To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

I don’t actually believe her comment for 2 reasons.

Firstly, it was written like an in joke with her friend. Who was it intended for? I doubt she told a friend you made her ill previously and expected that her friend would remember well enough for an off-hand comment to be meaningful. I think it was just a thoughtless ‘I’d rather meet up with you but can’t’ comment and that she’s lying about being ill afterwards. Especially as she claims they were both ill.

Secondly, if she’s got a sensitive digestion then she wouldn’t be happy with takeaway and all the ingredients that she wouldn’t use at home. I say this because I can’t eat Indian or Chinese takeaway. I have to make it myself. The monosodium glutamate makes me terribly ill. I’d be fine with your home cooking though.

I think she’s just got a spitefully sense of humour. She probably doesn’t think it’s a big deal. You need to decide whether you can manage a friendship with her now you know what she’s like.

But she's not a friend if she's bitching about her behind her back and looking down on what shop she buys her food in, is she ?

I don't know where you got what shop she goes to from that text. She was just saying shel need something the next day because of HER digestive issues. She didn't say oh the foods gross or that she doesn't want to go. People need to lighten up IMO.

just read the update saying she had a bad belly and didn't want to say anything.

sounds like theyr not close enough to be honest but still I really wouldn't be making a mountain out of a molehill if I actually like someone I wouldn't particularly care.

I once did a BBQ for a load of friends who were so bloody fussy they only ate salad and nibbles lmao more meat for me 😂

Exactly this. I couldn't get upset that my friend said this lol I'd really not care.

Yes, because her husband said that there is only one tv in the pub and it is difficult to watch the match.

If the husbands can't find anywhere to watch it, they should just watch it at ex-friend's house

Ah didums. Does the friend not have a TV then?

… and this means you are saying that the Op should suck up an awkward evening with rude and unappreciative guests, rather than he go through the inconvenience of using a pub where he might not get a brilliant view of the tv? If he goes early and gets a good table, he’ll be fine. Other men all over the country (the world even) are having to make do with crappy pubs and smaller than ideal TV screens.

Telling. It's because his wife is horrible about other women behind their back!

What sort of nonsense is that?

Most pubs have a huge humongous TV somewhere so people can watch sporting fixtures. Some even have a separate lounge so that the guys can sit down and get all excited watching 22 men kick a bag of wind around...

As a sufferer of IBS spicy food and alcohol make me need the pepto, maybe its just that. Ask her

Can we not, please. Hundreds of thousands of women in this country are football fans, myself included. Note nobody is slagging off Wimbledon saying it's just 2 women grunting and smacking a little ball over a net.

Probably squirming away then, and trying to some up with a probable excuse 🫣😆

@ConverselyAttired Note nobody is slagging off Wimbledon saying it's just 2 women grunting and smacking a little ball over a net.

I would say that ^ - because I hate sport, but I take your point.

The 'friend' is trying to brazen it out and rugsweep, hoping to brush past it all as quickly as possible without acknowledging her fault or apologising. The fact is, even if this were a huge misunderstanding / storm in a teacup, the decent thing to do would be to say, I did not mean to offend and I apologise unreservedly that I did offend and hurt you. Just drop the rope OP. Your limp lettuce husband is welcome to carry on his bromance, but you are not obligated to be fake friends with the wife, or cook or entertain them or spend time with her in any way.

Why should she apologise. Both she and her husband got sick from eating your food, they were both polite enough not to mention it to you. She made a soft joke about it to another friend of hers. What is the big deal. She made no nasty comment about you. You've been to her house and enjoyed yourself. Why would you make a big drama out of this.

OP and her husband did not get sick, so it is unlikely it was from that meal but something they ate earlier in the day. Do catch up.

She sounds rude but your husband is also not helping. Does he often dismiss your feelings as some little women problem, as long as it doesn't get in the way of the obviously important football? He's a dick as well

The OP outlined in a post that the friend and the friend's husband got sick from the food they ate in her house. We have no idea if this is true or not, but the friend believes that is the cause of it. And so what. It's not the end of the world.

No, she outlined that the woman SAID they got sick after eating at the house. She also outlined the fact that she and her own husband did not. Really, this point is getting super boring.

Bet the pasta is the same anyway. Just different packaging.

Bit baffling to me that people can see a thread has nearly 40 pages, yet still just reply to the opening post without considering there might have been - and most probably have been - updates!

I doubt she would accept an invitation to eat at yours if your food was so bad she needs medication

do you have a history of food poisoning?
does she have bad guts after a big meal ?

Presumably she is a close friend hence the invitation so id welcome her warmly , give her a nice meal snd give her the pepto as a going home gift

either she will look embarrassed snd squirm ( if she is being a bitch ) or she will say “ oh thanks i suffer really badly with reflux ! Thanks. !

don't needlessly throw away a friendship on a misunderstanding

No you’re wrong!

Aldi and Lidl pasta is totally different to naice Waitrose pasta, didn’t you know?

Or so good snobs would have you believe!

It is odd to not even bother to check the OP’s posts if nothing else.

Anyone ever wish that you could edit to put a huge header on the title page saying “READ THE OP’s UPDATES BEFORE REPLYING!”???

FFS PEOPLE!