To think DH shouldn't be napping in the daytime?

[Waheymum]

My DH doesn't have work today. I appreciate that we are both tired with a baby and a toddler, but today we got back from toddler group with the toddler asleep. He went for a nap, I tried to join him but the baby was wide awake, did a poo, had to be changed, wanted more milk. DH is overweight but currently on a 'lifestyle change' meaning he's cutting most sugar out of his diet and does exercises in the evening (during ad breaks). Because I'm awake anyway, I've looked up whether daytime naps hinder weight loss and lo and behold, they do.

AIBU to think DH should stay awake from when he gets up until bedtime?

It’s probably his weight that is making him need a nap during the day. DH was the same and was exhausted after a morning with our toddler and baby but so was I and when you are a parent you have to suck it up. He lost 3 stone and has worked really hard to get healthy and fit over the last 2 years and hasn’t needed a day time nap in a long time.

Does anyone on this site actually like their husband?

Are you annoyed that he's napping or thay you can't nap?
If your annoyed he's napping and you would also like to nap, then you just need to communicate that to him. I'm sure he'd watch the kids while you had a nap.

One off it’s fine.
Everyday. Not so much

Agree!! I don’t always sleep well or wake up really early. I love a nap on those days if I can!

Me and my husband both have a nap on a Sunday. Got 2 kids under 2 and he works very hard. Nice for each of you to have a rest on a weekend I think

During ad breaks!?

People don't post about things they're they're content with.

There's also nobody starting a thread saying "My teenagers aren't causing me any real problems and are pretty good kids"

or

"My toddler potty trained in a fairly straightforward way"

or "I'm not having any problems with my boss/ colleagues atm"

...

Yes, that’s not really much exercise is it?

Cutting out sugar from your diet makes you sleepy IME, until your body regulates itself again it feels like you don't have enough energy to get through the day, once you've been off sugar for a couple of weeks he'll be fine and should have more energy than before.

You say he's off work today, so that is the perfect time to have a nap/rest in the daytime.. but does he give you an opportunity to do that by picking up responsibility in the house at the weekends etc?

I do. In fact I think he is great. Not a popular opinion though!

Lots of things can impact weight management, including lack of sleep, tiredness and stress!

Are you genuinely concerned with his weight management, or annoyed that he wasn't helping with childcare?

Was this a one off, or does he regularly fall asleep during the day? Does he himself feel he has a problem with energy and wakefulness?

If he does, it would be worth him doing an Epworth Sleep Score / seeing the GP
https://www.asthmaandlung.org.uk/conditions/obstructive-sleep-apnoea-osa/epworth-sleepiness-scale

If this is a one off, and you're genuinely concerned about his weight management I think being supportive and encouraging would be more helpful than criticising his choices.

Get him to get his bloods checked. I became lethargic and needed daytime naps / fell asleep in front of the TV of an evening, and it turned out my iron, vit b12 and d amongst other things were low. So low that I needed weekly infusions of iron and vit d for a couple of months. The only sign was suddenly needing to nap.

You know, life will come along with real problems that turn your world upside down, that's life, you ride the highs and lows but don't create lows for no reason!

You seems to be actively seeking an argument/a problem/ something to twist about.
A nap is a nap, stop being ridiculous and making up issues to cause friction about. If my husband had a problem with a nap I'd be giving him a good mouthful.
Honestly some people on here are pathetic.

I love naps! Excessive sleeping could hinder weight loss but not a nap. Also, you were intending to join too- so are you concerned about your own weight too or are only overweight people banned from napping? Why didn't you also nap once you had sorted your child, instead of googling random facts?

I nap during the day on my days off. It’s actually good for you

That's awful, I'm so sorry

If someone feels tired abd has time to sleep, they should sleep. Its not a moral failing for heaven's sake. Nor do you get a trophy for staying awake all day.
What should happen though is you each get time to rest.

At least he'll be well rested to get up with the baby during the night so you can catch up with your sleep.

I think napping during the day unless you're a small child or ill is pretty odd. I've had insomnia for years, but if I tired to nap during the day it would make it worse and I'd feel like shit. My DH is a serial napper (in fact he's been napping for the past hour). It's never occurred to me to comment on it or try to stop him. If we had a baby and he was napping to get out of looking after feeding and changing I'd feel differently!

A one off nap on a random day off when you also wanted to nap wouldn’t bother me. If he has lots of days off and naps to get out of childcare it would.

You should have had a nap after if you need one.

It won’t do anything to his weight loss! Can you link to what you read?

I love a nap and can't imagine my DH ever dictating whether I am allowed to nap or not, provided we got equal down time. I lost 50lbs and napped at least 3 or 4 days a week - makes no difference whatsoever

But someone cutting out sugar (if they usually intake a lot of sugar) and someone with disrupted sleep from two small children might.

@Waheymum are you very tired? Do you feel like you would like to have the opportunity for naps / downtime of your choice but feel you can't?

Baby and toddler are definitely very difficult stages of parenting but fixating on your husband having one nap on his day off either indicates that you are also very tired and jealous of him going off to rest, OR you feel that he does this a lot and always leaves you with the baby OR you need to figure out how to assert yourself better so that you get the same sort of "breaks" as well.

Monitoring someone's naps like this is quite strange. Lots of people have naps for many reasons. If you want to have one, make it happen.

Also, stop trying to control his weight loss. Your monitoring sounds suffocating. It's his journey to manage - you are there to support, not dictate.

I mean in general the odd nap isn't an issue, is it more that he just decides to nap as and when he wants and just doesn't even consider whether you want one? Doesn't give you time for one?
are you the one pushing his weight loss? Cutting out sugar gives you headaches and makes you tired yet you seem more bothered about him napping hindering his weight loss

Let him have a fucking nap!

why wouldn’t you?

genuinely, do you WANT your relationship to implode @Waheymum