of things either. Are there other football clubs in the area you could try?

For long term development - if you want your son to arrive in adulthood as a versatile adult who has a good chance of picking up any sport they like and having the physical basics to enjoy it, try to include different categories of sports. This can be done over a longer time frame - not all at once. The different categories and some examples are:

• Object manipulation / hand-eye coordination (football, tennis, basketball, hockey);
• Endurance (running - parkrun is perfect for a 7 year old, cycling, swimming, rowing);
• Body control (gymnastics, martial arts, dance, parkour);
• Sliding / gliding (skateboarding, rollerskating, skiing, skating);
• Swimming (gets it own category - breath control, full body coordination, and for safety)
• Throwing, jumping, sprinting (athletics, rugby)
• Combat (judo, karate, fencing, wrestling)
• Team games (rugby, football, basketball, hockey)

Age 6-12 is a brilliant window to build the basics of good long-term movement, so you're doing a great thing for him in looking to get sport and movement as part of his life now. A mix that includes, say: parkrun; one of football / rugby / cricket / hockey; swimming; plus a bit of casual skateboarding and maybe table tennis (do you have a local park with a table he can play at with his friends?), and perhaps add / swap in a martial art in a few years' time, would make a excellent base from which he would be able to try and to enjoy other sports when he's older, as he'll have developed the basic patterns of movement which makes everything easier later on.

All sports have a national body that can direct you to local clubs. Eg for football that would would be the FA (football association). Look up the websites for the sports....For example here is England's Hockey https://www.englandhockey.co.uk/
The clubs are often run by volunteers so they don't respond in a timely way. It just needs a bit of perseverance. Emails will help and they should give guidance on what kit.
Swallow your pride and go back to football. BUT if ds is shy then it might not be the right club. Shouty twats rarely get the best out of kids. We've found that the right culture and approach in the clubs our kids went to far more important than how competitive they were

Hi OP my rather shy DD loved tennis. Is there a club near you? They often do really fun junior coaching, they will usually have spare rackets and often do the holiday clubs which are a lot of fun. Silly games to build skills. As a lone parent of many years I understand the mental load and the small things that feel like they break you but you are doing amazing.