AIBU to think King Charles comes across as a really crap dad?

[mintleavesandthyme]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c77yykl87yno

I mean really, this is just pathetic. No one is believing that KC couldn’t find a spare bed for his son. AIBU to think that as the parent KC needs to get a grip and grow up instead of just fuelling the drama?

The whole premise that KC is some regular 'dad', as OP says, is totally unrealistic. He's now the Head of State and was for years second in the royal hierarchy. His chances of being a 'great dad' are on a par with the CEO of a multi-national company or similar.

I think he's a decent man who tries to do the right thing. He's made mistakes - but when will simple-minded folk stop beating him with the 'he betrayed our darling Diana' stick. Loads of marriages and relationships fail - theirs failed for complex reasons and not just because of Camilla. Let's not keep bringing that up - I feel sorry for both parties in the marriage - oh, and Camilla too.

I think Harry was spoilt by Diana - she admitted it, pretty much. Her advice to him was 'If you're going to be bad, just don't get found out!'

Saint Diana of Althorp wasn't a great mum, actually. She spent a lot of time away from 'her boys' in the last period of her life while chasing dodgy men. If you want to find parental blame for the patheticness of Harry, you have to admit Diana was no model mother either.

So tragic, the person closest to Philip and he was just a teenager. He learned to be tough.
Perhaps he thought it was the right thing to do, to follow the coffin, as he had.

This needs to be repeated, because everything that family does has PR and self preservation at its core, often to the detriment of its members. It's a "Firm" after all, dedicated to its preservation and financial success.

I saw an interview with him about this where he explained what he'd done and said to the princes.

He told them about his experience and said that walking behind her coffin helped him a lot. He suggested that it might help them, although it would be hard, and that if they didn't do it they might regret it later. He told them 'If you decide to do it, I'll walk with you'.

Whatever we might think of this decision, it was made in good faith. The upper classes have a reputation for 'stiff upper lips' for a reason. It's a cultural thing - the old ' it's not done to cry at funerals, but it's OK to cry at weddings' adage.

Some might say - well, that's just what's wrong with the whole thing. Maybe - but these people were not going to live 'normal' lives like the rest of us. They were being brought up to do tough things when they perhaps didn't feel like it. I'm sure that was the rationale, whatever your view of it/

Yes, I think that's fair enough. I can understand that. I think people are too ready to be dismissive because of their agenda, but it's a very good point. Rarely are things as simple as people claim.
Relying to @CoffeeCantata

I remember watching the crowds outside Balmoral There were cries from the crowd saying to Prince Philip “look after the boys” and you could tell he was really annoyed and he said something along the lines of that is exactly what we are doing.

palron · Today 10:41
Ukisgaslit · Today 10:03
William and Harry walked behind their mother’s coffin for one reason only .
To protect Charles from the predicted abuse from the public .
The children are PR shields and are used as such as and when needed
This needs to be repeated, because everything that family does has PR and self preservation at its core, often to the detriment of its members. It's a "Firm" after all, dedicated to its preservation and financial success.

Er, no - it's a load of malicious bollocks.

Yes, I remember that. God - people are stupid and crass.

Harry has had all the privilege and none of the responsibility. I think that’s the issue.

He’s not very bright academically by all accounts and he seems to take against people and not talk to them for ages (apparently his mother was the same).

And Meghan is so much into female empowerment that she (as a relatively unknown actor outside of Suits fans) married a man that could bring her money and fame rather than earning both herself.

So why anyone would want him near them, I don’t know.

But the Great British Public wanted to see them! That trumps everything.

And then, when they did see them, following the coffin, that was wrong too.

That whole week was batshit - most of the country seemed to be in the grip of some kind of madness! People became totally unhinged

I also think “The stiff upper lip” is far too often disparaged and underrated these days, to have the ability to be strong and not collapsing in an emotional heap and have some control of your emotions in times of adversity builds resilience which can only be a good thing.

The Queen was in the UK though. She could have said ' Sorry but no, I'm not going to do that, I'll make a statement and explain that I am protecting my grandchildren at Balmoral. She could have come on her own. She was hardly going to be sacked was she? No one has a right to access to the children. The press whipped it up and put the blame on The Queen to distract from their own culpability. The Royals always throw the children to the masses to save themselves. That's what they did then.

