AIBU to feel overwhelmed trying to get my son into sport?

[Worklifebal]

I’m feeling really overwhelmed trying to get my son into sports. He’s 7 years old and I don’t know where I’m going wrong. Everywhere I’m trying is telling me either they full or I need to email so and so but then I never get a response! I chase up but no one replies.

I’ve even asked the mums in his class about contacts for sporting classes but people are so vague and don’t really give much info, for my daughter it was so different when people would ask for example ballet I would give them the contact number of the person.

I embarrassed myself last week by taking my son along to a football class his friend mentioned. I couldn’t get hold of them by phone on the website or email so decided to go and the guy turned us away and said I was supposed to put long socks and shin pads on him, I really feel lost, I feel if he had a suitable male figure in his life things would be different but I’m trying my best and getting nowhere. Feel really tearful. I am not sporty at all and how did I not realise for football you have to wear long socks and shin pads.

On the local area SM pages there are always people asking where they can take their children for sports clubs. It's a good start

No need to be narky. Does he want to play football? If not don't try and make him. Not everyone likes sport but there are other ways of exercising or making friends.

Maybe he wasn't telling you off but you are being oversensitive. You have certainly reacted that way on this thread.

Don't know if it's already been answered, but yes you have to accompany children running in the Junior Parkrun and run with them. (Think it's up to age 11 you have to run with them)

the OP is talking about SPORTS, football was one of them.

No 7 year old has practiced enough different activities to be able to say they "don't like sport". It's just lazy.

see? The lack of exercise is making people bitter. You should join a sport, in real life, that would help with your anger 😂

Ok so the people jumping on my first comment obviously haven’t read my other comment apologising for misreading the OP.

My kids aren’t sporty at all and I don’t feel like I’ve failed them. The football coach sounds horrible and I wouldn’t want to go back either. Who expects anyone to buy kit before they’ve tried the sport?

That's the rule for 5ks as they have fewer marshals to supervise.
At junior events the children can run at their own pace (generally ahead of their panting parents) when they feel confident 😂

We have parents that jog along at their own pace for the fun of it.

Over time my two have built up friendships there with other regulars, plus chatting to the volunteers which is nice for social confidence.

I started volunteering when mine were 6-8 and ended up becoming a director. My older one is now "retired" and volunteers for DoE and younger one is close to 100 volunteers from setting up and run/ scanning.

Doesn't have to be anything to do with sport.

Tennis, cricket and athletics I would highly recommend. But if you want him to build extreme resilience- get him into horse riding 😂 not only will he be hopping back on the horse after falls but also horsey people are some of the toughest straight-talking people so he will definitely develop a tough skin. And when he is a teen he will be very popular with all the horsey girls 🤣

What about martial arts (they almost always have loaner suits for newcomers to use), does he like riding bikes?

I've found the less mainstream things far easier to get into and far more affordable than some of the more popular things which are paid for by the term. My 6yo does judo (£5 a go, pay as you go on the day, suit hire costs a couple of ££ after a few weeks of it being free, or the sell them for £30-40) and bmx racing (coaching is also a fiver, paid when booking on their app, hire bike/helmet/gloves is also £5 which is good as buying all your own soon adds up!)

Both the coaches are always super welcoming of newcomers, approachable and really good with the kids

Both Olympic sports, so lots of progression potential while also being solo (so you don't have to 'make the team') and especially for the BMXing - really really easy to start competing, mine did his first proper race less than a month after his intro session! 🤣

If you need any help finding a club for either drop me a PM and I'll see if I can help

I think there's a good chance you might be able to find a holiday club that would allow him to try out some sports. Two good chains are Supercamps and Camp Beaumont. Our local tennis and cricket clubs also do holiday camps based on those sports.

I'm not sporty either bit although I am musical, I was totally taken aback by some of the expectations around music theatre. You don't know what you don't know eh!

Oh and what @Anononony said! Go niche! Fencing is fun, for instance. Even as a shy teen I liked getting my aggression out and pretending I was a musketeer 😀.

The coach shouldn't have shouted at you, but he is right, children do need to wear shin pads, socks and propper boots.

It is notoriously hard to get hold of people as a lot of grassroots football clubs are ran by volunteers,but persevere and eventually someone will reply.

Now is a good time to search as the new season will start in September and clubs will be looking for players, but a lot of posts go on social media advertising for players. Can you create an account so you can join local groups , as that is where a lot of teams advertise for players.

Cricket is very inclusive too, but it is obviously only a summer sport.

