AIBU to feel overwhelmed trying to get my son into sport?

[Worklifebal]

I’m feeling really overwhelmed trying to get my son into sports. He’s 7 years old and I don’t know where I’m going wrong. Everywhere I’m trying is telling me either they full or I need to email so and so but then I never get a response! I chase up but no one replies.

I’ve even asked the mums in his class about contacts for sporting classes but people are so vague and don’t really give much info, for my daughter it was so different when people would ask for example ballet I would give them the contact number of the person.

I embarrassed myself last week by taking my son along to a football class his friend mentioned. I couldn’t get hold of them by phone on the website or email so decided to go and the guy turned us away and said I was supposed to put long socks and shin pads on him, I really feel lost, I feel if he had a suitable male figure in his life things would be different but I’m trying my best and getting nowhere. Feel really tearful. I am not sporty at all and how did I not realise for football you have to wear long socks and shin pads.

Junior Parkrun isn’t really somewhere you make friends as you turn up, run for 10 mins and then go home.
Athletics clubs are a good call though as clubs are normally very welcoming (and cheap!). Do you have one nearby OP?

Do you have a local rugby club near you OP? My son has been playing since under 7 (under 12 now) and loves it. It’s non contact when they’re little and even now, strict rules are in place. Our club is very friendly, really empathises team work and supporting each other, great coaches and parents are very encouraging (to both sides). Good for social side as well.

If he was shouting at you that's the wrong club for you. Who needs that!

Get yourself on Facebook etc, even with a very basic profile. Get on the local groups, then it is just trial and error. We have felt horribly out of our depth, the school I was at had really long hours etc and lots of extra curricular stuff, I didn't really do much out of school bar our family sport. None of the sports my kids do or have done were ones we had experience of.

Also ask at local leisure centres etc, often they either have the details or rent space to classes etc.

You can go round with him (but adults don't enter the funnel and get a result) or you can let him go round himself. Juniors are marshalled so they're always in sight of an adult. (5k parkruns on Saturday have fewer marshals so u11s need to stay in arm's length of their adult).

Pace doesn't matter, there's usually some proficient teens at the front, and 4-5 yos walking, running, pointing at things and picking up sticks at the back, and everyone else doing some combination of running, jogging and walking in between.

https://www.parkrun.org.uk/register/

If he likes football and wants to give it a go, just go back next week with shin pads and socks.

Its only a big deal if you make it one.

Im sorry you had that experience. I agree it’s not easy. Football we always found a struggle and gave up.

Rugby was a lot friendlier but I am a wuss about rugby, didn’t want ds to do it and without me actively supporting it it didnt happen.

Athletics took a good year or more on a waiting list, but once we started ds really enjoyed it until he left school. We just had to keep searching for numbers and emails and asking around.

Cricket was pretty easy once we found a club with a junior summer school, it was great for a few years (in the case of the club we chose it did go sour in the early teens but not all of them are like that). We also had to wait a while for Woodcraft Folk but I do thoroughly recommend that if you have it locally, I personally preferred it to Scouts but the latter can be good depending on the leaders.

7 is a good age to try a musical instrument if he’s considered that? Maybe something that fits into groups in the future like guitar?

Sorry I misread your OP where it said you thought things would be different if he had a male in his life and thought that’s what you were looking for.

Have you thought about cubs as an alternative? I know most are horribly oversubscribed but it could be worth investigating. Other than that FB is your friend.

We are sporty parents of sporty offspring and I agree with you OP.
Sport teaches so much: teamwork, resilience, friendship, less reliance on screens/gaming and fewer mental health issues. plus role models for boys without a father figure at home.

Persevere. Next week go along with the long socks and shin pads.

incidentally, Vinted can be your friend for kit. I was once selling a pair of football boots for a few pounds and the lady buying asked me if I happened to have a pair of football socks I could throw in as her child didn’t have any. I only sell things on Vinted to get them out of my house so was delighted to I reduced them to £1 and threw in 3 pairs of socks plus cost of postage).

