AIBU to feel overwhelmed trying to get my son into sport?

[Worklifebal]

I’m feeling really overwhelmed trying to get my son into sports. He’s 7 years old and I don’t know where I’m going wrong. Everywhere I’m trying is telling me either they full or I need to email so and so but then I never get a response! I chase up but no one replies.

I’ve even asked the mums in his class about contacts for sporting classes but people are so vague and don’t really give much info, for my daughter it was so different when people would ask for example ballet I would give them the contact number of the person.

I embarrassed myself last week by taking my son along to a football class his friend mentioned. I couldn’t get hold of them by phone on the website or email so decided to go and the guy turned us away and said I was supposed to put long socks and shin pads on him, I really feel lost, I feel if he had a suitable male figure in his life things would be different but I’m trying my best and getting nowhere. Feel really tearful. I am not sporty at all and how did I not realise for football you have to wear long socks and shin pads.

Junior parkrun is wonderful. I volunteer at ours regularly, I get teary almost every time! You’ve got some very speedy teens at the front, but tiny tots tootling around in wellies, and everything in between. The fast teens almost all stay to cheer on/jog in with other children of all ages and abilities. It’s such a wonderful supportive atmosphere.

Thank you so much everyone. I feel so useless and I’m ashamed I was crying when the coach shouted at me. I felt I finally going something right and he will make friends but then we got told to go home! He did say we can come back so unless I find done thing else I need to swallow my pride and go back

Thank you

Predictable typical Mumsnet response. And what’s wrong with boys having a male role model? Lack of decent male role models is partly why our society has descended to level it has in this country.

Football can often be tricky if you’re not in a club very young. My son started at 4 in his club and at 7 they played in a league and could only take so many players. Then at 8, it was trials at start of season to “stay on” team to make sure that keeping up
to standard of team and all playing similar level.

Youll need to find a club accepting new players and then potentially have a couple of sessions to trial (never feels like a trial for the kids, always just like a group train with drills to see if struggle with skills or pace).

it’d be worth finding out what teams your sons friends play for and reaching out to see if they’re taking new players.

Is there not a leisure centre nearby? The swimming pool by us does a kids membership that includes swim lessons and then you can sign them up to the clubs they run as well (depending on age what there is, it's not football though at ours if that's what you want your son to do).

I think a lot is advertised on social media though, so maybe you need to sign up. No need to post but could be good for researching groups.

I wouldn’t want him in that club either, the coach sounds awful.
I found my kids clubs on local FB pages, I’ve seen a lot also through our community centre and the leisure centre too. It’s a good time to look as some kids will be aging up so there may be spaces.
neither of mine are arsed with football or martial arts. We’ve had success in parkour though which is great fun and while DC haven’t got any play date type friendships from it yet, they have a good run around with the others and chat while waiting for turns.

I’m another mum who found rugby much less full of dickheads friendlier than football. Also if you have a local climbing centre, they often do kids’ classes and groups.

My son plays football without shinpads. He just wears a football shirt, Astro trainers, football socks.

You do need to be persistent in my experience of trying to get hold of the right people to sign them up. You can always ask in advance what they need and go to a sports shop and ask to be kitted out.
at his age it’s good to do some different sports so football and something really different like climbing or athletics; so he can see what he likes best and develop different skills.

dont be put off by lack of a male role model!
people generally are badly organised imo and need prompting.

What does the bairn want to do OP? Does he want to do football?

I think in your position. I'd set up a Facebook account just to use to find these places and get the info about them you need. Just see it as another irritating app that comes in handy.

Thank you so much everyone. I feel really supported by all your messages. Sorry I haven’t responded to every message but I have read every single one. Thank you. I think the reason I’m sounding frantic is because I’m really depressed right now with life changes and I want him to join some sports so he can have friends a support network that just isn’t me. I think building resilience as one poster spoke about is very important so thank you for pointing that out.

are there sporty summer camps locally? Are you on social media I get most info about stuff like this on targeted adverts on Instagram. Do you live somewhere rural with not much choice?

Yes. Sadly you need social media.

Sure, but the coach whose team the OP wants her son in has a different policy about shin pads. Many leagues won’t let a child play a match without them so coaches insist on them being worn to all training sessions too.

