To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

Never. I’d never cancel the holiday for that.

no way.

@DaysIllRememberAllMyLife

ooh I missed that

Please can you point me in the right direction ?

tho that explains the other references to rainy puddles - I thought it was a line from a song that is being referred to.

Holy moly.

you have zero empathy for her with this at all

gosh. Your friend is anxious with something. Help her!

Agree with this - both mine and dealing with other peoples.

I've had to become less empathetic to survive, I went through severe burnout thanks to being a doormat and giving too many of my spoons to people like the OPs friend.

I assume many of those posting don’t understand the cost of dealing with this sort of anxiety and demand constantly.

@whereismyhisband If this person is worthy enough for you to agree to go on holiday with her, then she’s worthy enough for you to have some empathy. You can explain to her that you can work until 12 and still make it to the airport in time. It’s very extreme to cancel a holiday on the day because she’s mithering. Be a good friend.

What sort of friend are you?

Reassure her fgs. Tell her if she needs to, to go to the airport and you'll see her there otherwise hold tight, 12pm and I'll be clear. All packed and ready to go.

I've read all of OP's messages, and as a frequent traveller I'd also find this incredibly irritating to the point of regretting booking with my friend. I also travel with friends frequently and have never experienced anything close to this thankfully. The friend's anxiety is clearly unreasonable and I don't think OP needs to indulge that. 100s of messages and calling when OP is working and has stated her arrival time is clearly bonkers. I hope the trip goes ok and the friend calms down.

Im not sure I’d want to go on holiday with you. You sound angry

Does she know she is going away with a disloyal backstabber?

Well if it is the OP better keep going, I could do with a week of mirth and frivolity.

This. Be a nicer person.

Constant use of the misogynistic slur hysterical doesn't predispose me in your favour.

She genuinely needs therapy. 100 plus messages and calls about arriving hours and hours too early is anxiety that needs help. Not normal behaviour. Hope your holiday is ok!

I feel so sorry for the ‘friend’ with anxiety having such a shit friend thats not even prepared to try and help her

cancelling would probably do the friend a favour in the long run.

I can’t imagine ever treating a friend so bloody horribly and in such an uncaring way

What has @whereismyhisband actually done that is so horrible?

The levels of anxiety exhibited are unlikely to be assuaged by anything she could do or say. Such people just move on to the next fearful imagining.

She's been a pretty shit friend to OP over this.

And you're lovely are you? Harassment isn't "wanting a little hand hold" FFS. This is a grown woman, it an infant.

It sounds like you’re also really anxious about the holiday and you can’t handle her anxiety on top of your own. Classic deflection. Either that or you really are an arse.

I couldn't find any flights to Cape Verde from the UK yesterday.

100 messages that is normal and the receiver has to just put up with it? If it was man the police would be called

When I flew for the first time I arrived at the airport 6 hours early. My friends (seasoned travellers) arrived 4 hours later. It was just anxiety and excitement.
Now I’m endlessly flying with work and I’m happy to cut it pretty fine.
Just tell her she can arrive whenever she wants but you won’t be there until 2pm (and let her know bag drop won’t be open before then anyway so she’ll be milling around land side for hours.

Friends make allowances for each other, even if they seem unreasonable. I have a friend who I love very much, but has various travel issues. I just smile, support her, and gently tease her when appropriate! We have had some great holidays together. If you can't leave work early, that is fine; be nice to her, and say you will get there as soon as you can. In that situation, I would text her when I leave work, to keep her in the loop and reassure her.

I am an anxious flyer, but that would be the least of my worries about holidaying in Cape Verde
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cwy18l59yxxo

Yep. I imagine the OP is the type of person that rocks up late to everything and thats why the friend was super anxious about getting there. The only person that sounds 'hysterical' is the OP. Threatening to leave a friend in the lurch and cancel a holiday on the day just because shes a little anxious about getting to the airport. What a fucking drama queen. For future reference OP for international flights its a MINIMUM of 3 hours not maximum. This is for reasons your friend quoted to you. Sometimes there are hold ups, particularly at security and you can end up missing flights, particularly if you're stupid enough to not even know the time of your flight.