To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

Hi OP 👋
I haven't read TFT but I have read your replies 😇
I'm afraid that I would be cooking and eating with my husband, NOT THEM.
Then asking husband to meet his pal (your friends DH) in the pub. ALONE. 🤨
I wouldn't be in a rush to invite her around any time soon.

She is a food snob. 🫩
She didn't have the balls to tell you about the tummy upset. 🤦🏻‍♀️
So instead she bitched about it behind your back... by text! 🖕
Real friends dont pull that crap. 👎
Nah. She can get her own dinner and the husbands can meet afterwards. 🍻
@Dinnertext

I was giving her the benefit of the doubt but that response! wow. Not just snobbish but as others said she bitches about you to friends. She could have bitched to her husband and be done with it. Tell her you wish she had said at the time. That you understand her need to bitch about it but that she could have done that to her hub or at least tell you . Or may be just rescind invite. Tell her this has hurt you and you need time so could you reschedule. If the DHs want they can have a boys night out

This is awful. Im
so sorry. I would rescind the invite. No need for long winded reasons. Just state “I think it’s best that we just cancel the get together”

Well she just dug her hole a lot deeper with the shop issue. What absolute rubbish, all UK supermarkets/shops have the same hygiene standards.

Well, to be fair, neither had she until you found out 😂

I’m sorry you feel so hurt OP.

Fgs what's up with people these days. Why is everyone so quick to be nasty and dismissive. It's not as though the friend hurled abuse or personal insults about her. If you're eating and drinking especially late in the evening it's absolutely normal to need some digestion help. I'd have laughed it off and I can be quite sensitive usually! Really dont think this is harsh bur dear me people need to stop being so touchy. They need some digestion tablets, so what? Are they usually good company and you all get along? Imagine letting a relationship get ruined over a gaviscon

if she did have an upset stomach last time and didn’t have the heart to say, she should’ve either 1) sucked it up in the hope it was a one off, or 2) declined the invite for food and suggested an alternative (eg drinks only).

to me the biggest offence was that she was bitching behind your back to someone else about your cooking. From the lack of context/background in the message for the intended recipient, it sounds like she’s already bitched about it before too.

that plus the lack of apology and the shop snobbery would be the end of the friendship for me

That's what I thought.

I’ve read your update. Cancel the invitation and forget about her. She’s not a friend. If your DH is pining for her OH, let them set up their own date.

She was bitching behind her back got caught out & doubled down by saying the ingredients were from her usual shop which I think people are assuming is snobbery.

And even if she had a meal which upset her once why would she refuse to eat in OP’s house again. Thats doenst makes sense.

If they are going to be arriving around 6pm, so before dinner, that will be a flying visit on the way to her friend who she had intended to send that text to. Tell her it is very generous of her to offer to stop by with some olives but no thank you

She's not a friend? What if shes a really good friend actually. Nobody gets the ither person's side on here do they. Is op having a dig that her friend shops in waitrose? Isnt that bitchy? I wouldnt want op as a friend if shes coming on here to bitch about me either... they got indigestion after a meal so what!!! I tell my mum most things and would say i got a bad tummy at so and sos house (so what?), what if she was just talking to her own mum and not exactly 'bitching' .

She wasn't bitching, she was simply saying she needed some ingestion stuff to someone. Jeez if people are cutting peolle out of their life for that what is the world coming to honestly? And if op is so dreadfully offended, has anyone heard of forgiveness/laughing something off?

I thought pepto was to settle the stomach after a few too many drinks. Like alka seltzer? Maybe your portions are over generous?

I don’t think it’s that bad and would not withdraw the invite in that basis.

Read the OP's updates.

This ^ I wouldn’t invite her even for a glass of water.
What did she mean by “ places we don’t usually shop”? She should have apologised about bitching behind your back not trying patronise you about how to shop and cook.
I wouldn’t like my DH to be friends with her DH, I suspect he is the same as her maybe just better pretending.

If it was me, I'd not bother with inviting them round. Your DH can meet his friend at the pub or something. She is a nasty piece and I would be distancing myself

I read them all before posting.

That is unforgivably rude, tell dh to meet his friend in the pub for a pint. I wouldn’t have them to my home again and I’d be slow to meet them full stop.

Totally rude . I would not have her over anymore . Not because of her food intolerance but because of the fact she was snide behind your back .

Honestly OP, only someone without an ounce of self-esteem or respect would host.

Tell your husband to make separate arrangements to meet but you will not be hosting.

Unbelievably uncouth that she didn't apologise.

She hasn't an ounce of respect for you, and if you go ahead and host, you will be showing her you have zero respect for yourself too.

I really really hope you uninvite her OP, she’s rude and a snob but most importantly she’s been slagging you off behind your back and telling people you have her food poisoning with your cheap food.

They probably had norovirus and assumed it was your cooking, but to be making fun of you behind your back is friendship ending for me

No it’s for sickness and diarrhoea

@Exoniansince1999 Yes, the use of "again" jumped out at me too.

She made it sound like it's an endurance test having to go to your house...I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again.

I'd respond to her suggestion about drinks/crisps with something like "Let's leave it" and say nothing further. She needs to be nicer to you if she wants to continue your friendship.

Double post.