Family mocked in group chat- was i overreacting?

[AncientWasp]

At a wedding not long ago, my parents were there as were several of my friends. Few days later I was sitting near one of my friends and she was scrolling through a chat she has with 2 of our friends. I know it was wrong to look, but I was shocked to see 'Wasp's Mum' something about the dress she was wearing and 2 laughing emojis on the comment.
It moved too quickly to read the full comment properly but it was implied they were having a laugh at whatever my Mum was wearing.
I immediately said to my friend that I did not appreciate that, this was not ok. They don't know my Mum, this wasn't some friendly banter to her face, they were mocking her behind her back.
They don't have to like what she's wearing but I found that very catty. She apologised and said no harm was meant.
I decided to drop it and move on but I am put off this friend a little bit right now. Was I overreacting?

People who behave in this way always trot that feeble excuse out, "oh it's just a joke" " you are too sensitive" "get a sense of humour". I was a bit of a mean girl many years ago in my teens and one day somebody really pulled me up and told me how unpleasant it was and how I could end up with no friends. It really hit home and I worked very hard to curb that nasty side of my nature. Even all these years later I still cringe at some of the things i said but at least I reflected on my behaviour and changed it. Truly grim to think of fully mature adults acting like this

It doesn't matter what she was wearing, your "friend" is a nasty bitch. I'd be really upset if someone was laughing about my mum behind her back.

Very mean. Definitely not remotely okay. Not banter (which is often problematic anyway) - could only be banter if your mum was involved and they were each winding each other up about their outfits.

Wow. What bitches. Not overreacting at all op.

OP's parents gave 38 year old "Dianne" a lift to the wedding and Dianne later posts pic of wedding and mocks OP's mum's outfit to others in a group chat.

"Grow the fuck up, Dianne" would be the message I'd send.

I’ve never mocked someone’s outfit.

I am not a bitch and I am happy in my life so I don’t feel the need to drag others down to make myself feel better.

I guess we all know what type of person you are if you think this is acceptable.

38!!! I gave up being a mean bitch when i was 19 when I realised it wasn't funny it wasn't clever and the only people it amused were other mean bitches and I didn't want to be like them anymore

Lol don’t care if it’s trashy if you insult my mum and I catch you sleep with one eye open. After they gave her a lift as well?? Cheeky cow.

I would struggle to be friends with someone I knew was making fun of my mum, but in their defence you don't know what the comment was.

At one extreme it could have been "I love Wasp's mum's dress and nearly wore the exact same one. How embarrassing would that have been for your best friend's mum to look better than me in the same dress?😂😂"

At the other extreme it could have been a mutton dressed as lamb comment. And there is a whole range in between. We just don't know and I would moderate burning the friendship entirely in case it wasn't so bad.

Also, it may not have been a conversation about your mum, but a single throw away comment by someone else that your friend actually did not agree with and did not respond to, but it's still there on her screen. Even if your friend did agree, sharing an opinion on someone's dress is not the same as making fun of them. I'm sure we've all had in-life chats where someone has said "what were they wearing?" and everyone has smiled and the conversation has moved on. I think that is different to say setting up a specific thread to tear someone's appearance apart.

So in all a long way of saying I understand 100% why you feel defensive of your mum, but i don't think you know enough to throw away a friendship.

I'm surprised by so many people asking what your mother was wearing, as if some choices deserve ridicule.

I wouldn’t want to be friends with people like that.
bitch about me , fine, but do not bitch about my mum or my children.

Nah. That’s what people say to excuse being bastards.

Well, it's what unpleasant immature people with no manners or class do. What a horrible bunch. I'd ditch - no, it's not "humour". It's not funny. It's just unpleasant and tacky.

And yeah, you don't "give stick" to someone else's mum. Particularly when she's gone out of her way to give them a lift. It's just disrespectful and nasty. Good on you for sticking up for her. Vile people.

None of us can really say that, unless we have access to all of their messages.

White
Anglo
Saxons
Protestant
I have no clue neither. Had to google. It's very American i think that's why

It's very hurtful when someone laughs at your parents. I'd probably struggle to speak to her in the future.

Exactly. Unless you regularly monitor your friends’ phones, you have no idea what they’re laughing at.

Well, you may have. "We" haven't all.

Especially not by the time we get to 38.

It's not "banter" when it's about someone else behind their back, especially not someone older than them who's done them a favour. I don't bitch about other people's relatives, esp not their mums.

"Common" isn't far off though. Yes, it is. Common as muck. And horrible.

You've never joked about someone behind their back?

Well you’re revealing yourself there.

No I don’t do ‘a bit of banter laughing at people’, esp when those people have been kind enough to drive me to the event AND they’re my friend’s mum

Not sure why you're doubling down here.

I wouldn’t be friends with them anymore

It was a private chat. Nothing to do with you. You shouldnt read other people's mail.
Let it go.

My friends and their families with other mates behind their backs? No of course I don't. It's bitchy af and immature.

I’m not sure if you’re joking and it’s gone over my head but if not then it is just OPs username.