AIBU to think my daughter cannot afford this holiday abroad?

[ThisTealLeader]

Daughter (18) has booked a holiday with friends abroad, didn’t tell us the full amount and then lied about how much spending money she has. They are going bed and breakfast. She will have less than £200 spending money for a week’s holiday. She has used savings to pay for the holiday.
She is saying that her friend will be lending her money if she falls short, which she will I am sure.
My point is she is not being sensible with her money. She only works one day a week and so she cannot actually afford it and hasn’t thought it through.
I think she needs to cancel as it is irresponsible in my opinion to be going abroad with no backup. As far as I am aware she hasn’t booked travel insurance and is reluctant to do so as this will eat into her spending money.
Would like people’s thoughts on this?

It's hard.
When my eldest dd was 18, she booked a holiday for end of a levels with friends. One managed to not pay her share for anything and the others covered for her. She never paid back a penny and never spoke to any of them again!
If she is going ( and you can't stop her) take out insurance for her now. It is peanuts for an 18 year old.
She has paid for the holiday herself. I'd give her some spends personally.

Depends where she is going.

Ibiza - that £200 will be gone in one night. My son is currently in Split, Croatia (no where near as expensive as Ibiza) and they pre drink in their apartment, but are still spending at least £120 a night. £30 to get in some clubs.

She will definitely be drinking water on nights out.

She’ll have to really cut her clothe accordingly.

DS is currently on holiday with his friends for a week in Spain. He is 18. Travel insurance was £14. He's taken £300 spending money (but has my credit card on his phone for emergencies (he will pay me back)

I read your updates and I understand. I’m glad you are considering getting her travel insurance. Just trying to think of a few things to help you out of the nagging mum space she has put you in and move you in to a supportive mum space. A few practical things for her to think about:

There is a daily tourism tax usually paid on arrival. Has she checked this out?

£200 will not go far at all on Zante. Gyros places are good for cheap food. Greek bakeries are also brilliant for a cheap snack. I often see tavernas boxing up leftovers. People won’t be offended by asking.

The cheapest alcohol is Retsina. It can be an acquired taste but lemonade sorts that out and then it is lovely. Can be ordered when out drinking/eating or bought at a supermarket to have at home.

It will also get her drunk less quickly than cocktails. Splash of cherry/peach juice and gin and it’s a home made cocktail though.

Tsipouro is the local spirit. It is often given as a shot for free. It is fire water and one is plenty. Limoncello also often given for free is kinder.

Really look at what you are buying in a supermarket. Don’t get British brands - eg Kelloggs etc. Seasonality is different to the uk so the peach and cherry juice mentioned above are cheap while apple juice is pricy (opposite to UK).

Her friends won’t want to babysit an emotionally immature 18-year-old who needs hands outs. They will also be annoyed if their activity choices end up being curbed b cause of her budget. These things become very big on holidays. She needs to establish herself in the group by being super responsible for their living spaces, being the on a budget pre-drinks cocktail maker or similar.

Has she worked out what her friends are planning - club entries, boat tours, other tours? This can help her budget. It is worth shopping around.

What you've described in the second paragraph sounds pretty sad, pathetic, and feeble. Wandering up and down the strip? 'Oh, how you doing, doll..., fancy a half can of Monster...?' Hold me back, ffs...😂For me, at that age, it was all about the bars and discos.

She’s 18 it’s what they do. Her travel insurance will be about £3 unless she’s got illnesses to declare . £200 Isnt a lot especially if they’ll be out every night as they probably will be. Can she not have her Xmas n birthday money early from you as extra spends if you can’t afford to give her a bit extra ?

I’d support her to go with her friends . I missed a trip to Greece the summer after first year at uni with my new uni friends because I simply couldn’t afford it. I didn’t ask my parents because they couldn’t afford to help me and I also needed to work all summer.
If you can afford to help her please do.

My apologies , after reading all your comments I think you are right to be worried and you sound like an involved and caring parent . It does sound like she has lots of issues and as you say she is vulnerable.

In my family, when the younger ones go on holiday we always give them some spending money (GPS/DPs).

Assuming she's only working one day a week because of studying?

What airport asks that?!

Over 30 years ago when my DD booked a holiday with her friends she lost her job before it was paid for . We paid for her self catering holiday and gave her spending money . She had a whale of a time .
She is in her fifties now, married with a grown up DD of her own and she would do the same for her . Why wouldn’t you do the same ? I’d have hated my DD to have missed a fun time with her friends if she didn’t need to .

