To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

I’ve said similar as I do have acid reflux ‘better get the gaviscon in’ if I know I’m going to overeat (although I rarely do anyway now!). Doesn’t mean the food is bad, it means your body struggles to deal with it!

Still invite them round but pour her a glass of Pepto!

I think she is lying. I don't think she had an upset stomach. I think she just didn't like what you cooked and thought it looked less bitchy to say they were ill.

If only one of them had an upset tummy you might think lactose intolerance or something but both her and the husband having a reaction points towards food poisoning and that isn't likely because you weren't ill.

I think she got caught out having a bitch fest and not wanting to look like a bitch she lied.

I think you owe it to yourself to be open and direct with her.

Text something like. We were fine so not sure why you both had upset stomachs. I would have preferred if you had reached out to me rather than moan to someone else about it. On reflection I think I have to cancel Saturday as to be honest you have upset me.

If you go through with it cos your husband wants to then it will be really awkward.

grim little suburban snob

Love this.

I know a few.

Ok, I see she wasn’t referring to reflux and was being rude about your cooking!!

Maybe your food did give her them both the runs? Sometimes it just is a different environment that sets it off. I don't think I'd say it to the hosts face though.
She was prepared to come back so clearly your company means more than your cooking.

"Different places" could mean anything - outdoor markets, ethnic supermarket, local deli.

I still think of Pepto as American and mostly for acid reflux. Although isn't there's a lot of ads currently to persuade us otherwise.

If you value the friendship I would say
Ok. , you cook then see you at 6
If you don't , that would be the end for me

If your DH insists on having them round I would leave them to it. Go have a drink and a laugh with some nice friends

I don’t understand why they didn’t invite you to theirs instead? Rather than accept the invitation and then slag you off behind your back? I wouldn’t go ahead on Saturday. See what happens after that but you invited them for dinner, not olives. Just say I think we best leave it.

I doubt you’ll get your husband to go along with this but best thing to do would be say nothing and go out for the night so they turn up to a dark empty house…

As you were both fine it’s much more likely that they had a viral gastroenteritis. She has been incredibly rude, both in her response to you and bitching about your cooking to others. I’m not sure how you move past this.

It's never good to learn someone you consider a friend has been mean about you behind your back. You can't help wondering how many times she's done it before, and once trust is broken, it's hard to win it back.

Your friend didn't even have the grace to own what she'd done and apologise. She doubled down by criticising where you buy some of the ingredients. So, not just a back-stabber, she's a snob too. I'd be very hurt by this and would put some space between us. If your DH wants to see her DH, they can go to the pub and enjoy a bag of crisps.

It definitely sounds like an insult to me. Im interested to see if she replies to your email.

Bloody hell OP. That is huge insult. I don’t get why people are making light of it she was clearly insulting you behind your back. I would not host her again!

She (& her husband) are not worth making an effort for ever again. This would draw a line under any possibility of entertaining them in your house for another time.

Your 'friend' ridiculed your food to another person; was happy to accept another invite while laughing about it, was not truthful to you about her upset stomach; scrutinised the quality of ingredients in your cooking. She was very rude.

Continue the friendship but never allow them in your house again. Why make any effort when she doesn't think twice about mocking your generosity?

What a horrible nasty person. No don't host. If your dh wants to see the h he does it away from the house. No apology for her nasty comments and then a nasty dig. Not a friend and I'd distance myself from her. Yanbu. There are nicer friends out there.

So not only did she insult your cooking and not even apologise for getting caught out, she’s been talking about it with others as well because clearly making the pepto comment (while a joke to her) needed no explanation to whoever she was talking to.

ask your DH to back you up and just cancel them!

The thing is OP, even if what she says is true, she shouldn't be bitching about you to other people. Unless she saying she had food poisoning because something was off, in which case you'd have had it too, your food shouldn't have made them ill.

I think it's going to be awkward now and maybe you should tell her she hasn't acted like a friend.

In a way it’s good she was honest but does she think supermarket products will give her heart burn over posher places? I’d cancel personally. It only was she rude but she’s gossiped about you to her other friends

This is why I don't eat other peoples food.

She has suggested they come round but only for drinks and said they are happy to bring some crisps/olives with them.

I think that calls for the classic "I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me"

I honestly wouldn't be able to get past this. And I'd also want to point out that she wasn't too polite to bitch about your meal behind your back.

Yeah, that's classic bitch behaviour. No manners, no class.

I initially thought YABU to cancel.but after reading her mealy mouthed response, YANBU.

It's possible they both have slight intolerances to some ingredients, which is why they had an upset stomach. For example I have a garlic/onion intolerance, which can cause an upset stomach/sickness.

Your friend has come across as a food snob, more or less saying that you're buying inferior quality products, which have caused her and her husband to be unwell. Buying ingredients from Aldi compared to Waitrose, isn't going to cause an upset stomach! She should have told you at the time, that her and her husband were unwell. For one to make sure you all weren't unwell!! As you and your husband weren't, then it wasn't food poisoning, like I said more likely they were sensitive or intolerant to an ingredient.

This person, isn't really your friend, if she's gossiping behind your back. She's a rather unpleasant person. Offering to bring snacks on Saturday too!! She clearly doesn't want to eat at yours!

Tell your husband to go to the pub with her husband. I wouldn't be hosting them again.

I get horrendous heartburn from garlic and butter. Doesn't stop me eating it - because i love both. I just down Gaviscon after it. Works like a charm and I get to be a glutton for punishment.