To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

That's how I would read it - that she'd over eat.

Sorry, saw the update - she's an absolute bitch. She wouldn't be stepping foot my house again. I'd suggest to your husband that he and her husband go out instead.

It could be as simple as eating later than normal..

Edit ..I see whats she's now said...that's rude..sorry OP

Rude cow! I can’t believe she sent you that!

I’d be tempted to pretend I was absolutely fine with what she said, suggest that they host dinner instead and then cancel at the exact time you were supposed to arrive, after she’s gone to the trouble of preparing a 3 course meal!

She’s implied it was OP’s inferior ingredients. Hateful cow, bin her off!

Oh dear. She's not a bit nice, is she? The part where she's says it's where you buy your food from that was the probable source that is so offensive. Is this a Aldi v. Waitrose piece of snobbery?

The dozy cow could have told a social lie but chose to be rude.

you may have missed @Dinnertext's update

eta; ah! you've seen it now 😊

Yeah I saw the update...super rude .. especially if OP ate the same food...classless lady

If this is hurting you, do not be passive. send the messages you received and ask her what she was meaning

She is some level of friend if she's invited for dinner . That level, Id be up front

Plus ..if it was true why did she agree to come round for another meal? I suspect OP just caught someone being snobby and she's had to say the illness nonsense to make herself seem the victim...when in fact she is just rude and ungrateful, a disloyal gossip

If you host them again you are only giving her more ammunition to gossip about you with her other friends. No doubt ramping up the insults for full comedy effect.
If you cook again it’ll be “ oh we had to force down the food after I sent Dinnertext the message about the Pepto by mistake it was just as awful as last time and we really needed that Pepto ha ha”
if you don’t cook and let them bring crisps and olives it’ll be “ oh we had to say no to dinner, as it was so awful last time and we even had to take the snacks with us as otherwise we would have to have eaten Lidl’s special own brand crisps, can you imagine”

Who needs that shit, just enjoy a night at home yourselves eating your perfectly good food.

Wow her response to.you was incredibly rude (and snobby).

I was expecting a scenario where you cook heavily spiced food she can't tolerate well, but to suggedt your ingredients weren't fresh is below the belt.
She should at the very least have apologised.

Snobby Food Cow is talking utter bullshit. If they really had had “extremely upset stomachs” then anyone with an ounce of sense would have told you. Even in a “bit worried that DH and I have come down with a tummy bug. Really hope we haven’t passed anything on. How are you both doing?” kind of message.

Even if you did use ingredients that they are not used to, they wouldn’t have had “extremely upset stomachs”. A bit of discomfort maybe.

I would simply text back with a “I think we should postpone Saturday” and leave it there. Leave the ball in her court.

What an awful person, gossiping about you behind your back.
I would definitely not have them over. It would be the end of the friendship for me.
Trying to think up the perfect way to say this to her... this is the time when I wish I had the perfect elegant come-back. I do like @Balloonhearts suggestion.

I agree. It is an appalling response. I wouldn’t host her in any capacity again.

It is also the ‘again’, as if it’s some sort of chore.
I can’t believe she said that about buying ingredients from shops she wouldn’t buy from - what the heck does that mean? I couldn’t forgive this sort of comment.
After that I’d just say ‘I’m sorry you feel you can’t eat my food. Let’s leave it then’. I think it’s the end of your friendship.

i definitely would not host after her mistake text and follow up.Have you ever eaten at her home? regardless it's incredibly rude and i don't think i would enjoy her company's for some time.chat more with husband abiut this,he needs to align with you on this.. do not feel pressure to host if you feel hurt and it's totally understandable that your feelings are hurt...

What bullshit. Why would ingredients from not-Waitrose cause an upset stomach? Why would they not let you know they had been ill in case you all had noro virus? Why would you accept another dinner invitation from someone whose cooking previously made you ill? Why would you not apologise for upsetting a friend?

Yes, that was my point earlier. It's the AGAIN that would do it for me!

For me I would more upset that she's laughing about it with someone. I wouldn't be hosting her again.

Why on earth would you agree to hosting them? Life is too short. She is a two faced snob. You caught her making fun of you and when caught out instead of apologising she blamed where you shop and your ingredients. Take your pride out of your pocket, text her that you have thought it through and decided to postpone Saturday evening for the time being. Then ghost the bitch. She can stick her superior olives and crisps where the sun doesn't shine.

Your H needs to get himself a backbone - he sees you are both mortified and insulted and he STILL wants them round for crisps and olives?

FFS, he is an embarrassment on top of you finding out how nasty this ex-friend is

It would be a no from me. She’s been bitching about you behind your back. There’s my line right there.

Elbows? That's an unusual take on 'at arms length'

but that aside , I'd be going for a LOT further, like Mars.

I'd reply 'ok sorry Im not a mind reader, and for the record, bitching about my cooking to your other friends and joking about pepto bismal, while still accepting another invitation is not' 'being polite'. It's being two faced.

It would be a cold day in hell before I'd host them in my home again. That was such a bitch of a reply. She could easily have said "oh sorry was just joking with my friend that I overeat when I'm out - so sorry didn't mean to offend at all" She chose to be a bitch.

I'd tell dh he can certainly have them over but you won't be there.