To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

So she was joking with others at your expense (obviously spoke to them about it before to reference it) and didn’t think she should apologise for that? No way, needs to be called out for this. And cancel dinner until you both can put it behind you a bit.

It was a bitchy comment that she wasn’t meant to see

That’s bad and her text update is worse.

id pull the invite

what a bitch.

Even if she was genuinely ill she shouldn't have been bitching to someone about you.

Aye, it probably was.

You’d overlook someone stating that the only reason they’re coming is because they felt like they couldn’t decline, who has been laughing about you behind your back telling people you’ve poisoned them, and wants to sit nibbling olives in the living room instead of eating dinner because they don’t trust you to not do it again?

Surely not 😂😂

This was my thought too.

I haven’t heard “cacking it” for years! Perhaps that’s why she needs the pepto?

Sorry, I didn’t read rest of your responses. I would cancel. Definitely.

Please don’t host. She sounds like a total bitch tbh. You’ll not enjoy it and feel resentful.

That's the deal breaker for me. If your husband wants to see hers they can go for a pint or a coffee. Not in your house.

“Hi Friend, given me and my husband were fine I would suggest it was in fact you and Dave that gave yourself the shits with your own cooking earlier in the day. I know it’s hard to believe but even Waitrose food can do that if the people preparing the meal don’t know what they’re doing”

The rude mare!!!!!
There is absolutely no way on earth that I’d have her round for drinks and nibbles. Your DH needs to grow a backbone and be in your corner!

She is very rude - you do not need this person as a friend. Regardless of whether she was unwell or not after the last meal (and these things can happen and the world doesn't end) she is talking about you to other people, so that's that for me really.

The poster who said, on reflection probably best we leave it, has it nailed on.

What are you bothered about?
Do you not take pepto after you've eaten a lot?

She's astoundingly rude. And quite apart from being snooty about your food, she thinks it's fine to bitch about you to another friend. No way I would host her again.

Snobby cow, I’d tell her not to bother coming around.

I agree with this.

you can reframe it. She feels the food made her ill but still accepts an invitation to your house as she values the friendship. Just like I have a friend who makes food I hate but I accept meal invitations to her house as I value her as a friend

She made a mild joke about getting bad indigestion. It’s not that big a deal.

its really sad that people are framing this as a personal attack. It wasn’t.

And it’s OP who interpreted this as a waitrose vs also snob thing. The friend never said that. She said ingrediants feom places I wouldn’t normally shop. She’s blaming the ingrediants as ones unfamiliar to her. Not OPs cooking skills.

Pull the invite. Her reply explaining is twatful. Bin them off, they are not worth the brain space.

She felt too polite to mention it or decline the invitation but ok to discuss her extremely upset tummy with others and mock you with the pepto commebt.
Im afraid I would cancel and if DH wished to remain mates they can go for a pint but I would bet he’s been as snobby/bitchy too.

If her and her husband were both poorly after the last meal with you, surely they would have phoned you to see if you were ok? And to let you know in case it was food poisoning. I find it very suspicious that they didn’t…. And her comment about food from somewhere they don’t usually shop is outrageous snobbery. I bet she’s gossiped about you to others too… oh it’s so awful when we dine with OP she actually serves food from Aldi, can you believe that…

There is no way I would be hosting this woman in my house after that message. No bloody way. I would message right back and say that while you are sorry to hear they had been poorly, you think it very peculiar they didn’t contact you immediately to let you know. And as you buy your alcohol from the same supermarkets you had better cancel their invitation in case that makes them poorly too….

Your hubby can meet up with hers in the pub if he wants to, but this woman is a nasty snob and not your friend.

Couldn’t agree more.

I’d reply that I have realised the men have more in common, that it’s best if just they meet. This maintains your pride and subtly rejects her. Your DH can invite him to the pub.
As she’s so full of herself she’ll gossip this development back to the intended recipient of her Pepto message who, if she’s wise enough, will see her for what she is and dump her too.

6/10. Your reading comprehension needs working on.

@Firegoddess"I see OP is inundated with replies along the lines of ‘Bitch! Drop her!’ OP, this explains why so many people on MN are quite socially isolated. "

Who are you to be the judge of that ?

And FWIW I'd sooner be 'socially isolated' than have some 2-faced madam sitting in my dining room, eating my food, and then bitching about it afterwards to all and sundry.