AIBU to think my daughter cannot afford this holiday abroad?

[ThisTealLeader]

Daughter (18) has booked a holiday with friends abroad, didn’t tell us the full amount and then lied about how much spending money she has. They are going bed and breakfast. She will have less than £200 spending money for a week’s holiday. She has used savings to pay for the holiday.
She is saying that her friend will be lending her money if she falls short, which she will I am sure.
My point is she is not being sensible with her money. She only works one day a week and so she cannot actually afford it and hasn’t thought it through.
I think she needs to cancel as it is irresponsible in my opinion to be going abroad with no backup. As far as I am aware she hasn’t booked travel insurance and is reluctant to do so as this will eat into her spending money.
Would like people’s thoughts on this?

Yes we have discussed ADHD with the GP but she decided not to move forward with the referral.

Absolutely nothing her dd will go either way id pay for her travel insurance and if I had the money id give one of her friends a couple of hundred to cover her as I wouldn't trust my dd to not blow it all on 1st night but id be majorly pissed of about the whole thing

In an ideal world, what do you want her to do OP? Stay home, not go and miss out? Would that make you happier?

She does sound erratic but this will be good for her, and if my vulnerable daughter was going on her first holiday I would rather she did it with travel insurance and a couple of hundred quid in her pocket.

I would tell her you are putting a lot of trust in her in going on this trip, but she needs to be vigilant, not lose her phone, money, passport, not to fall out with friends, not to be so rude at home. Let this be her trial run, if it goes well, you can put more trust in her.

Thanks for making me laugh! I know what you mean about go fund mes.

What holidays are teens going on these days that £200 is impossible? When I was that age it was all
about cheap beers on the beach and bread/cheese/random fruit from the shop or market.
Usually involves a guy with a guitar and different groups competing with their tales of… cheap travel to other places you can drink beer on the beech

the 90s were a better time!

Sorry OP I answered earlier without reading the whole thread. I understand now why you don’t want her to go. It’s not about the money. Whatever you do get her insurance.

Def pay for travel Insurance for her

why does she only work one day a week

What does she do the other 6

how much are her friends taking

I agree.

Make sure she takes empty water bottle to fill through security.
and some food/snacks.
we were really delayed on return flight from majorca like 5hrs so had to buy some 7.5€ meal deals. And buy water.

Maybe get her a post office card i think you can top that up on the app so could put more on during the week.

Get travel insurance but bear in mind may not be valid if drinking.

With her not having saved much for future can yiu say you put x% of earnings in savings but doesnt sound like she can afford to run a car with tax insurance and fuel..

That's the problem, you can't once they're 18. My DS turns 18 later this year and I know he wants to go away with his friends next summer...I'm dreading it.

She is at college for 4 days although finishes tomorrow.

She won’t tell me how much the friends as taking. Only that they will pay for her.

Me and her dad were trying to talk to her sensibly earlier and she was just laughing and relaying the conversation to her friends on Snapchat. They were then saying we won’t let you starve!

Why have you ignored so many posters emphasising travel insurance,are you going to ensure she has it ? If she is so irresponsible then it's even more crucial!

Yes I can buy travel insurance, that’s not really the point. The fact is she didn’t even know she needed it until I said!

Agreed. Actually maybe even scan them and have them on her/ your email.

No it won’t. If its an EU holiday £10 or less for a single trip.

OP I’d probably buy the travel insurance for my own peace of mind.

I think £200 is probably do-able if they are just sitting by the pool/on the beach all day then out at night. However I’d probably send her some if she ran out rather than offer it in advance

I 100% agree - there's young and there's young if you know what I mean. A PP quite rightly pointed out that people responding are projecting their own 18 year olds, graduating etc, whilst they were at police stations with their kid.

It hits differently when you need 3 extra brains to deal with just normal stuff with a ND child.

Ok so she couldn’t work more previously

but now needs to find more work

her friends sound nice so let her get on with it

yes you may bail her out when she’s away but see what happens

but yes hey her travel insurance as a nice thing to do

Tbh I think that’s alot of youngsters. I can see my Dad on the phone now arranging travel insurance for sensible me and my two sensible friends the day before we left for our first holiday. Thankfully he suddenly thought to ask me if we had it !!!

Thank you, it’s so hard 😢
Just feel like a crap mum. Would love to be looking forward to things like graduations and not court hearings.

I would buy travel insurance for her, but leave her to figure the rest out. It will be a lesson learned if she's skint while she's out there.

Buy some Insurance. You don't want her coming off a bike and having to do a GFM to get her home.
£200 for a week is £30 a day. Easily done if you eat chips every day, and it will build her resilience and knowledge about holidaying on a shoe string

Ok @ThisTealLeadermy completely normal absolutely Frait AA’s daughter suddenly dwveloped psychosis out of absolutely nowhere in December 2023… horrific .. floored us all .. became like a toddler that needed minding every where she went .. could drive but couldn’t out of safety .. needed minding .. turns out it was related to hormonal contraception but we didn’t know it then… she had been in a long term relationship (5 years) and just dumped it .. wanted to go travelling. As soon as she was on the mend..!I was mortified . I was a traveller in my 20s and early 30s . I know what it’s like .. but she was 20 , first year gap at University and I couldn’t stop her . She went to Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand .. and you know what ? It was the BEST THING she could have done for herself .. learned how to look after herself, take care of herself and most of all lost the self absorption .

She's 18, legally an adult. She can borrow money from whoever is happy to lend it to her. It's not up mummy to 'allow' it, or not.

Give her the opportunity to earn some money at home by cleaning cars, windows, doing the housework, ironing! She’s going to run out of money. can work give her more hours or she could do babysitting nearby, put unused stuff on eBay or vinted or just give her an early birthday/Christmas gift in form of money on travel card! She also really needs insurance why can’t you give her some money to go?
mare we all actually presuming that her friends are going to be able to lend her money they are probably same age in similar circumstances so if they have any money they will probably need it themselves and will probably have been given it by their parents and family your daughter will run out of money for food activities and taxis back to airport you need to at least discuss the essential things she will likely need to cover with her so she can account properly honestly I think you should at least double it and pay for the insurance for her. Explain pickpockets what to do if passports are lost, Google maps having postcode for hotel screenshot ready teach her what she needs to know so she’s ok rather than watch her fail.

If she was mine I’d pay for her travel insurance, carefully checking it covers her and make sure she has a GHIC card arriving before she goes. I wouldn’t be subbing for money more than that because you’d have covered the important bits to keep her safe if anything happened, and then she has to manage her budget herself there and learn from it.