To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

Eating a takeaway will be another insult to your face!

Let your husband go to theirs or a pub to watch the match.

I second that your DH is a twat. He should be having your back, not undermining you.

I'd be telling 'D'H that he and his best buddy can watch the match together - at the pub. Or anywhere really, just not under your roof.

" He says they are both ‘staying out of any drama and it’s for the women to sort’ and it won’t impact how they get along."
He is not staying out of the drama, he is ramping it up. Big time. Alongside demonstrating a total disrespect for you.

Life is too short to hold grudges.

The men are doing the right thing.

The women are old enough to sort our their own problems.

Life is too short to hold grudges.

The men are doing the right thing.

The women are old enough to sort our their own problems.

Send her a message back & tell her that it’s not your fault that she can’t stop guzzling all the free food & wine like a pig , maybe then she can learn to control herself & the greedy bugger won’t be needing the dreaded PB x

No it isn't. It has nothing to do with the men. They are being sensible about it.

There is enough misery in the world without creating more.

so It’s fully on op that the twats are saying they got food poisoning at their house? It’s a “woman’s problem” ?!

Really? That is so childish.

Just forgive and forget like the men. Life is too short.

Hmmm @Dinnertext I'm not sure that your DH has his priorities right here. You should be his priority and supporting you in your decision is not anything to do with drama or "women sorting it out" it is standing beside you metaphorically speaking and not putting his mate first. I'm not sure that would sit at all well with me.

The husbands can go and watch football in the pub. I wouldn't be having her husband in my house after how appallingly rude she / they've been.

Your husband doesn't seem to give a shit that this woman has been a bitch to and about you?

DH is a drip! How is he not annoyed about how you have been treated? He and his pal can go to the pub and watch it there.

I have a slightly different take on it.

I would tell DH he is, of course, welcome to watch the match with her DH BUT ask him if they could go to the pub instead (if you don't want them to watch it at yours, it wouldn't bother me as long as SHE doesn't come & they didn't make me feel unwelcome in my own home!). When I was younger we had some group friendship shenanigans & sometimes it ended up with only 1 partner being involved in the group.

it is up to your DH to make it abundantly clear that SHE is not welcome in YOUR home (& had better not be invited to the pub leaving you out). DH can stil socialise with her DH AND have your back!

The men have got nothing TO forgive and forget. None of this is any skin off their nose!

He can see his mate at the pub they wouldn't be setting foot in my house

I don't think this is a comment on your food at all. I think this is a comment on middle-age reflux, the sad affliction that hits most people after the age of 35 whenever they have a larger meal or wine. There's nothing negative against you or your food in that comment.

Indeed. In these shoes, whilst my DH may not want to let a friendship (or the opportunity to watch the footie) go completely, he would not be inviting them to our home out of respect for me. It would be boys trip to the pub.

Pls read the OP’s updates. It was an insult.

I’ve mentioned the pub. There is only one left in our village and in his words it is crap for sport with only one TV and they’d have had to book a good table by now so have no chance. Reality is he probably doesn’t want to pay the prices in there when he can get cheap beer in the supermarket.

You've done nothing wrong OP and yes, your H is a disloyal twat. He needs to make his own arrangements with the diarrhoeahusband and learn some loyalty. He's an embarrassment.

Then tell him to suggest that he goes to their house and watches it at their place?

Wifey can provide her upmarket snacks and you can have a quiet night in and treat yourself to a pamper session with the money you’ll have saved not catering for them?

I think the only reasonable answer to that is 'tough tit'.

@Dinnertext well he can take his supermarket beer to their house then! Why do you have to offer up your house to people who have judged you and your food and found it so not to their liking, they have declined to eat with you!!!!!!

That’s pretty awful of her to joke about it with another friend! I’d tell her you’ve made
other plans now and the husbands are watching foootie so catch up another time

Well they think your house gives them the craps so not much different.
Your husband should have your back.

Surely not the low cost supermarket? Won’t that make her hubby poorly….