To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

Ooooffff. Best reply I can think of to that:

"I see. When in a hole, stop digging. All the best."

OP has said that she doesn’t drink when she is round for dinner.

Therefore, why would this ‘intended guest’ suggest drinks only, instead of a meal ?

The "fuck that shit" claxon is sounding loud and clear. Snotty cow implying that your inferior choice of supermarket is what made her ill!! She's shown her true colours by not even apologising - I can't behave how hard faced that is.

My suggestions in order of choice...

1. You withdraw the invite. You can do this angrily or butter wouldn't melt passive aggressively. Your DH's can spend time together if their own accord.
2. You still host, but they pay for, and collect on their way, a takeaway for you all. Suggest the most upmarket one you can find.
3. You still host, but cook something gloriously basic like ham, egg and chips. And leave the budget wrappers or carrier bags out on the counter in a very prominent position.

So tempting to respond: "Good news! You CAN do that Saturday thing now."
Don't think I would do it though.

There are other things in the balance for me. I've been to a lunch (for 3) where a large joint of meat (sized for about 6 or more) was cooked and it tasted delicious at the time, but did result in a bad stomach for 24 hours afterwards, and a much lower tolerance for the same food to the point that I try to avoid it now. Would not have dreamed of making further enquiries about it - although I guess that if I was invited again for a roast dinner by the same person, I would now have to say up front that I couldn't eat X any more.

OP meant the friend doesn't drink alcohol, not that she doesn't imbibe any liquids whatsoever. You can go to a friend's place and drink soft drinks while the rest have a glass of wine or something, I do it all the time, I'm not going to stop others drinking because I don't drink.

Saying that, in this specific instance I'd be telling the friend to do one with her "drinks, and we'll bring the snacks because we're making a point that we don't trust any food you serve us".

Bet they didn't even have upset stomachs.

The lack of an apology is just plain rude. I would definitely bin off the Saturday invitation, OP.

I'd screenshot it and send with the message 'Did you mean for me to see this?' then leave the ball in her court. As a pp said she might have meant she'd be overindulging and that's all.

She's not your friend. Her reply is saying you served poor quality food which made them ill, but if she thinks you've given her food poisoning, why would she accept another invite from you? She can sod off with her crisps.

I'd just say 'I think it's best if we forget about Saturday' and leave the ball in her court. I'd be disgusted at her response. If she and her husband were ill and you and yours weren't, it's quite likely their food poisoning was nothing to do with you.

Hell's bells, I had thought that she was perhaps clumsily saying that she ate too much and suffered the consequences until I read her incredibly bitchy reply in your update. Wow. As you are clearly not of the refined standard to which she aspires, then let the men go out to the pub and tell her to get herself a ready meal from Wairose that she can stuff in her festering face eat at home.... If they do turn up with their poxy crisps and olives, prepare to make her squirm!

It’s not the fact that they were unwell. Maybe they were. It’s the fact she’s bitching about it to someone else that’s really shitty.

I would say ‘let’s just leave it’.

She didn't apologise!!!??? Oh, lady, NAH - have some MANNERS!

It's the non-apology for me, for sure. I'd be MORTIFIED if I'd sent that to you by mistake!!! What a turd.

I'd definitely go with "probably best you don't come over". The husbands can crack on, mate.x

As you can tell from the thread - we've all got your back on this one!!

Sorry, I just read OP's updates. Definitely uninvite her and don't invite her ever again.

Have some self respect. Absolutely do not accept her compromise. Also, how do you know they were ill? She's probably just shifting the blame.

I dont think she or the friendship can come back from this.

The two facedness, the gossiping behind your back, and the clear inference that you shopping at a supermarket that millions of ordinary people use is not up to her standards and made her sick, is offensive and insulting beyond tolerance. Youc ant swallow this and have any self respect . Stand up for yourself and uninvite them. If your husband enjoys his friends company so much, let him make the effort to meet him elsewhere. By the way, his casual acceptance of the insult just dealt to his wife is pretty low too.

Are you sure you weren't already unwell earlier in the evening? It would explain the bad breath ... ?

We actually couldn’t go round to dinner at someone’s house because quite a lot of things give dh bad heartburn/acid reflux and also bad bloating etc. nothing to do with the quality of the food but just some ingredients set him off so I tend to not make them at home. A restaurant is different as he can choose what he eats but someone making one dish that we have to eat is different. The food could be the best meal on the planet but he’d still have to down the pepto.
I wouldn’t send shitty messages like that though, it’s so rude and she should have apologised and explained it better.

Don't go ahead with it, you'll always regret it.

Use the heat as an excuse to reschedule and suggest meeting at a bar in a few weeks time, then leave it in their court to organise.

SO RUDE

My reply would be - 'think we'll just cancel. I don't want to eat crisps all night and can't have you getting ill from my food.:

Cheeky cow.

Cancel and let your dh invite hers out if he wants. It will be really awkward now rude cow

She says she thinks some of the ingredients I used were from places they wouldn’t usually shop and so didn’t agree with her.

In that case, she's a total cunt.

Also, if she believes the brand name on an ingredient can have an effect on one's stomach, she's not very bright.

Edited because you did eventually RTFT! Though the person you quoted didn't!

Gosh, I hope your joints don´t hurt by bending yourself out shape like a pretzel to find a justification where there simply isn´t one. This "friendship" will peter out on it´s own anyway, now both parties know where they stand.

I agree.