AIBU to think my daughter cannot afford this holiday abroad?

[ThisTealLeader]

Daughter (18) has booked a holiday with friends abroad, didn’t tell us the full amount and then lied about how much spending money she has. They are going bed and breakfast. She will have less than £200 spending money for a week’s holiday. She has used savings to pay for the holiday.
She is saying that her friend will be lending her money if she falls short, which she will I am sure.
My point is she is not being sensible with her money. She only works one day a week and so she cannot actually afford it and hasn’t thought it through.
I think she needs to cancel as it is irresponsible in my opinion to be going abroad with no backup. As far as I am aware she hasn’t booked travel insurance and is reluctant to do so as this will eat into her spending money.
Would like people’s thoughts on this?

Incidentally, Spain is 122 euros per day

I wasn't wrong either! I was asked by the machines in Seville airport if I could prove that had £1200 in my account! I haven't read all the thread and don't know where the OPs daughter is going but I did not tell a lie! That's what the machine asked me! Because you weren't asked I'm Greece you think I'm a liar! I've just been to Poland and wasn't asked, I went Sri Lanka in Feb and wasn't but that doesn't mean I wasn't asked in April in Seville! When I go to Germany who knows if I'll get asked but it doesn't make me a liar about Seville!

Please get her some travel insurance, she really shouldn’t travel without that. Maybe go on line and do the application with her?

Oh give over. Maybe you should save your very knowledgeable advice for the actual European country in question not one over 2,500 miles away.

If there is a suspicion you may overstay your welcome and can’t support yourself with accommodation, food, maybe seeking illegal work etc you may be questioned in all EU countries.

An 18 year old with pre-booked accommodation and a supportive mum and dad doesn’t need your scare mongering.

Oh and I’m greek by the way with frequently travelling young people to Greece so feel somewhat more qualified to comment.

But I didn't know she was going to Greece, I don't know what the rules are in Greece but I was never a liar and didn't deserve to be told I was one by so many butthurt people. Nobidy should travel on minimal funds! If flights get cancelled or a fall results in a busted leg it can get expensive very quickly - bear in mind that a lot of these places will take you by ambulance to a private hospital before a state one.

If you can’t be bothered to at least read all OPS posts then don’t comment then.

I am neither screaming or getting ugly. I am presenting facts. How are you helping this mum make well-informed and sensible decisions? Hospital stays are covered by holiday insurance which the mum has indicated they would be willing to pay for.

It sounds as though your daughter needs to learn a few life lessons here. Let her make mistakes with money and friends. You telling her no will only cause her to rebel further and she's going to do it anyway regardless. I'd be pissed off in your shoes too but she will learn from her mistakes eventually.
She's spent all her trust fund which means yes she gets to go on holiday but the consequences of that means no money left for a car etc. Its a life choice and something she needs to learn.
Her friends might be happy to help pay for a few bits but after shes blown all her money in the first couple of days, they Will get pissed off with her. Let's hope she enjoys this holiday as I doubt they will ever invite her again.
Let her start standing on her own two feet. Yes if she loses something on holiday, she will have to sort it out! I'd secretly buy her a cheap travel insurance though just for piece of mind.
As for home life, you need to stop enabling her behaviour. Set some ground rules and stick to them! Fund absolutely NOTHING from now on until she starts contributing fairly to home life. She needs to pull her weight. No washing, clearing up after her etc definitely no phone bill paying or subscriptions of any sort. She can bloody well increase her work hours or move out of she feels hard done by!

Do the friends know that she's being serious when they have said they will lend her money? At that age we were all in the same boat in terms of spare cash...

That said, I was away with my boyfriend at that age on a holiday we'd both worked to pay for, that we'd saved up our money for and that we both had arranged our own travel insurance. My mum was the type of parent who made me travel the route home from uni 4 x on the train with suitcases as she wouldn't give me a lift with all my stuff.

But it absolutely taught me resilience...and shows the difference in today's entitled generation - I can't believe how many of you are advocating that the OP give her extra money when she doesn't work more than one day a week, doesn't help around the house, doesn't cook, clean, etc.... yeah let's reward her with some holiday spends!

Travel insurance is a non-negotiable, I would pay for it for her. Beyond that, let her crack on.

I think we can all accept what happened to you at Seville airport whilst also believing that other people did not have the same experience - whether in Spain or any other European country.

Oh, come on.... They're hardly going to be knitting and reading People's Friend are they?

OP’s DD is going to Greece - that’s why people are talking about it. This thread isn’t about you and your holiday in Seville, even though you seem convinced it is.

YABU. She's young and inexperienced, and of course has little money.

In a very similar situation I took my daughter in hand, got the insurance, sorted out her jabs, and subbed her a significant amount so she could live while out there.

I get that it could be annoying if you're skint. I wasn't super impressed by my dd's budgeting and planning skills. However, she still learnt the lesson, just a bit less painfully.

It maybe not be clubs, bars shops etc.

Seriously not everyone is into the clubbing scene

So sorry. Now I've RTFT I get it. The same dd who I was talking about was similar in other ways to yours. I wondered about BPD, but its definitely neurodivergence plus major mental health conditions and episodes for many years. Some of those really scarred me for life, the agonising rollercoaster.

However, I took the damage limitation option, when presented with no other. So that's what I would probably do. I realised once they are 18, you have no control. None whatsoever. So all you have is the best safeguarding you can come up with. I hope it goes well. 🙏

@ThisTealLeader you are NOT an awful parent, or an awful person.

Parenting tricky kids is really really hard. It's also heartbreaking.

I think you have no choice but to accept that she is going to go. Pay for the travel insurance as it will certainly be cheaper than paying for the consequences of not having it!

When she comes home sit her down and outline what her household chores are going

You have descended into hysteria about a different adults holiday in a different country from the one you went to.

My eyebrows can’t take being so high up on my forehead reading your posts so it’s good news that the OP seems to have it all in hand now.

Make sure she shares her phone location with her friends, sort out her travel insurance and email it to her, likely only to cost £5 or less.

id book her travel insurance and let her go , if she falls flat that'll teach her she needs to be more wise if she cancels shell lose money, if anything happens and she has no insurance then thats in you to pay

Every time you post, you make yourself sound worse! Why wouldn’t you wish her a happy holiday and throw some spending money in, regardless of the fact she might be a little emotionally immature? Most teenagers are still petulant and irritating at 18. And why mention the fact she doesn’t pay rent? She’s at college and working one day a week - of course she shouldn’t pay rent!
Poor girl.

At that age the vast majority are, especially on holiday.

It’s access to funds, they don’t have to be in your bank.

The rules on this haven’t changed since EES, you could have been asked to provide proof of access to funds at any border control before EES, it’s just that people with a hotel/accommodation and return flight back rarely are.