Dh didn’t leave me any water or drinks

[Footballscominghomehey]

I was really ill yesterday and especially last night, lots of vomiting etc (sorry tmi)
We live abroad and it’s extremely hot, we don’t drink the tap water here.
The bedroom was a real mess this morning-sick bucket full, duvet yucky, he quietly said my name to wake me up and that he was going to work.
I feel horrendous, so weak and there’s zero water and drinks. I’m trying to set up
a delivery service to see if they can deliver
Does anyone think this is a bit shitty to leave me with no drinks. Feel so dehydrated

What about boiling water and sticking it in the fridge?

How can you deduce he is lacking in empathy when you don't even know what time it is for the OP and therefore how long it is has been since he left for work?!

Isn't this the whole point of forums? The OP is trying to understand whether her feelings are valid.

Not always it isn't. I lived in Spain in an area where the tap water wasn't drinkable.

Please read what I write and remember it.

The next time he’s ill, give him the exact same care he’s given you.

Also, don’t get a pet or have children with him.

If you were out of it until her left this morning he didn't know you drank all 3 litres of water surely? Sounds like you are wallowing in self pity and trying to start an argument with him.

Some of you are either deliberately argumentative for fun, or just have a ridiculously low bar! "Should have used your words" "he probably had no sleep either" etc etc... what is wrong with you people 😂

I would fully expect the person who loves me enough to commit to a lifetime together to ensure my basic needs are met if I've been up all night puking! That is what husbands and wives do, it's the point of it all. Spouses, partners, lovers, friends - whatever the relationship is, you look after the one you love when they can't look after themselves. Some of you need to raise your standards.

@Footballscominghomehey I'm sorry he was shit this time, hopefully it's not a trend

Boiling it doesn't necessarily make it safe to drink. It doesn't remove toxins.

It's a valid argument! She has a right to be mad

I totally agree - I think (actually I hope) people are being disingenuous.

There’s no benefit of the doubt for a man whose wife is quite ill and he left without checking she has everything she needs and promising to check in on her. None.

A huge thing that seems to be lacking on this forum is the understanding that people are human beings. They can't preempt everything, they can't remember everything, people mess up.
If my husband was ill there's no guarantee I am going to remember to check the water for them, especially if there was 3 bottles the day before.

In any normal relationship a phone call would of happened along the lines of aw Jim, there's no water left I'm the house, aw never Sandra, sorry I forgot to check, I'll run in the shop on the way home, are you OK until then?

Then there's mumsnet world...my husband has left me with no water, get your ducks in a row, never have children with him, why did you marry him, it's fucking crazy on here sometimes.

Jesus Christ. At what point do you expect a man to have two brain cells of his own and proactively check on his sick wife? When she’s in a coma? If she’s screaming in pain, as others on the thread say they’ve been with kidney stones? If the op died today some of the people on this thread would say to the husband, there there it wasn’t your fault, she didn’t tell you she needed help.

op, I don’t mean you’re dying! I’m just trying to convey that it is a spouses responsibility to proactively care for their ill partner and he’s failed you. Just as others on this thread would clearly fail their loved ones. I hope they at least look after their children better than this.

Considering you slept in different rooms I think the fact he woke you up enough to say goodbye, he could have at least tried to find out how you're feeling. It must have been quite obvious to him that you've been very unwell through the night but he basically just legged it!

And thats how misogyny works...lots of women are socialised into it without realising. She has kidney stones, puking allnight, dangerously dehydrated, room smells of puke, sheets a mess.

But dont bother the menz. She needs to 'toughen up' or whatever.

OP Id be concerned you might pass out if you get up to do anything. Please call your DH to tell him to arrange deliveries including a rehydration supplement. Massive, massive sympathies from me.

If you say so. Some people would say walking out of the house early in the morning and leaving your very unwell wife in hot weather without water with a condition that needs lots of water is not just abusive but near criminal neglect, and said woman owes him not a drop of care, including buying him water.

You say ‘do you need anything? And leave them with water, biscuits, some lollies, check bucket needs emptying or cleaning, a fresh facecloth… and while performing basic care you realise you can’t leave her with water because there isn’t any.

she also can’t text him because he isn’t looking at his phone.

I think you've taken a giant leap here and there is a middle ground where people can seek reassurance about how they're feeling and people can be empathetic about it.

No one is saying he's a monster for not getting her water and she should leave him.

And I feel sorry for your husband if you wouldn't think to get him a glass of water to leave by his bed after he's been sick all night. At which point you'd have realised there was no water.

If my husband was ill there's no guarantee I am going to remember to check the water for them, especially if there was 3 bottles the day before.

Even when you can’t drink tap water and having bottle water is essential?
The very big thing here is that theyre not in the U.K.
From what the OP said running out of water and having to nip to the shop 2 mins down the road isn’t unusual.
So yes in those specific circumstances, checking there was enough fir the day was the minimum care to give to the OP.

o/p are you keeping the water down then?

separate from the dh issue- I agree he should have asked if he could get you anything before he left as a minimum… i

if you are vomiting so copiously maybe reduce the water intake to smaller sips- 3 large bottles in a relatively short period will not help the sickness when your body rejects it. It sounds like you’re in a cycle where you’re drinking a lot then vomiting it back up.

you’re going to end up electrolyte depleted. It’s not water so much you need as rehydration fluids. I would try the tea you have and drink it very slowly.

your DH is inconsiderate but why in earth don’t you have a water dispenser?!

in every country I’ve lived where tap water isn’t drinkable every single house has a water dispenser with a 5 gallon bottle and several spares.

Sort one out ASAP

I don’t think it is DH’s fault really. Hope you manage to restock.

Yes it's definitely not a nice thing for him to have done. I would just call him and say 'did you leave any water for me'? When he says no, just say you're surprised about that and expected a bit more care/thought considering how ill you've been. You just need to communicate this to him in a 'not angry way' for future situations - do you have children together? As he needs to be thinking about you and any children especially when ill before himself.
Hope you feel better.

Do you live somewhere where you can't drink the water?

It's pretty basic to check on a vomiting partner.

If you wouldn't think to do that, it's no wonder you are siding with the DH in this case.