AIBU to refuse a tenant because she bullied my friends?

[RiverWashed]

We are landlords and one of our properties became available for rent recently. When we went to show the house, the applicant was someone I’d been at school with who bullied one of my friends, and a few other girls. I don’t think she recognised me, if she did she didn’t say. She told me that she had applied for 4 houses but missed out and was really desperate for this one to keep her kids at the same school, be close to work etc.

Would you hold grudge and not rent to her? I think I’m going to. I can find another tenant and she was such a nasty bitch. It didn’t stop at school either, it continued at college and she worked with another school friend at a pub til she was mid 20s and was still horrible then. I’ve been thinking back about the bullying she did and thinking I don’t want to rent to her. By mid 20s she should have known better and the bullying was really bad. My friend at school suffered serious mental health issues due to the bullying and it impacted her exams and whole life even now really, although I don’t see her often now as we don’t live close to each other but we keep in touch,

I know it’s petty and we are in our 30s now but AIBU not to rent to her?

I wouldn’t rent to her but I’d justify it with the fact she has shown an absolute lack of caring about how others feel. There is huge potential for her to be a nightmare tenant

You'd have to be insane to rent to such a nasty piece of work.

If she was still being awful at 25 she’ll still be horrid at 35. Find someone else OP, she’s trouble.

You’re clearly upset from seeing her again. Renting to her would just cause repeated exposure to stress you don’t need. Her actions have already caused damage to various people so don’t do it.

Don't rent to her.

Nope - you know what she’s capable of - she could well be a nightmare tenant. She knows who you are. She’s just hoping you don’t remember her.

God yes I’d refuse her and I’d personally inform her why. Love seeing bullies get their comeuppance no matter how many years later.

I'm a landlord.
I wouldn't rent to her.

I'm a landlord

I wouldn't. I agree with pps that she could be trouble,due to her having that personality type albeit the main reason would be that bullies need cuppupence. What is that old tale about the old man, god and the storm? I am not religious but I believe it applies(albeit in reverse!) Here.

I would not pick her, she will be showing her true colours soon enough and causing you hassle.

No it's not, it's sensible.

She was trouble in her teens, she was trouble in her twenties, and the chances are she will be trouble now.

She told me that she had applied for 4 houses but missed out and was really desperate for this one.
Maybe other people in the area remember her???

Don't rent to her @RiverWashed.

And don't give her any more headspace.

I think karma needs to play out here.

I unfortunately sold my house to a similar character. We were desperate and did not have much choice as a previous sale fell through. They were initially nice but got worse and worse and very toxic when the sale (eventually) went through.

Awful people known for all sorts (heard a lot more after the sale).

Definitely do not rent to her. She would inevitably be a nightmare. Well done for putting your friend first. It is not a grudge at all. It shows empathy and true friendship.

I'd refuse to rent to her and I'd tell her why. Honestly, I'd be telling her that any impact on her kids is directly her fault for being such a nasty bitch. What goes around, comes around. She wanted to hurt someone, well now she finds out that it's her own children she screwed over.

I hold grudges. I’ve got Irish grandparents, this is could be why.

Also wouldn’t rent to her (am a landlord too) it’s too much of a risk.Bullies can evolve into skilled manipulators in adulthood (in this context think problems with paying rent disguised as ‘family emergencies’ and the like).
I wouldn’t mention the past to her, have the satisfaction of being her 5th rejection.

• this could be why.

Terrible advice.

This one may have to fly around in circles.

You’d hate it sure. It’s called consequences.

I believe that bullies can change. I think that life can throw lessons that make them evolve.

I was badly physically bullied as a Y7 student on the bus to and from school until another student reported it, so I don't say this wanting all bullies forgiven.

However this woman has turned out I would not want to have my bullies, or those to my nerdy friends, back in my life in any significant way. You should turn her down, not in revenge but because that's a chapter in you and your friend's lives that you don't need to revisit. You don't have to say anything except you're going with a different applicant.

I had to assist one of my bullies years later after a car accident he was in, just very shaken and I waited with him until his family came to collect him (thanks dad for bringing him back to ours after you recognised him as a customer's son). I've heard he turned out a lovely man, but I'd never want to get a coffee with him...

I'd charge her extra and use the difference to buy treats and experiences for her victims.

If you've never been bullied you wouldn't understand. I was bullied at school by a succession of different girls who randomly took a dislike to me. Saw one bully some 40 years later. Of course she didn't remember me but I had such a reaction it took me instantly back to my childhood.

I would turn her down. People don't change that much.

If she is such a bully she might easily fall out with the neighbours and piss them off. The last thing you want is a bolshy tenant AND whinging neighbours.

Nope. Tough tits if you treat people like shit and find people not wanting to help you because of it later down the line. I was bullied horrendously, it tore apart my life as a teenager and the effects of it carried well into adulthood.

I remember several years back when I saw one of them outside a local shop. He was the popular good looking boy at school, and would humiliate me in front of other people and pick on me for my own looks, and what I was wearing as I was into the rock scene at the time which made me a target despite the fact I wouldn’t say boo to a goose. It made me absolutely thrilled to see he had morphed into a complete minger and when he referenced me by name and asked for a fag (having clearly watched me just buy them) to say “absolutely not” and walk off. Such a small thing but the feeling was cathartic lol

Don't give her a tenancy but do not give a reason - you don't have to give a reason and you will be making a rod for your own back if you bring up the past.

Of course you shouldn't rent to her. Mainly out of loyalty to your friend and secondly you know she isn't a nice person so she could easily muck you around too. You reap what you sow in life.