AIBU to think the teachers were unprofessional about my son's lunch?

[SonnyHoney]

My 16-year-old son went on a biology trip today. He's currently doing A levels. He took a portion of fried mince (seasoned) and rice that he made yesterday with him. It was a fairly large portion. He is underweight and has been bulking by eating lots of protein and carbohydrates.

He said that both of his biology teachers put him on the spot for a good few minutes about his lunch choice. They were laying into him about how he needs more fibre in his diet and they didn't pick on anyone elses food. He is actually quite a shy lad, and he finds it hard to stick up for himself against adults.

I told him he needs to stick up for himself, and he said it was very hard to stick up to his biology teachers. Which I do understand as mentioned he is a 16 year old lad, and they are two women in their late 30s. He says that one of these teachers in particular is always picking on him. Other people in the class have noticed it as well, supposedly.

Am I being unreasonable to think its highly unprofessional for 2 teachers in their 30s to put a shy lad on the spot in front of all his peers and make him feel uncomfortable about his food choices for several minutes.

I've been a scout leader, and I'm now a guide leader and I'd never treat a teen like this.

Don’t worry OP, YANBU and you’re not a bad Mum who has raised their DS badly, nor is he unhealthy and spineless…there is some mad trend lately for laying in to the OP. It’s just ridiculous.

This sounds entirely inappropriate behaviour from the teachers to me. I consider commenting on teen’s eating an absolutely no go.

As we’ve seen from this thread - people have very different opinions on what is healthy eating and it is very entitled behaviour imo if the teachers think they are “right” on this topic. Telling someone to eat more tofu rather than red meat is the biggest load of bollocks imHo. But if someone was eating tofu I would mind my own fucking business.

That’s not the issue though. What he was eating just shouldn’t have been under discussion whatever it was, never mind persistent and public discussion as it sounds like it was. Poor form. And an imbalance of power - it’s all very well people saying your DS should stand up for himself but it would be very difficult for him to tell his teachers they were wrong without been seen as rude.

You can't judge someone's diet over one packed lunch. It could be a pasty and crisps but they usually eat really wholesome home cooked. Not at all reasonable and a teenage boy may need to eat a lot, they are growing fast.

For Gods sake….

As a 38 y/o man who struggled with being underweight/eating disorder in my teens and 20s, and received similar comments from teachers I think these biology teachers are absolutely vile and destructive.

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t…so glad I’m not teaching any more. Another ‘One Side of the story ‘ story.

No it fucking isn't, they are massively overstepping.

I don’t think they should have commented on his food but I also don’t think you need to make a massive drama out of it. He’s not going to cope very well in adult life if he can’t handle someone making a comment about his unhealthy lunch!

Gives him protein and carbs, perfectly fine lunch.

I don’t understand what’s wrong with his lunch? Like you say it’s no worse than meat and bread. What a shame

It’s in appropriate to comment on someone’s meal. Especially singling them out in a group setting.

You cannot judge someone’s diet based on a snapshot of 1 meal out of 21 across the week.

Providing he’s eating fruit and vegetables at other times, a lunch of beef and rice is fine.

@BringBackCatsEyes they apologised and MTA moved on at the end of that term.
My point is that one meal, especially a packed lunch, should not define what a child’s diet is. DD2’s lunch always looked rubbish especially when compared with DD1’s. DD1 loved all fruit, so her packed lunch had lots of fruit in it. DD2 was never really into fruit but would eat any veg other than mushrooms. 20 years ago it was a ballache trying to shoehorn veg into a packed lunch so I gave her what I knew she would eat for lunch, and made up the shortfall at dinner. But the MTA didn’t see dinner…

He 16 not 6!
Sounded a bit over the top from the teachers.

He is old enough to make his own decisions over what he eats.

There are worst diets out there that 16 year olds are eating !

It is not awful. It’s protein!

Pair of sanctimonious busybodies. Ignore and move on.

They probably saw that he had made some sort of effort (as opposed to some ham in between two pieces of bread and packet of crisps) so thought he was trying to be healthy so took it upon themselves to give their unsolicited advice. Unfortunately people pushing their views regarding food and nutrition is very common (as can be seen in this thread) and probably wasn’t picking on him despite it being incredibly annoying.

I wouldn’t take this particular situation any further personally.

I would assume a teacher knew better than to make personal comments to a student who she must know is not the most confident kid! As she doesn’t know better, I’m assuming she is a bully! The end

This 100%.

Or he has exaggerated what they said, or interpreted it in the wrong way?
Teenagers can be very sensitive and easily get offended……
just a thought.
i think most sixth formers would be able to joke about this and have some banter.

It’s possible they are a pair of terrible teachers who are a danger to children and need to be investigated for their systemised bullying of a shy young man.
its also possible that it was an ill judged attempt at a light hearted conversation with a student with whom they are trying to build a more ‘yr 13’ relationship - one where you’re a cool aunty type rather than a more remote authority figure suited to lower school teaching.
strangers on the internet cannot tell you which version of events is more likely so if it’s a huge deal to your son and he’s still disturbed by it now, you could email the teachers and let them know he is unhappy with the conversation.
And/or you could also go to Ofsted, the chair of governors, the head teacher etc and see whether you can get the teachers investigated but it depends what your intended outcome is.

I can't respond to each individual question but

• He has always been slightly underweight over the years despite eating a well balanced diet. He was under paediatrics for his low weight and has tried hard to put weight on through diet and exercise and it's working for him.

• He isn't the sort of person to brag and would of never mentioned his diet to the teachers.

• I don't see why some people think Mince and rice is such a terrible meal. People eat Fish and chips or chicken and chips cooked in seed oils which is protein and carb and nobody bats an eyelid.

I work in a school and know the kids who can take banter and the ones who can’t. Not everyone is the same!

Ignore as AIBU is worse than ever and is a cesspit at the moment.

I would therefore tell him to ignore their pettiness.
It’s a very strange situation and highly unusual for a sixth former to take this on board.
i get students coming into my room, eating huge packs of cheap sweets, full of additives, along side energy drinks, for their breakfast. Then they ask for their ADHD meds.

I would not have even batted an eyelid over what your son was eating.

It’s fine for the occasional meal, and well done to him for cooking it himself. He’s cooking sweet potato, chicken and veg tomorrow according to OP.
I’ve seen plenty of 16 yr old lads having a couple of pepperamis, monster munch, chocolate and coke for lunch.
I think it depends on the tone the teachers used. If they were asking in general terms if he’d tried tofu, does he like veg, was he aware of health issues re red meat, I think that’s fine. If they “laid into him” as you say and criticised in a derogatory way that is not acceptable.

I'm not justifying it, but are you aware there's memes about 'boy kibble' - ground beef and rice - that's become a staple repetitive meal for young lads trying to bulk*? I wonder if it's because they see this a lot, and young men who eat these meals pretty much exclusively, and (wrongly) assumed your son was doing the same?

*The focus being on building muscle and excess calories, so protein and 'clean' carbs but no attention paid to any other aspect of nutrition/health