To think DH shouldn't be napping in the daytime?

[Waheymum]

My DH doesn't have work today. I appreciate that we are both tired with a baby and a toddler, but today we got back from toddler group with the toddler asleep. He went for a nap, I tried to join him but the baby was wide awake, did a poo, had to be changed, wanted more milk. DH is overweight but currently on a 'lifestyle change' meaning he's cutting most sugar out of his diet and does exercises in the evening (during ad breaks). Because I'm awake anyway, I've looked up whether daytime naps hinder weight loss and lo and behold, they do.

AIBU to think DH should stay awake from when he gets up until bedtime?

Having a nap when you have a baby and toddler is honestly just sensible if you get chance.

DH and I would take turns! Plenty of my friends napped when they had small children. Especially small children who don't sleep well at night!

Just make sure you get chance to as well if you want to.

You have a baby and toddler, not surprising he is tired. You also wanted to nap.

Leave him be. It's hot.

You sound obsessed, it's one nap.

I don't know.
There's nothing inherently wrong with a person having a nap if there's nothing else to do I suppose and he's not doing anything wrong but it is oddly a turn-off so I see where you're coming from.

My dh has a nap every Friday after work. He works half day on a Friday due to a longed compressed week. I’d rather he had a nap than was tired over the weekend. I’m not a napper as it makes me feel worse when I wake. But if I had young dc and we both wanted one then we’d take turns.

AIBU to think DH should stay awake from when he gets up until bedtime?

Yes YABU and a hypocrite because you also tried to have a nap but got disturbed, that’s the only reason you didn’t end up napping yourself

He isn’t unreasonable to nap during the day if he’s tired, he is unreasonable to nap during the day and not make sure you have equal opportunities to do so if you are also tired.
On Saturday I got to about 1.30pm and just had to go and have a lie down (early 40’s). The juggle of working, organising transitions days, summer holiday childcare, uniforms, sports days, parents informations evenings and recent hot weather all caught up with me and I just felt so tired.
I always set an alarm and literally take an hour, I’d be upset if my husband resented me for taking an occasional nap.

Nothing wrong with a nap. My partner naps in the day but thrn his work hours are quite late sometimes finishing as late as 4am

I am thin, healthy and nap because its one of my joys in life. I come home, make tea, grab the dogs and we snooze in bed for an hour or two before I go to the gym or stables or whatever. Its my cosy time and I love it. I admit I do now feel disgruntled if I have things to do and can't but since I turned 50 I generally find i am able to refuse most things I don't want to do. Maybe the poor chap likes to switch off for a bit, I agree, take turns and switch off. It sounds like your life is quite tough at the moment, what could be nicer than a chance to escape for an hour or two

So if the baby didn't poo etc., you would have been napping with him? But because you didn't get to nap, your husband's nap is ruining his weightloss 😂

Just say you felt resentful rather than making out you're worried about his weightloss journey

I wouldn't be controlling when someone naps. And I wouldn't be holding it against them if they were tired.

If they leave everything to you then that's a pattern but as a one of (or even every so often), it is absolutely fine.

Strange and controlling behaviour on your part

Adults should listen to their bodies and nap if they want to nap. Other adults shouldn’t police this.
The issue is, both of you are tired. You should also have an opportunity to nap.

But you wanted to take a nap and couldn't due to your child being awake. If you feel that your other half shouldn't be napping then doesn't that rule also apply to you. I'm gonna take a guess that you're likely pissed off that he got a nap and you didn't

I love a nap and I wouldn’t say it hindered my weight loss at all - 3 stone in a year.

I think YABU and I don’t think it’d got anything to do with a nap hindering his weight loss, as you’ve said you were going to join him but baby was awake.

Naps consistently would be more of a concern. A nap a couple of times a week, not necessarily.
After all, you said you would have had a nap too had the baby been asleep.
Naps consistently for avoidance issues yes, pull him on it, but other factors are at play too - lifestyle changes are tough enough especially if he is cutting sugar/caffeine etc.
Encourage him to get bloods done. I had mine done last week and I have low iron and low B12 - this explains my exhaustion. Not to mention the heat.
Napping for more than an hour during the day isn’t healthy. I saw the time I survived on power naps though.
remember that men can also be just as sensitive than us so don’t just snap at him. Make it clear that you both need a rest and are tired.

I am confused but why will a nap hurt him? Especially when you go on a strict diet and you don’t eat much, it is very common to feel drained.

You sound massively controlling and envious.

One nap isn’t the end of the world, but it will feel like it if the offer isn’t reciprocated. We also have a toddler and a four month old and we will often say to each other “you go up and have an hour” and vice versa.

I really think you should allow your husband to decide if he naps during the day . But he can’t be doing any proper exercise during “ad breaks”

Nothing wrong with a nap if the chance arises, but I'd be concerned if he was overly tired all the time as others have said too

However if he wants to lose weight then just cutting out sugar and exercising in as breaks will likely not be enough. Realistically, how much TV can people watch in an evening, perhaps a couple of hours at most? Just jumping up during ads will not lead to sustained cardio exercise that he will need. Cutting out sugar is good, but he may well be still eating too many calories. Get him to log everything in my fitness pal or similar. Once he starts losing weight he may be less sleepy anyway!

And if they did, people would say "What's the point of you posting this? Is this just a humble brag?" 🤣

Yabu. Unless he is taking a three hour nap every single day, a nap isn’t going to hurt him and isn’t abnormal. You said it yourself, you would have joined him had the baby not woke up. So would have been ok if you had been able to sleep too? Of course, if this always happens, as in he gets to nap in the day and you don’t cos of attending to baby then that’s not fair. But don’t grudge him a nap just cos you’re in a huff. Looking up whether it affects weightloss is a bit spiteful.

You sound a little controlling with your attitude, if he needs a rest especially if you have young children, then he should be allowed to, he shouldn’t need your permission either. What’s the alternative- he stays tired and gets stressed and grumpy?!