AIBU to feel overwhelmed trying to get my son into sport?

[Worklifebal]

I’m feeling really overwhelmed trying to get my son into sports. He’s 7 years old and I don’t know where I’m going wrong. Everywhere I’m trying is telling me either they full or I need to email so and so but then I never get a response! I chase up but no one replies.

I’ve even asked the mums in his class about contacts for sporting classes but people are so vague and don’t really give much info, for my daughter it was so different when people would ask for example ballet I would give them the contact number of the person.

I embarrassed myself last week by taking my son along to a football class his friend mentioned. I couldn’t get hold of them by phone on the website or email so decided to go and the guy turned us away and said I was supposed to put long socks and shin pads on him, I really feel lost, I feel if he had a suitable male figure in his life things would be different but I’m trying my best and getting nowhere. Feel really tearful. I am not sporty at all and how did I not realise for football you have to wear long socks and shin pads.

Registration can be three months before. Look now for swimming over the winter. Maybe also something fun like trampolining.

If I wasn't getting a response, I would go half an hour before and speak with the trainers to see how to join. It is what you did with the football and if he can be there next week with the right kit sounds good - well done! Plus really don't be worried, if others have said he is like that with everyone just ignore it as long as he is okay with the kids.

The football coach was a dick, I do a bit of volunteer coaching in a couple of sports and I hope no-one at either of our clubs would treat a new parent that way.

Football (one of my kids plays) seems quite difficult to find a good fit even early on, and gets competitive quite quickly. Rugby union tends to be a bit more relaxed for the younger kids and certainly where I coach we try and be really friendly and inclusive, and lots of parents aren't very familiar with rugby so it's our role to take them on that journey too.

It's off season for sports like rugby so there may not be much going on, but cricket is going on and might be worth checking out? Generally rugby and cricket will be attached to clubs with adults teams, so the bit for kids (mini and juniors) will be part of a bigger set up, if you are trying to find contact details.

My kids have also loved things like parkrun and indoor climbing, which are really friendly and inclusive. Beavers (we didn't make it to cubs because our group folded) was great too.

Do you know other parents at school? Worth asking them what their kids are doing and enjoying, and where.

This is a bad time of year to just start, can you look to see if any clubs are running summer camps, that would be he best way to join now.

Good luck, he's very young and it will all fall into place

Firstly football coaches are like that! They are all intense so you are going to have to grow a thicker skin if your son wants to get into football.

for football, they I really need a football kit with the long socks, shin pads and boots, they aren’t allowed to play/train without shin pads on because of risk of injury: especially at 7 because they are likely training and then playing in competitive matches as well so they need to learn to tackle etc!

my sons play
football - it’s intensive and competitive now’s the time to join while they are sorting teams out for the winter league starting September: but as I say above it’s competitive and as much as they might tell you it’s all fun! They want to win and it can be harsh. My 10 year old had come off nearly crying today because they got beat and he got bollocked by the coach

cricket - love the cricket; most clubs are inclusive and at 7 the games are for fun, no score keeping, no outs etc if I was saying join a club this would be what I would advise - I also thought cricket was boring until my kids started playing and I needed to learn the rules

boxing - they do a boxing skill and circuit class twice a week and then my youngest (5) also does MMA; wresting and Maui Thai: just to give you some ideas of what else is out there

Ignore knob head type responses, this is AIBU and people are no doubt cranky in this heat 😁 I am anyway
I get you just want to get your kid into some classes, it can be hard, can't it.
Have you tried local FB groups, see if any clubs are advertising on there?
Or there's your local library if you have one, they're a great resource and will have details of local activities - or might even be putting some of their own on.
Check local sports centres too.
Does your child specifically want football? Worth looking at other clubs and stuff too if it's just to make friends.
Cubs, for example.
Just keep trying and chasing up in the meantime, as sometimes there can be waiting lists.

How good at sport are you personally?
If you're good then teach him. If you're not good I don't know why you're expecting him to be interested in or good at something you can't do yourself.

Some kids hate sport. Some like just free playing, running round using their imagination. As long as they get exercise that's all that matters.

Stop forcing things on him. Children of neither sex 'need' to be good at or interested in sport.

I mean you could get him into watching matches/games on tv or locally and that might naturally pique his interest.

But it might not and he's just not interested in that side of things. He might be more into art, science, the outdoors, music, or just having fun. He's only a little kid!

I found it really hard to get my son a place on a football team so I get it. Football is weird and can be difficult if you don’t move in football circles (which I def do not)

generally speaking though, Facebook (and possibly instagram) are the best places to find info about activities. Don’t just look at sport, drama etc can be great for confidence. Martial arts good too.

I used to run kids extra curricular activities (not sport) and only ever advertised on facebook. There will probably be a “what’s on for kids” or similar group in your area

I agree with @Phonicshaskilledmeoff .Also found the cricket and rugby clubs and parents more welcoming, especially the rugby lot.
I also think the park run for both of you would be a great idea.

