AIBU to refuse a tenant because she bullied my friends?

155 replies

RiverWashed · 01/07/2026 18:51

We are landlords and one of our properties became available for rent recently. When we went to show the house, the applicant was someone I’d been at school with who bullied one of my friends, and a few other girls. I don’t think she recognised me, if she did she didn’t say. She told me that she had applied for 4 houses but missed out and was really desperate for this one to keep her kids at the same school, be close to work etc.

Would you hold grudge and not rent to her? I think I’m going to. I can find another tenant and she was such a nasty bitch. It didn’t stop at school either, it continued at college and she worked with another school friend at a pub til she was mid 20s and was still horrible then. I’ve been thinking back about the bullying she did and thinking I don’t want to rent to her. By mid 20s she should have known better and the bullying was really bad. My friend at school suffered serious mental health issues due to the bullying and it impacted her exams and whole life even now really, although I don’t see her often now as we don’t live close to each other but we keep in touch,

I know it’s petty and we are in our 30s now but AIBU not to rent to her?

OP posts:

Esmereldapawpatrol · 02/07/2026 10:05

YANBU. Maybe if it was just at school but sounds as though she's not a nice person. Wouldn't want her in my house. Karma's a bitch!

Someone who bullied me sent her CV in for a job I was recruiting for...went straight in the bin!

DJPJ · 02/07/2026 10:59

cookbookjunkie · 01/07/2026 19:34

You could just send her a message and 'say

'Thanks for your interest in the house. I don't know whether you realised but remember you very well from school. You are not really the sort of person I am looking for so I'll be giving the house to someone else. Good luck finding somewhere.'

Short, sweet, loaded with meaning.

Don’t do this unless you want a brick through your window and to be always looking over your shoulder.

Just reject her neutrally and professionally.

She would likely be a nightmare tenant and her DCs might be troubled too.

Livpool · 02/07/2026 11:25

I wouldn’t rent to her. If she was still a bully in her 20s she won’t have suddenly have become nice. She’ll be a nightmare tenant.

Tigerbalmshark · 03/07/2026 00:15

Hotlipshoolahan · 01/07/2026 19:42

Are you from the past? Private rents are now so expensive because there is massive undersupply compared to demand. Not being successful on four properties doesn’t mean anything when so many people are bidding on properties. She very well may not have even got to the stage of her credit or references being checked.

You wouldn’t think there ‘must be something wrong with someone’ if they were not successful in their bids to buy four houses, and it’s the same with renting now.

Show quote history

Current landlord actually. Your local rental market must be pretty different to mine.

Bollihobs · 03/07/2026 00:49

LightlyRoamingOcelots · 01/07/2026 19:00

Well I'd hate to be judged in my 30s for the mistakes I made before I was 25.

You certainly shouldn't rent to her just forgetting this issue because if you do the fact that you think so ill of her will impact the landlord-tenant relationship and cause problems.

It would take huge courage to do this but could you actually talk to her about how much damage she did to your friend? Could you consider that if she has genuine remorse and asks and recieves forgiveness from your friend then you might also be able to forgive?

Sometimes we aren't strong enough not to hold a grudge, but holding a grudge damages you more than it damages the person you are resenting so it's worth trying to find reconciliation if you have the strength.

This is absolutely dreadful advice. Please don't even entertain doing this OP.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7