AIBU to buy my daughter's boyfriend a replacement phone?

[AboutAPhone]

Sooo…name change and a few altered details for privacy. If I get found I don’t want people to see all of my other posts.

Simple one though really. My DD’s boyfriend has a really old phone and it just doesn’t work anymore. Constantly needs to be hooked up to a powerbank, and just useless. I suspect that his parents don’t use have the money around to buy a new one, but I do and I don’t mind.

I just wonder if I would be overstepping to get him one. I don’t want to offend his parents, I get on well with them, but I just don’t know how to help out without causing an issue. They’re both 17, no jobs yet as they have a very long commute to college and very little spare time to work until they finish next year and go to uni or start working full time, so can’t buy it themselves. Also no birthday or anniversary so I can’t slide the money to my DD to buy it for him as a present.

AIBU to buy one. Just the lowest functioning iPhone would be an upgrade so wouldn’t be spending megabucks.

Buy a reconditioned phone and say a friend of yours asked if you could make use of it as they've received a free upgrade.
That way it doesn't look suspicious!

But casually - ' oh my mum said do you want her old phone as she's got a new one and can't be bothered to sell it on. '

Just buy a refurbished one off of music magpie or similar and present it to him explaining you’ve found it at the back of a drawer and ask him if he wants it.
If it’s one that’s a good few years behind the current model he’d have no reason to suspect you’ve brought it for him specifically.
I would ask his parents if they mind you offering him a phone, but at 17 he is almost an adult so can’t see why they would say no as long as it’s not work £000’s.
I brought a refurbished iPhone 11 for my Son, it was just over £100, they guarantee the battery life etc

I think OP knows he's not her responsibility. She's trying to do a kind thing for a kid she likes.

Could he do some odd jobs at your home……gardening, cleaning the car, washing the windows, clearing out the shed or garage……then pay home with the new phone? Just a suggestion to help the young guy out and who would want their child to be able to contact them if they were in trouble.

Oh and I also wouldn't tell your daughter that the truth behind the reconditioned 'gifted from a friend' phone. That way she's innocent in all of this and if they ever split, there's no comeback on her mum bought him.a phone etc

HIM not home 🙄

I'd get one from CEX or wherever & tell his parents you had it laying around would it be ok for him to have it. I have 3 sons. If any of their gfs mum did a loving, kind gesture like this i'd be so thankful. I would however not be comfortable with a brand spanking new one due to the price and cost to yourself.

Hi op I would get one give it to your dd say mums friend in work says she doesn’t need this phone now do u want it? She said she would rather know someone can make use of it than Cex making a profit from her.

My DS girlfriend was in same position, but her home life had deteriorated so badly so quickly she actually moved in with us after about 4months they met. Her phone was appalling!

I gave her my old work iPhone 12. Upgrade your phone or your dd’s and give the old one to him. No brainer. It’s not over reaching, it’s kindness and it sounds like he could do with some. I agree that it’s good for them to have a back up phone when the 2 of them are out

Hang on. Can he afford an iPhone contract?

This is what i would do! Or buy myself a new one and offer him the old one

I would do this but it would be a used/second hand one for not much money.

Sorry i meant ask him why he hasn't gone for an upgrade?

Could you ask him to help out with something and this be the payment for it? Maybe buy a secondhand one from CEX?

I've bought things for dd's boyfriend that have been out of his reach necessities and just passed them off as cast offs/things family members no longer needed or things I've upgraded on. All gratefully received with no questions asked.

I think that it would be kind to get him a replacement mobile, OP.

I wouldn't get a much later version, though, just maybe the next version after what he has.

There is a store called CEX near where I live.

You could get one from them and just tell him you saw it online and snapped it up.

I think he will just be pleased to have a working phone.

https://uk.webuy.com/search?productLineId=113&productLineName=iPhones&availability=In+Stock+Online~In+Stock+In+Store

Could you upgrade your daughters phone as a reward for finishing school and suggest she offers him her old one as it is no longer needed assuming her current one is better than his current one?

If I did it, I would say it was a ‘free’ phone that came with my contract renewal but obviously don’t need it because current phone is fine… and would he like it? Ie. White lie. Then parents can’t get offended, BF has a functioning phone, and everyone is none the wiser…

Why don’t you just pay for the battery to be replaced?

This is the perfect answer. You can't buy him a phone, it's far too much coming from your partner's parents. But you absolutely can offer him an old phone if someone is upgrading 🤷‍♀️

It's lovely that you want to help him out.

Christ no. At 17 I'd have been mortified if my parents done that for one of those silly sixth form schlub boys I was dating. Also if I was parenting a 17 year old, it depends on the kid and circumstances but there are various reasons I might actually prefer them to have a slightly rubbish phone, none of which are to do with me not being able to afford a new one for them, and I would be mightily pissed off if someone else upgraded it for him.

If you want to do it quietly this would be the best way to go about it I think.

Lots saying it's overstepping but I think it's a lovely idea, keeping your daughter a smidge safer too 😊

I would buy myself/husband/child a new one and give the old one to the boyfriend then it just seems like you are giving him something that otherwise would have gone to waste.

Buy a second hand one from CEX or music magpie and say it was lying around did he want it. That’s way you aren’t overstepping but he something he needs