Drunk messages from friend about staying at her house last weekend

[Footballjess]

I have woken up to my friend sending me a series of really shitty messages late last night/into early hours - obviously been drinking.

Last weekend, I stayed over at hers and her husband’s with my DH (they live about an hour away and we were watching the football which started late).

DH and I started to have sex when I realised my totm had started early so we stopped. There was a little bit of mess on the bed which I did my best to clean but had to tell my friend the next day and I offered to buy new sheets.

She was fine at the time and said not to worry. Her messages have called me all sorts, said I was disgusting to have sex when in her spare bedroom and that I should have known it wasn’t the right time.

I am really taken aback by the messages and haven’t replied yet. I’m thinking of just leaving it until she sobers up and hopefully apologises?

Why did you tell her you were having sex in her spare room? Surely it's enough to just tell her that your period has started?

Leave it, let her apologise. And maybe then distance yourself from someone who is so judgmental and thinks it's OK to be verbally abusive when drunk.

We have always been very open with each other, I didn’t think she’d care.

Surely you would have just mentioned the early period and missed out the sex part.

How odd.

Her drunk messaging of you a while later is also odd, I imagine she's been talking over the situation with someone and they've got her all riled up and she then used Dutch Courage to message you. Not pleasant at all.

She should apologise if she was rude but I wouldn't like it if someone had sex in my house. Or leave a mess.

Same as I wouldn't do that in someone else's home.

I'm wondering if it was more mess then you're letting on. Why did you leave any mess at all, why didn't you strip the bed and rinse the bedding and put it in the wash ?

Why on earth did you tell her that? I think it's gross having sex in someone's house if you're only there overnight, honestly. I'd be pissed off too. If you just accidentally started your period fine. I would have looked at the label on the sheets then and there and ordered an identical new set online, and told her they were already on their way.

I'd message her today and ask if she wants to talk.

Sounds like she has been stewing on this since last week and it all came out when she was drunk

I don't think you handled it well at the time and maybe reconsider how much you over share in future.

Did you at least strip the bed and put the sheets in the washing machine for her so she didn't have to touch them?!

May I ask why you would find it gross?

I offered and she told me not to 😬

You are asking why people would find others sex secretions on their sheets gross? Really? It’s something that is okay to do in a hotel but not someone’s house.

The period thing is whatever - it happens. But I wouldn’t have sex in my friends house if I was just staying one night- and I certainly wouldn’t have told her the blood on her sheets was because I’d come on during sex - and I’m no prude.

It's a bit odd that you like to think of each other shagging in the next room. Are you sure it hasn't been you oversharing and this is her reaction, because she's reached her limit? On an overnight stay at someone's house, refrain from sex.

Bloody hell id be mortified if someone felt they couldn’t have sex at my house!

I’d certainly leave it for a bit for now. But I’m not sure this is salvageable.

Send new sheets now with no further comment.

I think this is quite odd. You could have taken the sheets off and put them in the wash for her. No need to say anything about sex.

There’s nothing wrong with having sex unless you’re screaming and banging the headboard or generally stopping other people sleeping.
But I would have stripped the bed and rinsed the sheets without asking. It’s not fair that your friend should have to do this. If you asked, of course she’s going to say no, you’re guests.
If they’re stained I’d have sent a replacement by now. It’s not ok that she text you whilst drunk but I’d be ordering a new sheet to arrive at hers asap. Then let her say thank you and move on.

You should have stripped the bed at least. You shouldn't have "offered" to do it. You should have just done it.

You were unreasonable to leave her to deal with your mess, even if she (out of politeness) said she didn't mind. Obviously she did mind and understandably so.

You acted very unreasonably.

This!

Because sex is private and you have many other nights you could do it and could have chosen not to tell her. You aren't 18, noone talks about sex as adults once we have it figured out and if we do, it's as a conversation about something specific, not "I was having sex in the sheets you're going to wash".

This is all a bit grim really isn’t it.

I mean, yes sex happens and yes periods leak onto bed sheets - all very normal. But having sex in someone else’s house is a bit yucky and bloody bed sheets really should be stripped and replacements ordered straight away with a massive apology next morning. I certainly wouldn’t have mentioned the sex though, why on earth did you do that? 😆

No, your friend has not behaved at all well, so I am not going to defend her rudeness at calling you with ranty angry texts, but I can understand why she was pissed off.

I can’t believe you didn’t even strip the bed, it’s frankly disgusting that you left your poor friend to clean up your mess.

Bloody hell- I’m amazed at the number of people outraged at a married couple having sex in someone else’s home. It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest- I understand if they were making a racket.

this thread really shows how uptight many people are about sex.

the reaction is completely illogical- so it’s ok to shit in someone’s toilet ( with doors closed, in private) but not ok to have sex?

obviously - don’t leave a mess to clean up in either situation, but the ‘mess’ was period blood. And surely you just stick it straight in the washing machine??

Two bad mannered people with crap boundaries. Like attracts like.

No wonder your friend is annoyed yes early period's happen but to mention the sex bit is a bit to much. You could have just said you started your period and left it at that