Drunk messages from friend about staying at her house last weekend

[Footballjess]

I have woken up to my friend sending me a series of really shitty messages late last night/into early hours - obviously been drinking.

Last weekend, I stayed over at hers and her husband’s with my DH (they live about an hour away and we were watching the football which started late).

DH and I started to have sex when I realised my totm had started early so we stopped. There was a little bit of mess on the bed which I did my best to clean but had to tell my friend the next day and I offered to buy new sheets.

She was fine at the time and said not to worry. Her messages have called me all sorts, said I was disgusting to have sex when in her spare bedroom and that I should have known it wasn’t the right time.

I am really taken aback by the messages and haven’t replied yet. I’m thinking of just leaving it until she sobers up and hopefully apologises?

But it's just sex!!! How's it disrespectful?! I'm honestly baffled.

She said no out of politeness.

This sort of situation is where you just strip everything off without asking instead of making the host deal with your bodily secretions.

That’s what I would have done. Hot water and some hand soap in the bathroom, she would have been none the wiser.

I’d bin off the friend though, no one needs a friend that sends nasty messages, drunk or not.

💯

Just as you don’t expect guests to start cooking when they come over for dinner, you don’t expect them to start using your washing machine either (without permission).

This

I wouldn’t have been having sex in her house but I don’t think you should have told her! If I’d bled onto the sheets due to my period I’d have stripped the bed and washed them.

She has called me, she sounded absolutely mortified and was beyond apologetic. She said she had been drinking heavily after a big row with her hubby. She said she had no issue with what happened and that she was just feeling crap about her relationship so took it out on me. Life is too short so I’ve accepted her apology.

Bullshit. The whole thing.

I never understand when people do things they apparently don’t mean when they’re drunk. I did a lot of drinking in my younger days, and never turned into a different person, being angry about things I’m not really angry about. I think people use it as an excuse but it never sits right with me.

That’s disgusting. Why would you have sex in someone else’s house. You couldn’t control yourselves for one night? You should be apologising. Don’t expect to be invited again. You are very disrespectful

Sure Jan.

Some of your comments are really horrible op. It’s like you are trying to make yourself feel superior. No one gives a shit you have sex, nor is your friend jealous of you, your mess, your period, your sex life or “sorting your husband out” nor do the 10 million people on here have sex once a year as a treat or over come with prudishness,

in attempting to appear Cool and superior you come across like an immature knob.

I'm glad it's all sorted out, despite your inappropriate sordid lustful brazen shameful carnal pursuits.

You don't offer
You just do it

I'm properly laughing at the people who think it's unacceptable to have sex in bed at night in someone else's home.

Absolutely this. I'd send her new sheets.

How convenient.

Why would new sheets be needed? You just needed to strip the bed and offer to put the sheet in the washing machine because there was a stain on it. Surely people aren't buying new bed linens whenever there's a small accident like that.
Ignore your friend's drunken insults unless she raises the subject.

This thread has reminded me of a time we had bil and sil to stay and in the morning sil told me there was "a little bit of mess on the sheets". When I when up I discovered someone had fully wee-ed and pooed in the bed, and left it to soak into the mattress. I wasn't pleased.

I guess I don't understand why you wouldn't have immediately stripped the bed before discussing with your friend? Most adults don't leave other adults to clean up their bodily fluids, it isn't reasonable. I wonder if your friend felt it was hospitable to say she'd sort it, where as if you'd said "Sorry, I got my period last night. I've stripped the bed, can I pop these in the washer" she would have agreed?

@Stompythedinosaur was it their toddler in bed with them??