My kids keep saying I have a fat tummy

[Coldcoffeekindamorning]

DC are 6 and 4. Wore a jumpsuit today as its bloody hot and when I took DC to the toilet in a cafe, I went for a pee too. My 4 years old pipes up "Mum have you got a baby in your tummy its so fat?" And then my 6 year old echos. I say that it's not nice to ask that question and explain that women's bodies are different from children's especially once they've had children. I tell them I'm proud of my body because I grew them both and everyone body looks different.

Inside though I feel awful. My BMI is around 25 so I am a healthy weight but I do have a small pot belly. I eat healthy, I fast, I exercise but after having 2 kids and finding it very hard to exercise after birth injuries (try 2 years healing and £384884844 of physio for my last child).

I've worked so hard to get back to a size 10 and I still feel shit about myself.My OH says that I look good but kids dont lie do they? They say what they see. Not really AIBU but I do feel so deflated and shit about myself.

@Turtlestarfish please see my apology posted above

Me and my sister once made a comment about our mum’s tummy. Our dad stepped straight in with “Your mother has had THREE babies” and it was made very clear that it wasn’t ok to make remarks like this. Even at the time it was very touching how much he cared and how he wasn’t going to let anything uncomplementary be said about our mum.

If DH doesn’t step in and defend I’d shut them down with “Yes that’s where you came from, it’s rude to make remarks about people’s tummies!” Don’t feel
upset, you have lovely kids. Well worth the price of a little round tummy!

Brace yourself, they’ll likely say worse and not necessarily mean it in a horrible way. They said it, the thought was fleeting for them, but it’s stayed with you.

You clearly aren’t overweight and your bmi is fine, your DH has said you look fine! Take no notice, but I’d definitely instil in them not to comment on other people’s physical appearance because it’s rude and upsetting and they won’t like it when something gets said to them (which it will at some point).

So first of all - size 10 is not big! At all. It’s a normal size. Yes kids don’t lie but they don’t have perspective. My nephew once commented on his dad’s stomach and said something along the lines of it doesn’t look anything like his uncle (my husband). Neither are fat. The point is they don’t have perspective and if it’s different they will comment on it. I think you did the right thing by letting them know that you should not comment on people’s bodies and everybody is different. And as you said you should be proud of your body.

Have they been watching Peppa Pig?
Lots of kids go through this phase of talking about fat tummies and asking if there’s a baby in there. They are simply imitating what they’ve seen on the cartoon. It’s mentioned at least ten times an episode 🙄
Also they know it usually gets a reaction and they are trying that out sometimes.
Try not to take it personally but I’m afraid you are going to have to develop a thick skin. The stuff kids come out with about appearances can be demoralising but they’re just kids.

She did is reading hard for you?

Reading the very rude and abusive threads about Ariana Grande, for example, on MN it's only "rude" to comment on other people's body if they are the same size or bigger than yours. Anyone smaller is fair game, that's rather sad.

I'm skinny but 3 kids in and sat on the sofa in a sports bra and shorts my 4 year old sat next to me and proceeded to grab my tummy rolls
"I like that you have play doh bits on you"
Felt a million dollars 🤣

Tell them it’s because of them . They grew inside you and stretched your tummy so they could get comfy and that is why!

Can't imagine giving a shit about when my children point out my imperfections. They love me. I love me and I love my body. They're just commenting.
I think its best to just say I love my tummy the way it is because it grew you and it helps me eat yummy food. But just so you know, never comment on peoples bodies, it can be rude. Its family chat only in our house.
I think ideally youd love your body enough that a neutral kids comment shouldn't get to you.

When my son was very young, he preferred snuggling with his gran (my mum) as she was so wonderfully curvy and cosy. I was more a size 10/12, albeit I felt huge at the time, as I went up from a size 6/8 after pregnancy.

As I've said on here before on other threads, when I hit 40 I put on about 3 stone (I had no more children, it was just literally hitting 40), then lost it 2 years ago with the help of Orlistat, but have never, ever lost my overhang tummy (pannus) and I never will unless I have a tummy tuck, and I have better things to do than have one of those.

@Hadit16

who cares? It’s not their body. If a woman wants to be lean she can be irrespective of what their child wants

OP was not body shamed by a 4 and 6 year old for gods sake!!!!

glad there's still some common sense on here!

My child recently told me that they loved my tummy because it was big and comfy to lie on.

I have to laugh. To be fair I am bigger and dieting currently, but I didn’t need to hear it😂

So lie basically?

You’re unreasonable to be offended by such small children. Children are completely unfiltered. They just wanted to know if you were pregnant; you’re clearly not fat at all.

My daughter once referred to my squishy belly. It didn’t occur to me to be offended.

They are 4 and 6! Don’t take it personally. My 7 year old loves to jiggle my wobbly tummy 🙄😆

PS the word “lean” in this thread is making me feel sick. No idea why. 🤢

Same. I hate the word.

If they say you have a fat tummy, you’ve probably got a fat tummy. Get over it. It’s reality. You could do something about it if you wanted. You’re a grown adult. You don’t need to make excuses for yourself, or justify it somehow, or say they’re mean or blah blah lah. It’s reality. Live with it.

They may have started to realise babies are in the tummy and when they saw your tummy just said it. Your answer could have been. No, I did have you two in there once but there’s no baby there now. They may even think a baby is in there until it comes out as I doubt they understand the ins and outs of it yet. They’re being curious, with a safe person. Now you’ve told them they’re wrong for being curious.

This is a bit weird. Firstly, it almost blames them for the pot belly, and secondly there's going to be an awful lot of people with potbellies who haven't given birth. Me for example- I had fibroids all my life and now have a large ovarian cyst.

Better just to teach them not to comment on other people's bodies.

My BMI is too low and I work out a lot but I still have a tiny pot belly. It’s where my children (who love their coat hanger mum) grew.
It’s perfectly normal!

Id be talking about your body in a loving way. "My belly changed shape in order for my body to carry you both, I love my body because it grew you and brought you both into the world. When I look at its shape it makes me think of both of you and that makes me happy". Then I'd follow up with "we don't comment on other people's bodies as every body is different and that's okay. Bodies come in all shapes, sizes and abilities and every body is special and important just as it is. '

We have the 'everybody has a body' book which is really good.