To think DH shouldn't be napping in the daytime?

[Waheymum]

My DH doesn't have work today. I appreciate that we are both tired with a baby and a toddler, but today we got back from toddler group with the toddler asleep. He went for a nap, I tried to join him but the baby was wide awake, did a poo, had to be changed, wanted more milk. DH is overweight but currently on a 'lifestyle change' meaning he's cutting most sugar out of his diet and does exercises in the evening (during ad breaks). Because I'm awake anyway, I've looked up whether daytime naps hinder weight loss and lo and behold, they do.

AIBU to think DH should stay awake from when he gets up until bedtime?

Nap envy?

Yep it's strange how the Mediterranean diet and lifestyle are considered healthy...but a siesta isn't ?

I love a sleep in the day and managed to sift 2 stone (sadly put back on) having one regularly

Why do you think your dh should stay awake from when he gets up until bed time?
Presumably he has a full time job as well as a toddler and baby. So unless he is leaving you to do everything ( which you haven't suggested), it sounds like it just caught up with him today. Which happens. Once he is up you can go and have a nap.
I've never heard of a nap hindering weight loss. If your sleeping, your not eating crap to give yourself the energy to stay awake.
I also believe getting more sleep ( going to bed early etc) is a tactic used by people on diets to actually aid weight loss- prevents snacking in the evenings etc.

Going to need to see the science of how a nap hinders weight loss…

it’s hot as fuck, he’s had a day off. If he needs it, he needs it. Unless he never does anything and makes your life harder generally, you’re being unreasonable

He probably wants a nap to get an hour's break from being hassled about his weight, his food intake and his sleep habits.

Do the two of you have much joy in life at the moment?

I had a nap today.

What does your husband do for a living ?

Doesn’t matter?

Me too! Was great

Yes it does, if he has a hard physical job then yes he may need a sleep.

Post reads as though you are completely against napping - which is crackers.

But is it really that you resent that he can nap when he wants and you can't? Because that I can understand.

Don’t think one nap will kill him!

Assuming this isn’t actually about the weight loss and it’s because you couldn’t nap, then yes it’s reasonable that he’s allowed to take a nap if he can but on the flip side, he then needs to take over to allow you a nap when you’re tired. I do the early mornings with the kids so my husband lets me take a nap whenever I need one.

Op I've always napped even when I had a baby and a toddler at home. We had a sofa in the playroom so baby would go to bed and toddler would have a disney video on and I'd snooze on sofa.

Naps do not hinder weight loss! I am 48 now and I've had two naps today, deep sleep for 15 mins both times.

I can't comprehend people not napping. My body just shuts down.

lt might be the heat. I like a nap when I can. Tell him he is on parent duty next time he's around and you need a nap.

I have lived for a long time in a country where temperatures go really high like what we are seeing now. In there, it's not uncommon to nap if your schedule allows that. It's a necessity when it's utterly hot. Your body suffers a continous stress that must be contrasted, a bit like computers who shut down when they overheat. Moreover if you're on a diet you might feel even more fatigue.

Couldn't it be simple as that?

I understand it's annoying if there are things to do and he goes to sleep, so you might discuss how to deal with that. However I think he's dealing with heat, fatigue, and weight loss so I think he shouldn't be judged for that.

I know how annoying it is but can I suggest you consider this from another point of view. Before you get upset or angry I wonder if your DH could be ill and it might be a good idea to get a GP check up. If he has already done this then fine but from sad experience I used to get really cross with my hubby for falling asleep - often when he had not long been up in the mornings. He was overweight off and on all his life. Sadly this was a symptom of a serious illness and we both ignored it making all sorts of excuses for the tiredness. Now I'm not saying your DH has a serious illness but why not eliminate any possibilities and just get checked out. I blame myself all the time for ignoring it. We tend to think we should all be the same and have lots of energy but tiredness could be masking many things - diabetes for example. A simple check up with the GP making sure you mention the tiredness is what I would suggest.

You sound really mean honestly encourage him to lose weight and leave him to it. Naps in the day are fine.

Needing to have a nap during the day could be because of work, or being awake during the night, or the heat. But also can be a symptom of diabetes. You mention your husband is overweight and trying to cut out sugar. Did he consume a lot of sugar before? I suggest he gets a diabetes test at the local chemist who can check his sugar levels.

I LOVE naps and I’m not elderly. I’ve always loved them. I think it’s fine that your DH had one, as long as you get the equivalent time to do something for you

Day time naps helped me and my DH survive having young children, and we both still love a nap.
Especially with the heat and later nights. Just like in the southern Med… If you can take a siesta.. why not? Works great for them!
Napping has been proven to help cognitively as long as the naps are kept short.
I think you’re maybe just resentful as you feel maybe you like the default parent? And would like nap/lie down/down time yourself? Which would be fair.

I generally have a nap every day. I’m 66.

You were going to join him until baby woke up, so I think this is less about people napping and more that you didn't get chance.
Can he not be on baby duty whilst you have a nap?

He took a nap one day and you looked up whether it was bad for weight loss? Yikes.

I had a nap yesterday and today because I slept badly last night and was just hot and bothered yesterday.

I don't have small children but I used to nap when my ds did, when he was small.