AIBU to buy my daughter's boyfriend a replacement phone?

[AboutAPhone]

Sooo…name change and a few altered details for privacy. If I get found I don’t want people to see all of my other posts.

Simple one though really. My DD’s boyfriend has a really old phone and it just doesn’t work anymore. Constantly needs to be hooked up to a powerbank, and just useless. I suspect that his parents don’t use have the money around to buy a new one, but I do and I don’t mind.

I just wonder if I would be overstepping to get him one. I don’t want to offend his parents, I get on well with them, but I just don’t know how to help out without causing an issue. They’re both 17, no jobs yet as they have a very long commute to college and very little spare time to work until they finish next year and go to uni or start working full time, so can’t buy it themselves. Also no birthday or anniversary so I can’t slide the money to my DD to buy it for him as a present.

AIBU to buy one. Just the lowest functioning iPhone would be an upgrade so wouldn’t be spending megabucks.

Get an Android phone. Far more spec for the same price as a basic iPhone

No I don't think this is appropriate. This is not your problem to solve OP. He and his family need to sort this one out between them. A phone is in no way essential and like others have said if he is desperate then there are cheaper alternatives.

I’d be uncomfortable if my DC

Can you upgrade your own and gift your old one? Win win

Why do people keep suggesting android? OP has explained why kids/people generally don’t switch between them. It’s too much hassle.
@AboutAPhone I’d buy a second hand version of the model your DD has from CEX/Giff Gaff then lie to both and say Fred at work or Aunty Mary had an old one lying around, would he like to have it. Then you shoulder the lie and DD and her BF are none the wiser. You could say ‘oh Gary is your phone dead again. Actually Fred/Mary mentioned an old phone asking if DD wanted it. They were going to just give it to (What do people do with old phones, mine go in a drawer, get given to other people in similar circumstances) x . If they’ve still got it I’ll see if you can have it’. Keep it low key. You could message his parents to check they’re ok with it before offering?

You risk embarrassing his family.
They will see you as Lady Bountiful.

Where will it stop? What next? Driving lessons? Old car?
He's already on holiday with you, presumably all paid for by you.

If you are worried about your D being uncontactable, the best thing to do is make sure she charges her own phone, behaves responsibly with it, and is with a provider where the range for the signal is one of the best.

because its not that much hassle in the grand scheme of things and if he cant afford an apple, its worth investing the time/effort involved to switch over his apps etc to a more afforable phone.

Thats abit overkill....they arent 10...teenagers are more robust these days...my dd lies for me all the time...we laugh about it

I’m saying YABU because he is a young man and you are being patronising about his ability to manage his own destiny. He might well be a completely competent young man prioritising something else right now, and I would respect his choices, not treat him as an incompetent child. He hasn’t asked you for a phone, just make sure your daughter has a battery pack.

Ah right, fair i was just wondering.

I bought my son’s girlfriend a new phone after her little brother broke hers and her parents refused to buy her a new one. They’re 17 and have been together nearly three years and I’m very close to her. Her parents have never said anything to me but they are a bit useless in general tbh. I would do it if i were you, you sound lovely and very generous! I agree with what other people have suggested - say it’s an old phone you had around the house. I’m sure he’d be very grateful

The way I have seen this done is you , your partner or your DD gets an upgrade and you offer the spare one to the boyfriend- it's much less of a charity looking thing, as the driver is someone wanting an upgrade- if no one needs/wants an upgrade buy him an android phone, it does the same things and is about a quarter of the price.

Could you buy a modest phone and ’lend’ it to him?

It's a nice thought but I would make it more "casual".

He might have a family against buying expensive mobiles for children or not even allowing them for example.
You need to respect that your gift might create an issue rather than a solution.

I'd but something second hand of the same level of his current phone at Amazon resale or pawnbroker, and say it's your spare phone if he'd like to keep it. Should he say no you can return it with no hassle

An expensive gift in the wrong hands might fly away before it's even appreciated. If his family is desperate they might sell it, some friends steal it and so on. In the best scenario they wouldn't understand.

Also I think it would definitely embarrass him if his status is totally different. For the low earners it might look like an expensive show off of wealth, even leading to resentment for your well being.

That's what I would do.

Could you not ask him to do jobs when hes at yours to earn money for example cutting grass etc to get phone

Like a "handyman" ?