No greek one ever on standard tourist entry. Unhelpful scaremongering nonsense.

After saying earlier that I needed to step back from the thread I do feel the need to respond to some of the comments. I can’t do so individually as too many.

I have agreed to buy travel insurance and will do that today or tomorrrow. I have also done the health card thing. It won’t arrive in time but I think as someone said if it has been applied for it’s in the system. I have also just sat down with my daughter and helped her to set up her monzo account so that she can use her card with no fees.
We will be giving her some euros in cash to take, not sure how much yet and we haven’t told her yet.
I was really cross with her yesterday so the lies and not being open and honest. This is a pattern of behaviour and not a new thing but we will keep working on it and keeping communication as open as possible.

So for all you haters and perfect parents you can see I am not a total heartless person. Just a mum who was exasperated by her daughter not thinking things through properly and her up and down behaviour.

Despite all her vulnerabilities I appreciate that she needs to spread her wings despite my anxieties.
I am sure I will be worried sick and tracking her on Apple Maps religiously but I can’t let everything go. Yes I am a control freak but yes I am working on it!

They absolutely can. Almost every country has a set minimum amount per day you need to be able to prove you have access to. They hardly ever ask, and I mean they really do hardly ever ask. But they can. If they do ask, and you don’t have the minimum per day, then they can refuse entry.

Again - hardly ever happens. Minuscule number of people are asked, but anyone could be.

You can quibble all you want but I was asked by the machines in Spain if it had proof of £1200 in my account! I'm not saying it's identical for every for country but they'll all want more than £200 for an entire holiday so I was absolutely correct! I doubt she is going to any country that stipulates about £30 a day!

I'm really glad that you're taking these views on board. Nobody was being a 'hater', just expressing sympathy with your daughter.

I was asked it when I was on the biometric system entering Seville in April! The screen asked me if I could prove to police that I had £1200 in my account! I was never approached by any police and asked to show that proof but the machines in Seville airport asked me if I could prove it! People need to wake up to thos, the new EES system is a different kettle of fish! I'm well travelled so I do tend to know these things!

You are wrong. You stated she would need 1,200 British pounds in her bank account.

On the miniscule chance she was questioned she would need to prove she could access 50 euros per day in Greece - her accommodation cost is discounted from this. Bank of mum and dad would be acceptable for the rest if the available funds of M&D can be shown.

I am surprised this wasn’t explained to you when you were asked recently in Greece.

Are you accusing me of being a liar? The machine at Seville airport asked me if I could prove to the police that I had £1200 in my account! Nobody asked me for that proof but I was asked if I could prove it and that was in April this year! But I'm 46, they are probably less likely to ask me than they are a teenager! Some of you need to get your head around these EES rules! I don't how many people they ask for proof - I went to Poland a couple of weeks back and in the passport hall on arrival, the British girl next to me was being asked to show all sorts of things at the passport desk because some biometric systems are at the desk. You'd be wise to listen to me rather than call me a liar!

What? I wasn’t asked recently in Greece. What are you talking about? And I already told another poster that she was wrong with the figure of €1200. I am not the poster who said €1200 - I corrected that poster. Another poster asked which airports ask for proof and I was just explaining that any airport can ask for proof of minimum funds stipulated by the country you are entering. I said it depends on the country, and it’s a minimum per day.
The post you’ve quoted is simply me saying that anyone could be asked for proof of funds, it barely happens but you can be asked.

Which part of my post is wrong?

Apologies I quoted you in error! 💐

I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know why you are obsessing over Greece as I haven't read anything as to where the the OPs daughter is going to! You are inventing your own silly rules! I was not asked on that screen about my accommodation or how much it cost!! Have you bothered to read how you have to.prove you have those finances? They don't just take your word for it and you can't just load up internet banking! Bank of mummy and daddy won't be permissable unless they are there physically with her at the passport desk with paper bank statements! They arent going to accept that a random in another country is going to bail you out! You need proof of those funds and proof that you can access those funds from that destination!

I wasn't in Greece! I was asked in Seville! Just give in and accept the truth! It's a risk to try and walk into any country with barely any funds, it you get challenged you get deported and an 18 year old maybe more likely to get asked!

OP says they are going to a Greek island. In her 4th or 5th post. Greece requires €50 euros a day - if they are going for a week then that’s €350, but less if accommodation costs are already paid.

You keep going on about 1200 - but that’s not the rules for Greece.

How do you actually know they will be clubbing every night. Not all teenagers do