I agree. It was quite disturbing.

I was annoyed by so many things (not least, the way people left the ruddy cellophane on their flowers so that they couldn't easily be composted. Take it off - use your brain!)

And the canonisation of Diana, because basically she was pretty and glamorous. I bet if she'd been plain, dumpy and frumpy few people would have cared. It seemed to bring out the public's shallowness.

Of course it was a tragic event - but the ridiculous outpouring of emotion took away the dignity of it, for me. And while I am not demonising Diana - any more than I'd blame Charles for the breakdown of the marriage - people have very short memories. In the months leading up to her death Diana was not popular with the public. She was chasing Dodi in the Med, and there was a lot of criticism of her, especially since her sons were on school holidays and she had spent very little time with them by her own choice.

She was a flawed human being and so is Charles...and so are most of us.

But given the mood of the nation at the time, she knew the monarchy was in trouble. Whatever she did would have been wrong, All the vox pops on news etc were demanding to see them. The mood was ugly as fuck.

I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who got mad about the cellophane!

That week was the only time in my life I have been ashamed to be British.

I agree, with hindsight, that she should have done just that.

But it was a different age - now nearly 30 years ago - and the RF were still very much in the 'never apologise, never explain' mindset.

Yes, a simple, dignified message to the nation at an earlier stage would have helped, but I guess the Queen and the RF never imagined that people would think they weren't prioritising the princes' needs.

The public were whipped by the tabloids. Before she died the tabloids had started to be very critical of Diana, when she died so suddenly they did a quick about face and started the Saint Diana rubbish that's still around today. To protect themselves they demanded the Queen make statements, return to London etc etc they focused on the children being there and gloried in Earl Spencer's eulogy as it was more ammunition to aim at the royals and protect themselves. Tony Blair wittered on about the People's Princess and put pressure on the palace to do things the way he thought best.

With hindsight it's easy to see how the palace should have responded to the pressure but no one was thinking clearly at the time.

I actually do have papers from the time in my loft because I was sure the narrative would change over time and get distorted.

Yes all those hysterical people crying in the faces of two bereaved teenage boys ( which they have said was more traumatising than the coffin walk) need to take a good look at themselves. I doubt they were Republicans waving placards around. The Royal superfans are the ones who time and again do more damage to Royal children with their parasocial behaviour and over familiarity than any Republican ever could.The Royals love them of course because they validate them and excuse everything they do. Instead of falling over themselves to bathe in their adoration they should put boundaries in place. They aren't going anywhere. All that will happen is fewer people crowding around on Christmas day screaming and shouting and waving teddy bears and Aldi selection boxes around.

I think you're right about the extreme behaviour of some superfans, but I don't think these are the same people. The people letting it all hang out about Diana were quite hostile to the RF, if I remember rightly. On here you get the Saint Diana camp and the KC/late Queen camp, and they're very different types, I'd say.

I mean - Elton John is still of that persuasion.

I actually do have papers from the time in my loft because I was sure the narrative would change over time and get distorted.

Me too, MrsLeon!

I love history and I like to (sort of) 'feel' the moments which mark turning points etc. Yes, that was a real volte-face for the press and the public.

My daughter's birthday (4) fell on the day the news broke about Diana's death. The poor child just couldn't get her head around the blanket news coverage and when it was still full-on 4 days later she said 'Are they NEVER going to stop talking about her?' I told her that, horrible though it was, she'd always remember the event...and she does!

💯 agree with posters talking about the public hysteria. Between the death and the funeral itself people were losing their minds. The way the public were behaving at her funeral was disturbing to watch, poor boys who had to witness that spectacle.

I remember the newspaper headlines that were running day in day out. Here is just four as an example.

Thanks for those pictures @IAmATorturedPoet and that is just a tiny snippet of the mass hysteria that week, the Country went collectively mad and HMTQ was public enemy number one.

Yes, just a tiny snippet.
It really was relentless and HMTQ bore the brunt of it.

You're right, it was relentless. When she got out of the car in front of BP to look at the flowers, people thought she'd get a very negative reaction.