You’re nowhere near failing him !!!

with my oldest I had no clue either , it’s complex stuff !

tell us where you are roughly, I ll find you football clubs lovely

FYi sometimes they build proper local football teams (they compete with other local ones on Sundays ).. but sometimes they have development programs

both super beneficial and it’s not too late for your son to join

and no you don’t t need to be on social media … if you don’t mind telling us where you are we ll help

The sports coach was rude.. are there kids from your son's class in the group? Otherwise I might think about looking elsewhere...

Where we live, getting into some clubs is quite a challenge, turning up on the right day at the start of the season to sign up but finding when, where and who to contact is not easy!

And ignore the people saying her did not start when he was a toddler, all the clubs will be full.

What does he want to do, if he is keen to start football then maybe find him a summer camp over the holidays, google the clubs in the area and keep going .. sports direct for socks, shin pads and then depending on the surface he plays on he will need either indoor, astro or grass football boots.

If he doesn't know what sport he wants to do, see if there is a multi sports camp near you.

It takes stepping outside of your comfort zone but do.. ask people who are standing around .. tell them you are new, your son is 7 years old and who should you speak to..

I have vivid memories of this for my kids... not easy.. walking along saying to my son, I know you are nervous and I don't know who / what / where.. but I am with you and we will work this out together. Honestly.. some of the clubs where quite hard, and some were lovely. Keep talking to the other parents dropping off, watching or picking up. You will find somewhere that you are both comfortable.

google won’t easily find you what you want. Local Facebook groups where you can ask for recommendations will. Can post anonymously. Or class what’s app.

Has your son expressed a preference for any sport? If he is quite shy and is thrown into a team sport he doesn't enjoy, that won't help his confidence. Maybe have a conversation with him to see what he wants to do, sport is not for everyone.

I get that, OP, but try to keep your calm about it. I had a timid mother who had never really had friends or any physical confidence, and was absolutely desperate for a sporty daughter who was the life and soul of the party. This meant she was simultaneously frantically throwing me into stuff in which I had no interest and trying to force friendships but at the same time modelling for me that she thought the world was a scary place, that sports were hard and likely to involve people laughing at you, and that other people couldn’t be trusted.

By all means find your DS out of school activities he enjoys. But what you’re modelling further him in terms of friendships, confidence etc is every bit as important.

It can be so overwhelming getting them into something! My son is 11 and I honestly really regret not getting him into a football club at that age. At the time, he wasn't massively bothered and we let him try other sports. He really wants to play now but we're struggling now to find a team for him to join, they're all established and more experienced at this stage. At the moment it feels like he's missed the boat, he did Kung Fu for four years, and is now really getting into tennis, but I so wish we'd just taken him along a few years ago.

It's a shame the coach behaved like that but it's definitely worth just getting the correct kit and taking him back next week. Is there a football fun factory franchise near you? My two both did this, too, and it was good for skill development.

I think you sound like a really great mum. Sport is important for lots of reasons so don't be put off.
One of my son's wasn't great at football and just by chance someone mentioned rugby to me. It isn't contact when they're young - just tag or touch. There are lots of different positions and generally a place in a team for all abilities.
It has been life changing for my son. He's enjoyed it so much and now does some coaching.
Sorry, all this ramble to say that football is not the only sport!

So sorry you have had a tough start with football, OP. Apologies if I have missed this information but what is DS into? Does he like football? If not, I think you might be better choosing something that plays to his strengths and interests. I can second putting his name down for cubs. Lots of things will be full but put his name down anyway.

Secondly, do you have 'mum' friends with kids his age? That can also be a really good way to make friends and to find support for you in navigating extra curricular activities. You sound like some social support would be in order. Parenting is tricky at times and is equally best approached as a group activity. You don't need to think of all the things yourself.

Thank you all. Yes he’s said he waves to do tennis and football so I’m focusing on those 2 right now. I think park run sounds so much fun! I might even do that for myself to get me out of the house

I'd say Beavers/Cubs are perfect for this, they really help build kids' confidence. A real variety of activities in a supportive atmosphere. Other things I've heard are good are kids theatre, dance camps, gymnastics, cricket etc. It definitely doesn't have to be football particularly if he's not that interested.

I would feel overwhelmed too. I’m glad my husband deals with it. I find that football is really bizarre and clicky. Also many seem to have no issue with not letting the less good players play or join in. I’m glad I don’t have footballers.

Alwasy found cricket and rugby to be better., get in touch with your cricket club to find out about junior cricket next year. Many clubs specifically run sessions for complete beginners and they get kit and a bat and ball included in the sign up. It’s called all stars for the young ones or dynamos for 8+.

Rugby clubs will be going through sign ups at the moment ready for September.