Family mocked in group chat- was i overreacting?

[AncientWasp]

At a wedding not long ago, my parents were there as were several of my friends. Few days later I was sitting near one of my friends and she was scrolling through a chat she has with 2 of our friends. I know it was wrong to look, but I was shocked to see 'Wasp's Mum' something about the dress she was wearing and 2 laughing emojis on the comment.
It moved too quickly to read the full comment properly but it was implied they were having a laugh at whatever my Mum was wearing.
I immediately said to my friend that I did not appreciate that, this was not ok. They don't know my Mum, this wasn't some friendly banter to her face, they were mocking her behind her back.
They don't have to like what she's wearing but I found that very catty. She apologised and said no harm was meant.
I decided to drop it and move on but I am put off this friend a little bit right now. Was I overreacting?

No it isn’t common, my friends wouldn’t do this

How mean spirited and childish

Don't agree, to be honest.

Well, given the outrage frequently expressed on here at people wearing the wrong colour dress (not white as stealing bride’s thunder, not black, implies you’re mourning that the groom ditched you, not green, bad luck, not red, implies you’ve shagged the groom etc), not to mention ‘too short’, ‘too long’, ‘too casual’ etc etc, in practice I think a significant number of Mners would feel entirely justified in commenting.

It was a private conversation between two mates. Have you never said anything to a pal that could bother someone who was earwigging/reading over your shoulder?

That’s just mean. Whatever happened to ‘if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all’?

If someone thinks it’s normal banter to laugh at my mum’s expense then that friendship is gone. I’m protective of my family and wouldn’t tolerate unkindness towards them.

Some people are just plain bitches. I would ditch them tbh

Good for you OP, hopefully she will think twice before bitching behind someone’s back in the future. You did the right thing.

There's a principle with family members (that also applies to countries)
I can say bad things about my sister. No one else can. Absolutely verboten. If I rant about her, you just sit down and listen. Don't even dare nodding.

Honestly I think it might be agism. A few of my friends commented laughingly about what my mother in law wore to our wedding. I have to admit she looked eccentric. I’m not sure they would have laughed to me if my sister had worn the same outfit, though. It’s as if older people are fair game to be laughed at.
sorry this happened to you, op. Hurtful.

By mocking your mum, i'm assuming she was mocking your mum's outfit and saying it looked terrible or something and laughing at it.

That would annoy me, I'd probably let it pass, but I'd think less of the person that did it.
But then I read that your DM had actually given these two girls lifts to the wedding.. and I think they are ungrateful rude brats, I wouldn't go out of my way for either of them again.

@AncientWasp, you had your mum's back and this is the most important thing to hang on to. I am sure I have worn things and done things people have taken the piss out in the past, as have those I love. It does not mean I am going to be amenable or welcome any taking the piss if publicly confronted with that. A good reminder to people that using personal opinions to create 'harmless' entertainment/gossip can have consequences and to be more careful. I can guarantee they would not be okay if this was reversed.

Good on you for calling them out on it. They sound immature.

Nope I just couldn't be friends with someone like this, it's outright nasty. I used to have a friend like this.. bumped into her at a party recently and she made a similar nasty comment about a mutual friend. Very sharp reminder of why I walked away!

Sure, but no one said this to the OP. It was in a private chat. She only saw it because she snooped.

I would be devastated if my daughter saw that and didn’t stick up for me.
I would distance yourself while you decide if she’s the type of friend you want.

That's a deal breaker for me. She'd be gone.

Yeah thats unpleasant, I’ve never mocked anyones appearance and definitely not someone who’s helped me. I have an aunt who regularly makes “jokes” about peoples appearance and we all despise her tbh.

You can find better people than this OP

I don't think you're overreacting. I'd never mock a friends mum and I'm confident my friends wouldn't either. It's really disrespectful as well as nasty.

You've missed the point.

Not amongst my circle they're not. If anything, the older generation are respected more.

Very much speaking for yourself there. I’ve managed to get through life without mocking what other people are wearing.

Wtf, ditch. Thats just nasty

@AncientWasp, just to add. Us humans all tend to have opinions, but just because we think it, this does not mean we are right. For example, I am not at all religious but grew up within a religious family- my wonderful father was a vicar. I am pretty live and let live but certainly judge brides and guests who totally ignore the accepted and respectful dress codes for a church wedding. Even though late DF would have just been delighted that the church was playing a part in their day and functioning as a welcoming community space, the lack of understanding and respect really pisses me off. This is very much a me thing, because brides have been turning up in stapless/backless dresses with lots of boob on show for over 2 decades now 😀