To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

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It's for nausea, heart burn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrheeeaaaa

Definitely cancel after the clarfication. I'd say "Probably best we cancel then. Wouldn't want to make you ill." And leave it at that. Friendship over. The "ingredients from places we wouldn't shop" bit is taking the absolute piss.

"She served me beef from Tesco, Margery. Can you imagine?"

I would definitely cancel. She’s talking about you behind your back and that’s unforgivable.

Sorry OP she sounds truly awful - how bloody rude of her - don’t host her - have a night out with your DH

You sound lovely- served a 3 course meal and made effort - out of interest has she ever hosted you and if so what did she make ?

Fuck that

You're either in or out.

Just say that's it's best we leave it.

I agree with this now. She reckons she got ill because you didn't shop at a posh enough supermarket??! And chose to explain this to you instead of glossing over her faux pas.

Bloody hell. She's no friend.

... oh, hang on. You didn't source the ingredients from dumpster diving, did you? Out the back of a non-posh supermarket 😂

She thinks she's "Too polite to mention?" 🤣
She wasn't worried about being polite when she was gossiping by telling people your cooking gave her diarrhea!

I wouldn't bother dis-inviting, just don't speak to her any further. Doesn't seem like she's still going to turn up.

"Ingredients from places we wouldn't shop" - this comment would be relationship ending for me. I would have a family emergency come up that meant I had to cancel and then block and ignore her ever after. No need for a confrontation about it. She knows what she did.

The way I would be pouring her a big slug of pepto into a wine glass with dinner.

Incredibly rude, and her follow-up reply is worse. What a classless harpy. Uninvite!

I hope she is squirming. Please ditch her, and your husband too is an asshole for expecting you to accept it

Your husband is ridiculous for expecting you to host after this. Is he that lacking in friends? She’s even said she doesn’t want dinner and didn’t apologise.

This. She is a back stabbing ungrateful person. This reminds me why I no longer have any friends.

Food from places she doesnt normally shop?

I’ve heard about this - it’s a real problem with unusual side effects. You know when you visit a country abroad and you’re warned not to drink the water, so you have to avoid salads and ice cream etc because tap water could have been used? It’s like that but only happens with cheap supermarket food.

So if for example you serve an Aldi chicken rather than corn-fed, organic chickens from your local farm shop, within 24 hours your guests will develop an insatiable urge to start scouring Temu for polyester tracksuits. Next week she’ll be sending Tarquin to school with Red Bull in his water bottle.

She’s just pretending that it gave her the shits because it’s less embarrassing.

Also, if she deigned to grace me with her presence, carrying her precious kettle chips and olives, I’d stand on my porch pelting her with Lidl branded cheesy wotsits until she fucked off.

So funny, I would have never taken thst as a negative. I suffer with acid reflux so it’s standard to need it after a heavy meal, I’d assume I’m feeding them well and wouldn’t even reply.

This. Adds to her snideness. DARVO’ing the OP

On reflection after reading your other posts, it clearly was a negative comment. It’s hurtful. I think it’s best to have them over and try to laugh it off to avoid awkwardness - but she would forever be kept at a distance.

If I were you I'd probably go out for dinner and leave your husband to entertain them, since he's still keen.

She is a fucking snobby horror show OP, and she's laughing about you to others behind your back.

'Actually think its best we leave it'

To all the people claiming that it's a medical condition - did you read the update?!!! 😆

The woman is a horrific snob

I love Waitrose but would never think you are more likely to get food poisoning if you buy food at Tesco’s! It’s ridiculous, snobby and she’s being really rude. I’m surprised your husband isn’t furious on your behalf.

One thing that occurs (and obviously doesn’t excuse her behaviour) is I have been eating far fewer carbs lately in a rather lame attempt to lose a few pounds. But I went to someone’s house and they did a pasta dish as well as pudding. Normally I’d be fine with that but I think restricting carbs and then having a carb-laden meal actually made me feel quite ill that night (stomach pains and nausea). Point being there would be nothing wrong with your cooking but the ‘friend’ may eat different kinds of food?

I’d be tempted to cancel TBH as I don’t think you’d enjoy it much anyway so what’s the point.

I get heartburn/acid reflux really badly some days, especially if the food I have eaten is spicy, rich, or I’ve eaten later than usual. I can also get it after I’ve drank alcohol as well. It’s not necessarily an insult about your food. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Just ask her what she meant by it and tell her that you would hate to think she doesn’t enjoy your food when she comes round as you want her to enjoy it, so can she let you know what she likes to eat if the food is the problem? Just to see what she says. If she doesn’t like your cooking, she’s more likely to be honest about it if you are nice about how you ask.

Edit, just read your update and yeah, stop inviting her or making an effort. Just say that you’re sorry they were unwell but you’d have preferred they had mentioned it and because they don’t feel like your offerings match their expectations despite you making an effort, it’s probably best they don’t eat at your house again.

She's rude to have shared her upset tummy news with others.

She is not an friend, and frankly I wouldn’t want her in my house again. She’s shown her true colours and I’d act accordingly.