AIBU to think my daughter cannot afford this holiday abroad?

[ThisTealLeader]

Daughter (18) has booked a holiday with friends abroad, didn’t tell us the full amount and then lied about how much spending money she has. They are going bed and breakfast. She will have less than £200 spending money for a week’s holiday. She has used savings to pay for the holiday.
She is saying that her friend will be lending her money if she falls short, which she will I am sure.
My point is she is not being sensible with her money. She only works one day a week and so she cannot actually afford it and hasn’t thought it through.
I think she needs to cancel as it is irresponsible in my opinion to be going abroad with no backup. As far as I am aware she hasn’t booked travel insurance and is reluctant to do so as this will eat into her spending money.
Would like people’s thoughts on this?

I bought my dd some travel insurance last week as I knew she wouldn’t bother, it was £11 for an annual policy, can you not just buy this for her for peace of mind?

The relationship between you and your DD seems to have deteriorated over the years to now a very unhappy and unhealthy relationship. You don’t seem to at all like your daughter and your daughter seems to have lost any respect for you.

What about you and her going away for a few nights together this summer just to have fun together and reconnect @ThisTealLeader ?

For an annual?? Who with @GoldOP ?

I could easily spend £50 at WHSmith in a train station, what is it, like £2.50 for a twix. I don't obviously.
It was so easy to get by on next to nothing on hols in my 20s, but European destinations now are really expensive for everything and if you've not got that bargain mindset it's so easy to spend here and there and run out quickly.
My last holiday in my 20s we survived on bread rolls for the last 2 days.
Lol

Great, I'm really glad you've helped her with this. I know it'll be a worry while she's away but I also think it's an important experience for her. And for you.

Hopefully it will also help her to learn that burying her head in the sand and keeping secrets added stress and that communicating better and being more open about her worries means that you can help her with finding solutions or just venting without any fear of judgement or being told off.

I say that as someone who buries my head in the sand when I'm stressed about things and I'm not great at sharing my worries. But when I do that feeling of relief is delicious!

I hope she has a fabulous time and makes lots of great memories with her mates.

That’s something and also yoire admitting fault on both sides, which is also good.

think back to you being that age, how would you behave with a mother who was highly critical of you, very judgemental, very controlling and made your younger sibling the golden child. Be honest, as a teen would you behave any differently to her.

this is on you to repair the relationship, and you’ve made good steps.

So why reward her with a car?

Are you also doing her washing?

Can you make her download Life360. It is brilliant. You can see the very street they are on. My daughter is solo round Europe at the moment and it is my life saver

How can comprehensive travel insurance cost only £3?

Let her enjoy her holiday , if I was you I would pay her travel insurance probably about£30 or less for my peace of mind .

Sons girlfriend 21 years old just took travel insurance out for a week in eygpt it was £3 for a week £100 excess

I agree sons gf just paid £3 for a week in eygpt no heath issues £150 excess I was well jealous 😂😂 mine and hubby’s is bout £80 for a week 😂😂

Maybe not £3 but at 21 my DS paid £20 on an annual worldwide policy ( except USA) so I would imagine one for a week or 2 in Europe is cheaper

Buy her the travel insurance, encourage her to earn some more for holiday spends .
what they spend per day depends on what they’re doing each day and where they’re going .
We had to top up our oldest when she was overseas for a lengthier period of time .
She was babysitting when she was there

OP if you are still reading...

CANCEL THE CHEQUE .

What do you mean?

I addressed it to you but it wasn't meant for you 😁.
It's a reference from an old thread that I didn't read where not only people kept on telling the OP to cancel the cheque over and over, but they clearly didn't read OP updates where the OP had already done that, but the situation had moved on significantly.
Basically, you are going to be advised to buy travel insurance, long after the holiday is over and your daughter is 25 and married 🤣.

Oh ok I had no idea what you were on about 😂

The travel insurance was purchased and £150 in euros handed over this morning plus toiletries she needed which she didn’t expect. So all good! Rules of the holiday drummed into her and hopefully she comes back older and wiser.

You have done well here in very exasperating circumstances. I hope you can get through this week without any major issues - but I am sure there will be a few to bump along.

Thank you, I’m sure there will be and I appreciate all the advice and support on this thread.

Yeah well done on this one op.
Who knows, she might think a little bit less selfishly when it dawns on her that you've supported her and made this holiday happen properly.

X

Whynot just help her out . She is young. Let her have fun.
Therr is the rest of her life for committments and responsibiliries.

A holiday will do her good. She has to find her feet in spite of bad choices. Give her the money and tell her to enjoy herself. Dont catadtrophize. She may actually be perfectly ok,in spite of your misgivings.

Presumably because OP wants to encourage a more responsible attitude. People's views differ on that and that's OPs call I guess.
I'm merely flagging up that a vulnerable, impulsive young woman who particularly struggles to make sensible choices, on holiday with no money, is multiple times more vulnerable than she would be with enough to get by.
That the first duty is keeping them safe and in this case imo that would involve giving her access to extra money.
If the OP wants to also teach a life lesson about budgeting, repaying it is an option.