OP I completely understand. As a single parent of a girl and boy myself. I found it difficult to join clubs like football and rugby etc. most kids had started young or there wasn’t a place at the club. I am confused why there is so much mockery on this thread.

That's a big reaction to a reasonable comment, OP.

Does it have to be a sporting activity? There are other sorts of things around, forest school type clubs, crafty things etc. with potentially lesspressue on having the right kit etc, if the sport is proving difficult.

What does your son like to do, what are his interests?

One of my sons has no interest in most arranged activities (he's 8). Not into team sports etc very active outdoors, so we have wonderful days in the woods or at the beach with friends, I usually do all the arranging for these and invite people along and he socialises that way, but that sort of thing is very much in my own comfort zone too.

I definitely do see things on social media and also you can use local groups to ask for suggestions which can be helpful.

I absolutely second this!
Martial arts clubs are usually well run and offer taster sessions. Two of mine enjoyed Taekwondo and went all the way to black belt which takes years. I even joined myself with my youngest and also got a black belt and I am old. Neither of them were children that you would think would flourish at a martial art - especially my eldest who was shy and quiet but they loved it.
We did Taekwondo because there was a good club locally but could equally have done Karate etc.

My youngest tried football but didn't enjoy it. I would also think outside the box and look at a climbing club at a climbing wall, rowing or fencing. My youngest does fencing now and you borrow the kit so you're not spending a huge amount. Plus weapons - always fun. Football can be hard to get into as clubs are full.

My daughter volunteered at park run and all sorts of people take part, its not a race and you may enjoy it too, run by volunteers who are all lovely here. Its normal park run on a Saturday and Junior park run on a Sunday, but you can definitely join in. Also definitely recommend scouts( or is it beavers at that age), we waited a few months on a list and my daughter made all sorts of friends m & f, they do games nights, sports, cooking, community stuff, and some camps which are a damn sight cheaper than school trips! They also always ask for parent volunteers so could be a way for you to get involved.

You sound overwhelmed with it all but most people will be welcoming and youre doing your best for your son.

I second getting in the wait list for Cubs, if your son is shy football might not be the best sport. It was great for our confident eldest but our shy youngest son enjoyed cubs much more and it’s a great chance to try a variety of activities.

I wouldn’t have known that either, am not sporty at all. Also my DD went to football training for a bit and they didn’t need long socks and shin pads unless they were playing actual games.
Is there anything on over the school holidays? There’s usually some kind of summer sport camps on, maybe try your local leisure centre or ask at the school if they know of anything?

Things like judo, karate, taekwondo tend to be inclusive too. It’s part of the sport to be respectful.

Lots of new FA rules about child safety. Shin pads are essential now even if they are doing little mini matches at the end of a session: my husband runs a club, they’ve just started saying no shin pads can’t join in at all! Because all it takes is for them to be messing about and a kid tackles and there’s a serious injury

The stables where I work do summer holiday all day camps for the kids that last a week each. I think a lot of sports probably do. Could you book him into a few different ones to see what he likes and where he makes most friends?

Why not come at this a different way.

It's almost summer holidays so sign him up for a couple of sports holiday camps. Then he can have a day or two trying different sports and can then decide what he likes. This will also save you from signing him up to a sport, paying and then finding out he doesn't like. Once you know what he likes approach the coaches or other parents to see if there is a club near you offering the sport.

There is so much out there hockey, rugby, cricket, tumbling, swimming, judo are just a few of the sports my 8yo's friends do.

DS's teacher suggested extra curricular activities to widen his social circle so OP is following this advice.

As others have said does he actually want to do sport? It all seems to be about what you think he wants. Football is a particularly bad idea for a shy boy with no proven sporting ability. In my experience the football lads tend to be very in your face and take football very seriously so if you’re no good you will be quickly shunned which will make things even worse.

Much better idea to aim for cubs, cadets or if they’re arty some sort of arts club.

Another one to suggest rugby ( and maybe cricket for summer). Rugby clubs are actively encouraged to be inclusive in terms of team selection, are not allowed to have “talent” requirements to join, can more easily absorb extra kids due to squad sizes and it’s an easier sport to slot into at any age. Fewer dickhead parents convinced their DS is the next Messi ( still some but that’s life). Just on scheduling it tends to be a Sunday rather than a Saturday sport if that makes a difference. My DS also really enjoyed indoor climbing and hockey at that age. Still plays rugby and hockey now and climbs socially with friends sometimes

Just to add, while I love Parkrun it is really not sociable in terms of meeting new people so if you go, don’t go with that objective in mind.

Maybe it’s parkrunning/juniors dependant as I found our local one super friendly when we moved and got talking to some other parents!

You really need to join Facebook, local resources from local mums and local groups are a life-saver for addresses and tips.

Football is a tough one, because some parents are VERY keen on their child becoming the next Messi, and put their name down from birth 😂

Don't be disheartened, many clubs are ran by volunteers, so they really don't have time to deal with admin and that's why they"ignore" you. Just lack of time or organisation, nothing personal.

Please tell me you don't have children with that ridiculous comment. What child does NOT practice sport? Horrible parenting if they don't.