Seeing as the summer holidays are coming up I would look at some holiday camps where he might be able to try a few different sports? Is his school running any holiday clubs?

My son who is nearly 6 years old does karate, that's done a lot for his confidence. He also does Junior parkrun which is great for fitness but not especially social. It's 2km run/jog/walk and you can run with him if you want but don't have to.

Oh yes I forgot that we also tried tennis and sailing. Tennis was quite fun. Tbh I pick clubs that have holiday schemes because it all helped with summer childcare…

I would definitely get a Facebook account, even if you just use it to find out about/ message groups. Lots of the kids groups local to me are mainly contactable via Facebook or Instagram. This helps to prepare too as you can see pictures/ videos of the group and what they get up to. I have shown these to my kids and said ‘have a look at this- is this something you’d fancy?’. They then have more of an idea of what they’re agreeing to try. The social media accounts will also help you as you’ll be able to see what the other kids are wearing.

Get him on the waiting list for local Cub units. He can start when he's 8, but they will have automatic feeds with kids coming up from Beavers.
Lots of different activities there so bound to be something he likes and lots of opportunities for making friends.

Yes lots of children’s sports classes and groups are on Facebook.

they often post on local Facebook groups.

I’d put that down as his issue not yours

My 7 year old son does cubs (look up details for local group online and send an email, may be a waiting list), gymnastics, stagecoach (drama lessons) and dry slope ski racing. He’s keen to try rugby next year, which is generally a bit more inclusive than football.

I agree that posting in a local Facebook group is great idea, especially if you ask for ideas of teams that actually have spaces. Martial arts, trampolining, tennis, cricket, sailing, there all sorts.

Please don’t be put off by one nasty comment, you’re just trying to do the right thing by your kid. I would try and get signed up for a couple of things, with the aim of giving them a go for a term to see if he likes them, he can always swap to something else if not, it’s often a bit of trial and error.

Get your kid immediately into martial arts and avoid all the cliquey football shite (i know some are great too, but it can feel like that). If hes not obsessed about football already just dont bother.

Mine do martial arts (judo but theyd have done any of them). It is so good. I love the ethos, atmosphere, amd he can train at home using youtube just being in his bedroom, work through the belts at his own pace.

I expect youd find a dojo very approachable and you can even mention the male role model thing, some coaches are lovely at looking out for kids.

Thank you. Sorry if I overreacted. I just feel I’m failing him as I’m useless at sports and I thought it would be do easy getting him into something but I can’t get anything right.

Right honey!! Don’t get worried so much!! Sports people can be like that.. the base message was he needs socks and shin pads right! It was very good of you to take him along. Just get the right gear and go again!

Do you have any martial arts clubs near you? My DS started kickboxing at 6 and really enjoys it.

Would recommend getting on social media as that should help you find what's on locally.

Oh yes and tae-kwon-doe! Ds got a bit fed up of having to learn all the Korean history.

Do you have a junior parkrun near you? Great way to meet other kids and parents and get some tiem
outdoors!!

Overlooking the fact that MN is 'social media' that absolutely is a problem. You are excluding yourself from a whole load of information and communication.

I'm not suggesting you download every possible app and start posting family photos and the minutiae of your life every 20 minutes. Just joining some local groups and lurking quietly in the background might give you some info about clubs and activities you haven't heard of.

Perservere but at a few sports, not just one if football isnt right dont force it else he will grow up hating sport.

It sounds like an awful experience, but I would say take it on the chin and try again next week for your DS. Try call them again maybe in the meantime time, to see if there's anything else you need to know? Sounds obvious but you need sunscreen & water to participate too.

Most sport clubs near me advertise primarily on social. Setting up and maintaining websites is a loads of work and a lot of the coaches are volunteers that don't have the time or skill set.

They also fill up fast before summer term; early spring tends to be when most open.

Tae kwan do, jiu jitsu, swimming are all worth a look too if your DS is interested.

Definitely take him back to the football with long socks and shin pads. This would be a good example to him ⚽️ especially as other parents were saying don't worry. It will be more familiar next week.