To think DH shouldn't be napping in the daytime?

[Waheymum]

My DH doesn't have work today. I appreciate that we are both tired with a baby and a toddler, but today we got back from toddler group with the toddler asleep. He went for a nap, I tried to join him but the baby was wide awake, did a poo, had to be changed, wanted more milk. DH is overweight but currently on a 'lifestyle change' meaning he's cutting most sugar out of his diet and does exercises in the evening (during ad breaks). Because I'm awake anyway, I've looked up whether daytime naps hinder weight loss and lo and behold, they do.

AIBU to think DH should stay awake from when he gets up until bedtime?

It's his day off work. Not his day off being a dad, surely. Why is the default that OP sorted out the baby whilst he napped? - sounds like there wasn't any discussion about the possibility of OP having a rest.

The bloke had a nap, it doesn’t mean he has a health condition fgs 🤣 me & my DH have kids and we take it in turns some weekend to go for a nap. Naps are lovely!

Perhaps just one of you could have taken the toddler to the toddler group while the other had a nap/rest? It sounds like you are both tired, so try to seize these opportunities?

Absolutely no issues with napping as long as you get chance to sometimes too

Yanbu to feel put out that he’s getting a rest while you’re still tired and running around after the baby.
Yabu to make out like your worried about his health rather than being honest that your feeling (understandably) a bit jealous.

Leave him to it and once he’s up he can watch them both while you get a rest.

Is it a one off or does he go for a nap every day?

As others have pointed out, you seem critical of him having the nap and that he shouldn't need it, but then also mention you wanted to join him. So is it more than you are annoyed he got to nap and you didn't?

Why can't she just tell him that he's having the baby when he wakes up so she can nap? Just because he's having one it doesn't mean she can't

In the current hot weather, I've been waking up early, working from 7-12.30 having a 2.5 hour siesta and then starting again at 3 when it's a bit cooler.

I'm starting to understand why other countries do it. 😊

OP can just take herself off for a nap when he wakes up, or could have had a lie-in this morning if her DH was off work.

He had a nap?

That's what 15/20 mins?

Surely enough time for you to have done the same afterwards?

Yabu.

I love a nap

😂 why are people trying to diagnose a man over a single nap?! Good grief.

Napping would not bother me. However, if he has had a couple of hours off today, you need him to hold the fort for a couple of hours later on in the week. Him not stepping up definitely would be an issue.

A nap on a hot day, when you aren’t in the office and have baseline broken sleep with a baby and toddler is a sensible (and lovely) thing. It’s not going to make him fat ffs, staying up with a packet of biscuits or sugary iced coffee to ‘power through’ would do that though!

Of course you should have one too, he should wake up after a certain period and give you a protected break.

I tried to join him.

So it would have been fine if you could join him, but because you couldn't, he shouldn't nap?

I personally hate naps—they make me feel awful because it takes me hours to properly wake up afterwards, and they stop me from sleeping at night. Thankfully, my husband only naps when he's unwell.

I also don't get what weight loss has to do with napping. Yes, getting enough sleep helps with weight loss, but surely exercising instead of sleeping would be far more beneficial?

Wow, you've psychologised this bloke from a single post. You're simply amazing!

Where did you read that naps hinder weight loss??

It’s literally the opposite.
Sleep is essential for weight loss and if you’re sleeping you’re not eating.

Most people cannot lose weight if they do not get enough sleep.

YABVU to think that napping is going to hinder his weight loss.

I’m assuming he works FT and you are on maternity leave?
Therefore there is no issue with him having a nap whilst you take care of the DCs.

If you’re both working the same amount of hours then I understand why you’d be resentful that he’s napping and you’re not but just swap over later on so that you can nap too.

Is your main concern his immediate health, his weight, or that it's unfair on you?

I'm generally very low energy, and if i shut my eyes I'll be asleep in less than 5 mins (no matter what time of day!) Nothing medically wrong with me, I just work long hours at a stressful job, I don't sleep well overnight, and I'm knackered all the time. But if I napped for an hour then I would certainly expect to take over from my husband when I woke up.

But OP was planning to take a nap too.

Does that mean she is also doing it to try and get out of parenting??

When mine were young we did sometimes all go for a nap on Saturday and/or Sunday lunchtimes, and it was fantastic. You do have to be fairly ruthless about sticking them in bed and NOT using that time to tidy up etc. But honestly, while they were at the age of getting up at the crack of dawn it was wonderful to have that peace for an hour or two.
It doesn't always work when yu have a baby who's too small to do "longer" naps, but maybe find a way to have DH take turns with you for the interrupted naps?

Or alternatively, carve out another time just for you, when he, fully rested from his nap, can take over while you have a bath (or your own nap!) But don't make it that you're on duty full time, while he never has to. It's up to you, really.

My DH started taking himself off for naps. Turns out he's diabetic and we didn't know 🫣

You both had the day off. Did you really go to a toddler group together?

Anyway on a day off spent mostly at home you should get equal time off.

It's absolutely not that he shouldn't nap, but that however long he naps for, he takes over kids and domestic stuff for that length of time afterwards so that then you can nap, or read, or scroll, or have a bath, or go for a walk - or anything you want for an hour or however long he had.

Did you ask a sycophantic chat bot on affirm mode about whether naps hinder weight loss ? Depending how you use chatbots they often tell you what your prompt suggested you want to be told.

As others say, giving up sugar causes tiredness short term and should be better in a couple of weeks.

I'm like this, but after many years I've finally and TOTALLY mastered the secret: don't sleep too long.

One short "cycle" of 20 minutes (30 at MOST) is what you want.

After that your body goes into a deep sleep cycle and you (or at least I) waken up not knowing what time of day it is and completely stupefied. I hate that feeling.

Something that works well for me is not going to bed, but rather putting the radio or a boring TV program on, and just napping in a recliner or on the sofa. The background noise seems to stop me going into a deep sleep but still lets me rest. You can also take a cup of coffee when you settle down (not essential, and only when it's not too late in the day!) as this doesn't kick in for half an hour so again, it will help you waken up refreshed.

I love a siesta! They are great!

I lived in Spain for years and can assure you I was never overweight because of those naps.

in fact - I started gaining weight when I stopped sleeping well at night and was told lack of sleep contributes to weight gain.

Just make sure naps are spread equally so it doesn’t become one sided.

How do naps hinder weight loss? Ive just lost 6 stone and I nap in my lunch break everyday.
Mind you I am 64 and have a full on job.