Family mocked in group chat- was i overreacting?

[AncientWasp]

At a wedding not long ago, my parents were there as were several of my friends. Few days later I was sitting near one of my friends and she was scrolling through a chat she has with 2 of our friends. I know it was wrong to look, but I was shocked to see 'Wasp's Mum' something about the dress she was wearing and 2 laughing emojis on the comment.
It moved too quickly to read the full comment properly but it was implied they were having a laugh at whatever my Mum was wearing.
I immediately said to my friend that I did not appreciate that, this was not ok. They don't know my Mum, this wasn't some friendly banter to her face, they were mocking her behind her back.
They don't have to like what she's wearing but I found that very catty. She apologised and said no harm was meant.
I decided to drop it and move on but I am put off this friend a little bit right now. Was I overreacting?

Well it is, because it's about her mum.

I don't think she should let it go at all. it's provided her with useful information about the kind of people these 'friends' are. Better to know than to not. We're not all doormats, you know.

I doubt there's anyone who hasn't, at some point, mocked someone behind their back.

It doesn't make it right but no point lying.

So many posters pretending they've never done this.

I'm calling BS!

The idea that you can’t be offended by something just because you’ve seen it by accident is frankly bizarre

I never have.
I’m too happy with myself and life.

Why are you so unhappy with yourself/your life that you feel the need to do this?

Why not change the part that’s making you so unhappy, rather than making fun about someone else?

Not everyone is as miserable as you are.

Yeah, when I was young. Like immature teenage young. Which is what this kind of 'gang up' stuff is.

As an adult? With friends' mums? Someone I'm pretending to be nice to their face to? No, I don't. What aren't you getting about this?

i think it’s mean and completely insensitive… I bet your mum felt and looked great

This is the only post you need- first post nails it in classic mn speak.

Who the hell are they to judge? Do they all look like and dress like Vogue models?

No, why would you be overreacting by calmly standing up for your mother and then letting it go?

No not since I was about 16. And NEVER the mother of a friend of mine!

I think you're over-reacting.

It wasn't meant for you. It wasn't about you.

An in-joke amongst friends about something someone else was wearing is not a big deal, even if that someone is your mum.

It is not what people do.
Thats what twats say to convince themselves everyone's a twat like them.

You see, this kind of comment I actually find crass and unreasonable.

You have absolutely no idea at all how the OP's mum looked or felt.

Really?**

That's vile. Who the fuck does she think she is? It's only funny if both parties are laughing, and you, on your mum's side, are not.

A girl I knew from childhood used to jokingly ridicule my mum over various tiny things, even years later when we were adults. One day I just decided she was a nasty bitch and never spoke to her again.

You could give her the chance to make it right and say look this has upset me a bit, I'd like to know the full context please. If she doesn't want to explain or apologise then there's your answer.

That’s really effing mean and not nice at all. And for the record, banter is back and forth directly between two people; not bitchy comments behind someone’s back. And we don’t “all” engage in it.

And yet here you are on Mumsnet - a forum in which being asked to judge and mock people you've never met is the main draw...

Personally I'd punched her in the face...so fuck her and her shitty mates out of your life

Speak for yourself 🙄

Nonsense. If you talk behind someone's back, how can you offend them?

Yeah, I am speaking for myself.

I started the post with "I think..."

I imagine we're all speaking for ourselves on Mumsnet. That's kind of the point.

I don’t agree. While I might have a chuckle with a friend about a random stranger we don’t know and won’t ever see again, I wouldn’t dream of laughing about a friend or anyone a friend cared about, for instance their relative.
Only unkind people think that everyone behaves in this way, but they really don’t.

That’s just horrible. Hurtful for you and I hope your mum doesn’t find out.

Mean. But there's a reason listening at doors and reading other people's private messages is a bad idea and this is it.

Why is this any better?

Doesn't the random stranger have feelings and relatives?