AIBU to refuse a tenant because she bullied my friends?

[RiverWashed]

We are landlords and one of our properties became available for rent recently. When we went to show the house, the applicant was someone I’d been at school with who bullied one of my friends, and a few other girls. I don’t think she recognised me, if she did she didn’t say. She told me that she had applied for 4 houses but missed out and was really desperate for this one to keep her kids at the same school, be close to work etc.

Would you hold grudge and not rent to her? I think I’m going to. I can find another tenant and she was such a nasty bitch. It didn’t stop at school either, it continued at college and she worked with another school friend at a pub til she was mid 20s and was still horrible then. I’ve been thinking back about the bullying she did and thinking I don’t want to rent to her. By mid 20s she should have known better and the bullying was really bad. My friend at school suffered serious mental health issues due to the bullying and it impacted her exams and whole life even now really, although I don’t see her often now as we don’t live close to each other but we keep in touch,

I know it’s petty and we are in our 30s now but AIBU not to rent to her?

The only case I can see for renting to her would be if you were having great difficulty finding a tenant. Sometimes you have to make business decisions which are different from your personal preference, and suck up the discomfort. Fortunately, in this case I am sure you can easily find someone else, so you can do what feels right!

As others have said, even if you did force yourself to take her on, the landlord-tenant relationship would have got off to a bad start, and that is best avoided if at all possible.

Yeah no she deserves the karma. Bullies are the worst. It would be a hard no from me.

You reap what you sow - her horrible actions have consequences and I’d be inclined to do the same OP! Your poor friend 💜

It really is refreshing that many people do change and become better people, not all.

A girl who used to bully me, not extreme, no reason, but knocked my confidence, has no recollection of it. Others as well, just put downs, don't remember.

What is a part of personality and done all the time to many others seems to be part of just part of growing up when they were basically horrible.

These individuals don't have the same capacity for self responsibility and will most likely raise you a few issues because they're inherently defensive, brazen etc.

However, as I said, many do change and grow up.

Live by the sword die by the sword. Assuming you can easily get other tenants I’d refuse without qualms. Bullies are scum and I don’t care if she’s Mother Teresa these days.

Nope. Someone nice will rent from you. Bullies don’t change their spots. She can jog on.
I refused to sell a horse to someone who bullied me at school. She had no clue who I was. I will never forget her.

Sorry. The post duplicated.

Well I'd hate to be judged in my 30s for the mistakes I made before I was 25.

Bullying repeatedly isn’t a “mistake”, it’s a deliberate choice to make someone else’s life miserable.

I would but I'm petty

I don't think it would be sensible to take on a tenant who you know first hand was unpleasant and unreasonable as late as her twenties. She might be very difficult to deal with if there are any problems or disagreements. It's not revenge. And there will be many other people looking to rent your property who also have needs.

I don't know...bullying leaves permanent scars & changes people for ever.

It isn't tackled properly in children, which means bullying becomes accepted and people don't know how to deal with it as adults, and then it's encountered in the workplace. Bullying ruins lives.

I agree with the consensus.
Plenty of safer nicer tenants available.
Just to add ime some of the worst school bullies were staff...

@LightlyRoamingOcelots: Well I'd hate to be judged in my 30s for the mistakes I made before I was 25.

Yes, I am sure you would. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be. Actions have consequences.

I got bullied at school & if I was a landlord I wouldn't rent to them. She could also end up being trouble as somebody else said. They will turn on the waterworks and everything, every sob story going to get a set of keys in their hands. I've seen a friend do this when it comes to needing money, every sob sttory going and doesn't pay it back.
Anyway I'm digressing.
Bullies rarely change so kalma is a bitch they say. Find another tenant.

My view on bullies is: are they still like that/ have they changed?

I've met people years after school, some who are the most lovely people now but we're awful as teenagers. And some who are very much the same person.

That's my bellwether. Have they grown up and become decent people. Or are they still a nasty bully.

I mean adults bullying pupils.
Not staff to staff. Although I'm sure that happens too.
But my memories are from childhood.

How’s OP going to establish that from showing them around her property

@RiverWashed are you aware there are new regulations you need to follow as a landlord ? You cannot just reject her she can complaint (especially if shes under benefits etc) and you might end up with a penalty

have you done the Training? Worth checking ..

No. Yanbu and please don't rent to this nasty bully. Find another tenant. Not worth the drama.

Fuck her off

You have a big advantage here. She has written her own character reference. You know what it says. If you didn’t know her would you want someone like her as a tenant?

Actions have consequences, it would be a no from me.

An elderly family friend asked me to help her select a cleaner and I was surprised to see my childhood bully had applied. Naturally I sat with Aunty Dot and we interviewed my bully together. No she didn’t get the job. I thought it would be fun but to be honest it just brought back bad memories. Surprisingly for me the bully didn’t seem to show much shame for or recollection of her actions. I found out afterwards that is often common with bullies. So she may not remember her painful actions.

Its normal for landlords to use red and green flags to screen potential tenants; anyone who has continued to be the school bully past the age of 14 has screened themselves out.

I don't believe they change. SIL bullied me and set MIL into vicious motion as well. SIL is sweet and kind to me now, and gushes about how much her parents' ill health has cost me. It's never crossed her mind she did something wrong, she doesn't even remember I refused to go to her 21st after she ruined my wedding with her nastiness. I've tolerated her quietly & avoided her, so no conflict. My MH isn't worth it.

I have been proven right recently. She hasn't changed. FIL has gone into care, and DH was told by the care home manager she's been harassing them with constant calls & demands to change GIL's care plan & the manager told DH he now refuses to take her calls. DH wasn't surprised.

Don't rent to her. She'll be nice until she wants something.

You friend would probably be gutted to learn you were renting your her. That would be reason enough to turn her down for me.