To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

So, what's her thinking here, given you and your partner didn't get ill after your meal? That you've got different microbiomes from purchasing food at Lidl or Asda?

Honestly, I'd be tempted to just tell her to fuck off. Did it never occur to her that they both had picked up a bug somewhere?

The guest has made the situation awkward and uncomfortable, not the Op.

Declining an invitation with the suggestion that the other host's food requires medicating is rude. There was no need to include any reference to it. "Sorry I'm busy" would have sufficed.

Following it up with a comment about the ingredients is just plain poor behaviour.

Why on earth would the Op would want to host someone she knows will talk negatively about her hosting to random friends?

@Firegoddess Do you work for Env Health?

Do you know for sure that the STBX friend was "poisoned" by OP?

You have no idea what food was served, where it was purchased or stored, how it was cooked - and neither do I.

BUT

It's odd that OP and her DH had no symptoms, and that OP only found out about this terrible illness via a random third party and her not so much of a friend didn't call to see if OP and her DH were ill, too.

Nothing suspicious here at all.

I expect they had a stomach bug caught from somewhere completely different. Pasta fom Aldi is basically no different from that at Waittose. Shes not only rude but a bit stupid. She could have turned that comment into a compliment by saying that your food is so lovely that she always over does it. Instead she chose to be insulting.
Let the men continue their friendship but I'd leave her well alone.

What a pair of spineless twats the blokes are! If you're married to a snobby bitch you have to take the consequences. And if your wife is hurt by said snobby bitch then you'd better back her up.
Can't they watch the footy at their house or is that too common?

Grow up, if two women want an argument and some drama, it's disturbing to demand two friends not part of it have to act like school kids and "take sides". They are adults, get over it.

Oh yes, because it's very grown up to make bitchy remarks about someone's cooking behind their back.

Glad you've cancelled.

Your husband can go to their house with his cheap beer to watch football. Fine if he wants the blokes to stay out of it but bringing suburban snob's husband into your house on the very day scheduled for the rudely rejected dinner would be completely tone deaf and NOT staying out of it as far as OP's recently hurt feelings are concerned.

Imagine if snob wife decides to trot along with him tittering about how it's "safe" because she knows it's going to be a takeaway. OP might end up walloping her with a pepto bottle.

Possibly at first but the so called friend's reply was plain nasty. I take it you did t read the full thread?

A rude, snobby bitch who snarks behind people's backs.

I get bad guts from rich food, spicy food, cheesy food, and I've had some utterly delicious and gorgeous dinners out or meals at homes where I've had a bad belly because that's my body and it's not a comment on anyone's food.

I'd check in with what she needs the pepto bismal for before jumping to conclusions or taking offence.

Absolutely bang on.

let them sort themselves out.

drop the rope.

and tell your H that he needs to be a lot less casual about situations where people are put and out rude to you. He doesn’t have to come to blows, but the LEAST he can do is reiterate to his mate that you are very offended by her behaviour and lack of apology and won’t be inviting them over again.

What a horrible way to treat a friend. Her and her DH were unwell but didn’t mention it even though you may have all been unfortunate enough to be poisoned or something. Instead she bitched about you to someone else, more than once (the text obviously wasn’t the first mention). And then she has the cheek to blame it on shops she wouldn’t go to (meaning what, cheaper, local?)

I wouldn’t be having her in the house again. Save your efforts for people who deserve it.

Have you read all of OP’s comments? This thread has moved on somewhat from that…

She was bad mouthing you to at least one other friend.

I think your reply back needs to be “you didn’t want to mention it to me but you were happy to mention to others. Invitation withdrawn”.

And your husband needs to figure out where his loyalties lie.

I’ve got a bit of respect for myself: I’m not going to be mocked, slagged off and then invite them in to my home and serve them a take away

That. If the men want to stay out of it, then that is what they should be doing. Not arranging for all for of you to still be in in your house.

I'd be furious that he didn't discuss this first, and suggest that they went to the pub.

I'd read as she suspects she'll eat too much as someone else is doing the cooking, unless she has form for being massively two-faced. I've said things like that. I have a friend who is an excellent cook and I always over-indulge.

Read. The Full. Thread.

This.

Don't go through DH, he is going to organise this as he pleases despite your objections. "The women can sort it out" is very dismissive. Y

Your Friend didn't just not apologise she doubled down.
It's not likely that she will be any nicer to you OP if you do agree to this.
It will be three against one and very uncomfortable and awkward.

I can't imagine having to sit making small talk with her whilst the men are glued to the match, and whilst eating a takeaway with someone who has made comments behind my back...

If it goes to penalties and extra time - it could be a long evening.

The football at your house is a terrible idea. Because instead of four-way conversation, it'll be the men focused on the football and you'll be left having to make horribly awkward conversation just with your 'friend' @Dinnertext

The things people get offended by 🙄 If a mate accident text me this id let her know asap and have a laugh with them about it.

Have her over still and make something really bland and unintetesting. A salad maybe, then fruit for dessert?

Then when she's finished say to her, at least you won't need any Pepto Bismol tomorrow.

Then never invite her again.

Why can’t they host? Why does it have to be at yours? Seems the perfect solution, then you can stay home if you want.

too true