I do get this OP as a non sporty mum trying to support my DS with sport- he really wanted to play cricket and has joined a local club but it’s been really hard to get information about the basics - like what kit he needs. And even when I’ve bought it it’s not always straightforward- I’ve no idea how to put on a cricket box and it’s not something the club can help with! They seem to think that we should just know…

Yes, join Facebook … this is wear most things are advertised and you can join local groups to find clubs. I’ve found that a lot of the clubs don’t use Google.

I think you are doing the right thing OP, so long as your DS definitely wants to do sport.

Our DS started in reception at the football thing that you could just turn up to. A lot of boys from his class went along and he got involved in a team with people he met there.

Cricket was also great! I was glad when he knocked swimming on the head though!!

I think boys who are into sport have an easier time socially in my experience!

If a coach is like that then I would hesitate sending your child back especially if they are shy or quieter. Football can be a tricky one to get into especially as they get older. Is there any hockey close by? That usually starts at 7. Rugby is another good fun sport for boys. Martial Arts could be good too. Other options could be Beavers? Stagecoach or similar would be good to meet friends and build confidence (if I remember reading that right?)

Do you have a local YMCA? They usually run kids football clubs and you can phone or email them directly.
Definitely recommend junior parkrun, DS found kids from his school there too.
Most people do ask on local Facebook groups for recommendations.
What about Musical Theatre if the sport thing doesn't pan out?

All Stars Cricket is nationwide. They have probably all finished for this season, but Google it and get onto email list for next year. They are brilliant.
Try going to your local swimming pool to ask about lessons.
Try the local sports centre and see what they have on.
If it is about building confidence then definitely get him into beavers, cubs and scouts.
Good luck x

Involvement in sport is absolutely crucial for all children of all ages. It has so many physical and mental benefits. I appreciate you want your son to get involved with sports to make friends but he will get so much more than "just" friendships from taking part. Given you're not sporty, and you're a single Mum (so you only have two hands to juggle life), I have to say kudos to you for pushing the sports.

It's very sad that some sports can be so cliquey. Unfortunately, in those instances, you will either have to find a different club or just rise above it. Some people are arseholes, and that won't change. It's not a reflection on you, it's entirely on them.

I'm so glad you're getting your child into sports. Whatever he ends up doing, his life will be richer for it.

Just some things worth bearing in mind - you might need to rock up at a session to find out how you go about joining but please don't expect your child to be able to join on that occasion (so don't build their hopes up). It's worth getting there 10-15 minutes ahead of time so you can catch the coach before they're embroiled. Some sports also have quite strict rules for safety reasons and coaches may need to hammer those home - don't be offended if they're direct about it, it's not a slight on you (shouting is not being direct, and was entirely out of order, unless the coach was trying to shout across a noisy pitch!).

You might find it a bit difficult to find your way, as a parent, at the beginning if you're not used to being involved in sports but it won't be long before it's all familiar to you and you'll then be more confident rocking up at different sessions.

Good luck ☺️

Don't get upset. It's hard on your own and just feeling a bit out of the loop. Something I have learned is that so many clubs especially sport are ran by parents in their spare time so websites/communication isn't great because they aren't necessarily running it like a business if that makes sense. Lots is word of mouth or social media. RE the guy shouting at football. Look into rugby. I found football to be taken so seriously by both coaches and parents even at a really small age and just found it a bit "much". My son then went on to play rugby and it just all felt a bit more chill whilst still enjoying the training, matches, tournaments etc. My son also trains at our local amateur boxing club (which was incredible for fitness). The guy who ran it ran it alongside his full time work, so granted there wasn't an all singing all dancing website, paid cash every week etc. However I then found everyone involved to be good "old fashioned" people who became an amazing support network for both me and my son knowing we didn't have a male around.

Try hockey, there are loads of teams. Google ones in your area or try the England Hockey website. Same with cricket and tennis.

Football is actually a tough one as it's quite tightly regulated and coaches need to be approved, they will be strict on stuff like shin pads for safety. It's also really popular so spaces fill up, and I've found it quite competitive (e.g. my son is not good at it so wasn't really wanted on any teams). What does he like? Maybe try another sport, places like karate clubs were super easy to just book a spot on and my son loved that, or swimming lessons. I can see why you want him to be healthy and to try these things but theres a lot more out there than football. He will also do football at school but might not do judo, karate, riding, etc etc so if you want him to spread his wings pick something like that.

Going against the grain, I would not take him back to the same football sessions as he sounds awful. They are not all dickish coaches as some have suggested, though they do exist and I wouldn't let DS play for one as this age. Our coach (DS is about to go into Under 8s) is a dad of one of the players and a lovely guy.

It is the wrong time of year though. We have one session left, one final tournament and then that's it until September. Rugby round here is even shorter - nothing from May until September. Our council (Wiltshire) does football based holiday day camps which might be worth a look?